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Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
4,375 posts, read 4,090,448 times
Reputation: 2158
Quote:
Originally Posted by TaoistDude
Quote:
Originally Posted by neutrino78x
You guys wouldn't have this problem if you did it my way.
What problem is that? Celibacy?
No, I'm saying you wouldn't have the issue of "I have only been on 1 date with them, I barely know them" because you would already have known them for months or years.
Given the mobility of today's society, once you're past high school most people no longer know compatible and potential partners for years. For most, your approach is simply not possible or realistic.
I wouldn't date. I would be friends for months or years, then tell the person how I feel, and we would go from there. Dating people you didn't know already is lame. You guys wouldn't have this problem if you did it my way.
As long as it takes for me to want to bang him, but never more than four dates. If it gets to four and he hasn't put a move on me, I consider him a non-operative and I move on to someone with more testosterone. Also, I'm not spending months "getting to know" someone only to find out he's a dud in bed.
No, I'm saying you wouldn't have the issue of "I have only been on 1 date with them, I barely know them" because you would already have known them for months or years.
That's ridiculous. You can't be friends with someone then lay on the "I'm so in love with you". It doesn't work like that. You're attracted to someone on whatever level, physically, intellectually, psychologically or a combination, then you start going out with them and get to know them on an even deeper level, then you fall in love. No wonder you can't find a girlfriend, you're missing an entire chunk of the process.
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
4,375 posts, read 4,090,448 times
Reputation: 2158
Quote:
Originally Posted by TaoistDude
Given the mobility of today's society, once you're past high school most people no longer know compatible and potential partners for years. For most, your approach is simply not possible or realistic.
I don't agree with that. A lot of people do it. They might have someone they meet at the gym and know them for a few months and eventually a relationship develops.
The other way is artificial. I agree with Katie Couric (reporter and former news anchor for the CBS Evening News); a couple years after her husband died, she was asked if she had dated much. She said she didn't date at all. She said "I think these things should happen organically."
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
4,375 posts, read 4,090,448 times
Reputation: 2158
Quote:
Originally Posted by Djuna
That's ridiculous. You can't be friends with someone then lay on the "I'm so in love with you". It doesn't work like that. You're attracted to someone on whatever level, physically, intellectually, psychologically or a combination, then you start going out with them and get to know them on an even deeper level, then you fall in love. No wonder you can't find a girlfriend, you're missing an entire chunk of the process.
No, I just don't agree with those parts. I want it to develop from a friendship. Doing it that way does work for a lot of people.
Unfortunately neither method will work for me because my body and personality are not very attractive. But I strongly prefer the "expand your social circle" method to the "spend time for romantic purposes with people for whom you don't have romantic feelings" method.
I wouldn't date. I would be friends for months or years, then tell the person how I feel, and we would go from there. Dating people you didn't know already is lame. You guys wouldn't have this problem if you did it my way.
By "we would go from there", do you mean killing the friendship because she's not impressed that you've been misrepresenting yourself for years?
You are the one with no sex life and no relationship, yet most of the rest of us are managing just fine, so we aren't the ones going about it the wrong way.
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