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I'm going on 2 years of being single. I went through a span a unhealthy, long-term relationships and decided that to break the pattern, I needed to be single and learn to be happy with myself.
Now, at 27, I'm ready to find that special someone and settle down. The problem is, I feel like I'm extremely guarded from being hurt in the past and don't put myself out there enough in order to keep from getting hurt.
At the beginning of April, I moved to a new city for work. I met a group of girlfriends that I spend most of my time with.
One of the girls I have met (I'll call her Sam), seems to have liked EVERY guy I ever come in contact with at some point. At first I didn't think much of it, but now I feel like any guy is off limits because she liked him. I've always been the type of person that wouldn't go after a guy if a friend of mine liked him.
On Friday, my friend Sam told me that 2 of her guys friends from college were coming into town for the Panthers game today and were going to come to her place to grill out and watch the UNC game, before going to watch the Clemson game at a bar. She invited me to join. She continued to tell me more about these guys and how she used to like one of the guys (Jason) when they were in college.
So yesterday the boys came over and we all spent the day together. I was really attracted to Jason. He was exactly my type physically, but we also had a lot in common. The only thing is he lives about 3 hours away (although he is trying to move here).
As the night went on and we drank more, I become a little more flirtatious. We would joke around and talk, but I also am a social butterfly when I'm out (ESPECIALLY when I'm drinking), so I wasn't standing by his side the whole night. At the end of the night, we all went back to Sam's place. Sam said she was going to bed and that someone could sleep in the spare bedroom and the other 2 had the couch. The boys offered me the spare bedroom but I was already laid out on the couch so I passed it up. Jason's friend went upstairs to the spare bedroom and left me and Jason downstairs. Jason got up and covered me with a blanket. In my "tipsy" state, I wanted to ask him to cuddle but didn't. I more so didn't want to step on any toes since Sam had mentioned that at one point she was into him.
I woke up at 5am and told Jason I was going home. He kind of tried to get me to stay but I had a horrible headache and I wanted to sleep in my bed. So I left.
Later this morning, I sent him a message on Facebook saying sorry for dipping out so suddenly, that I wanted my bed and joked about him snoring. Then I told him it was nice to meet him and to come back and visit soon. He responded pretty quickly that he figured I wanted to get in my bed and that he was sorry for snoring and he would come back and visit soon. I responded back and joked that it was just a little snore here and there and he said "haha, good to know". I didn't respond.
Well - now I completely regret how things went down. First of all, I'm tired of considering everyone else and whether or not they used to like someone like 10 years ago and not putting myself out there. I wish I would have maybe asked him to cuddle or made it a little more obvious that I was into him.
Now I'm not sure what to do. I feel like I lost my chance. I was thinking maybe I should reach out to him and say something like "Hey, I'm not sure what your current situation is, but I'd be interested in getting together when you're in town".
Who is Mike? Jason is the one you liked though, correct?
If she never had anything with these guys and it's been years since she was into them, they are fair game. It's not like they are her exes. Just let her know you like so-and-so and see what happens.
You are a good friend for being concerned about her feelings. Now it's time for her to be a good friend to you.
Who is Mike? Jason is the one you liked though, correct?
If she never had anything with these guys and it's been years since she was into them, they are fair game. It's not like they are her exes. Just let her know you like so-and-so and see what happens.
You are a good friend for being concerned about her feelings. Now it's time for her to be a good friend to you.
I am not sure what you want to hear, but as I see if he is interested in you he will contact you. Just be your self. Dont go behind guys if some one interested they will approach. But how ever if Sam is interested in him why still not a couple?
"Just wishing there was a football game this weekend so I could see you again."
I'm a member of another site who tends to have the biggest debbie downers congregate in one place. Someone said something like "if he was interested, he would have asked for your number or something like that".
But honestly, is there REALLY true? How many people have been interested or attracted to someone but never said anything because they didn't want to be rejected or think the other person wasn't into them? I know I have ... MANY times.
It wasn't like I was by his side the entire night, making it extremely obvious I was into him.
When I'm drinking, I'm somewhat of a social butterfly. Not to mention (and not saying this in a cocky way), I had multiple men come up to me to talk/hit on me. I'm not sure any guy would want to put himself out there when the girl is being hit on by other guys, right?
I'm going on 2 years of being single. I went through a span a unhealthy, long-term relationships and decided that to break the pattern, I needed to be single and learn to be happy with myself.
Now, at 27, I'm ready to find that special someone and settle down. The problem is, I feel like I'm extremely guarded from being hurt in the past and don't put myself out there enough in order to keep from getting hurt.
At the beginning of April, I moved to a new city for work. I met a group of girlfriends that I spend most of my time with.
One of the girls I have met (I'll call her Sam), seems to have liked EVERY guy I ever come in contact with at some point. At first I didn't think much of it, but now I feel like any guy is off limits because she liked him. I've always been the type of person that wouldn't go after a guy if a friend of mine liked him.
On Friday, my friend Sam told me that 2 of her guys friends from college were coming into town for the Panthers game today and were going to come to her place to grill out and watch the UNC game, before going to watch the Clemson game at a bar. She invited me to join. She continued to tell me more about these guys and how she used to like one of the guys (Jason) when they were in college.
So yesterday the boys came over and we all spent the day together. I was really attracted to Jason. He was exactly my type physically, but we also had a lot in common. The only thing is he lives about 3 hours away (although he is trying to move here).
As the night went on and we drank more, I become a little more flirtatious. We would joke around and talk, but I also am a social butterfly when I'm out (ESPECIALLY when I'm drinking), so I wasn't standing by his side the whole night. At the end of the night, we all went back to Sam's place. Sam said she was going to bed and that someone could sleep in the spare bedroom and the other 2 had the couch. The boys offered me the spare bedroom but I was already laid out on the couch so I passed it up. Jason's friend went upstairs to the spare bedroom and left me and Jason downstairs. Jason got up and covered me with a blanket. In my "tipsy" state, I wanted to ask him to cuddle but didn't. I more so didn't want to step on any toes since Sam had mentioned that at one point she was into him.
I woke up at 5am and told Jason I was going home. He kind of tried to get me to stay but I had a horrible headache and I wanted to sleep in my bed. So I left.
Later this morning, I sent him a message on Facebook saying sorry for dipping out so suddenly, that I wanted my bed and joked about him snoring. Then I told him it was nice to meet him and to come back and visit soon. He responded pretty quickly that he figured I wanted to get in my bed and that he was sorry for snoring and he would come back and visit soon. I responded back and joked that it was just a little snore here and there and he said "haha, good to know". I didn't respond.
Well - now I completely regret how things went down. First of all, I'm tired of considering everyone else and whether or not they used to like someone like 10 years ago and not putting myself out there. I wish I would have maybe asked him to cuddle or made it a little more obvious that I was into him.
Now I'm not sure what to do. I feel like I lost my chance. I was thinking maybe I should reach out to him and say something like "Hey, I'm not sure what your current situation is, but I'd be interested in getting together when you're in town".
Thoughts?
Ugh, I had one of those "friends" back in college. If I even said, "John is so hot", she'd disagree but yet be all over him within a few days. I learned to keep my mouth shut
Don't feel like you have to walk on eggshells. We can't help who we like sometimes. If Jason was into her then he would have shown it. And if she was into him, why didn't she flirt with him? She said she used to like him. Maybe she doesn't feel that way anymore. Only way to find out is keep communicating with Jason
I messaged him. He responded right away and said "Throw it out there girl lol My situation is I am enjoying life and trying to make something of myself within my career. I'm always up for hanging out though .. And the panthers got ROCKED"
I messaged him. He responded right away and said "Throw it out there girl lol My situation is I am enjoying life and trying to make something of myself within my career. I'm always up for hanging out though .. And the panthers got ROCKED"
Thoughts?
Hmmm, sounds like he's not looking for a relationship...
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