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Well, each of us have our own homes, so there will be no moving in for either of us. I will take it slow, but there is no sense in cutting off my nose to spite my face. Since this happened, she has jumped through hoops to prove her feelings, and has done a lot of things to help show her loyalty.
The decision is yours, I was just giving you my personal opinion. If you like her enough then stay with what you have, just don't get your hopes up of advancing it further. Good luck.
Well, each of us have our own homes, so there will be no moving in for either of us. I will take it slow, but there is no sense in cutting off my nose to spite my face. Since this happened, she has jumped through hoops to prove her feelings, and has done a lot of things to help show her loyalty.
Well, I am not a Dr. Phil fan, but I like one thing he has said, "You can be hurt, but don't be hurtful."
If you can let her behavior go and trust her enough to stay, do just that. She owe you nothing at this point to prove her loyalty. Either you trust her or move on.
It seems like in the past couple of days, you tried to convince the online posters that she's still trustworthy. Are you trying to convince yourself? Do you care for her? If you do, let this go and stop torturing (for lack of a better word here) yourself or her.
She was still flirtatious towards her ex husband. It is a fact. Can you deal with that? I have never had similar experiences. My exes hated their ex wives. LOL So no worries there.
My GF Nancy and I are in our 40's and have been married before. Each of us has kids by our previous marriage and both of our ex's have remarried. Last week Nancy's youngest daughter got married. Both side of the family are well-to do, but the bride and groom decided to have each family pay for a portion of the events. The grooms family paid for the rehearsal dinner, Nancy's ex paid for the wedding and Nancy was supposed to pay for the reception, but I wanted to do something for her daughter (I have a great relationship with her kids) and so I offered to put on the reception.
A little background. Nancy and I met about a year and a half ago, started dating a year ago and have been sort of living together since then. Each of us have kept our houses, but we sleep together , sometimes at my house , sometimes at hers. Nancy has been divorced for over 10 years , me for about 6. Her ex husband, "Ray" is a very accomplished African -American man. Doctor, and head of a mid-Western hospital. He is re-married to "Betty", who is Afro-American, as well. Nancy and I are both white. My ex wife is remarried and lives in another state.
The rehearsal dinner went well, and so did the marriage. During the after picture taking, the photographer asked Nancy if she and I would like a picture, but Nancy told him no , that I wasn't a member of the family. We went to the reception dinner that I had catered, and Nancy's sister told me that Nancy was very nervous and had a couple of drinks to loosen up. During the after dinner speeches and toasts, Nancy got up and began a story, the gist of it was that 25 years ago she met "the love of her life" , and that regardless of the outcome, she wished her daughter "Tasha" All of the joy she had , and that "first loves are best loves". Then the dancing began, and after the first two dances, both sets of parents danced together. I was not paying attention , until somebody near me commented on how close Ray and Nancy were dancing. I looked over and they were glued together with Ray rubbing Nancy's back. Nancy was wearing a backless gown. Then when the music stopped they kissed and it was no peck but a pretty full kiss. Then Nancy thanked everybody for all that they did. She thanked the Groom's family for the rehearsal dinner, Ray's family for the wedding, but not one word about me and my paying for the reception. All of the time with Ray's arm around her waist. She had been table hopping all night, but when I asked her to dance, she was too tired. I went back to the bar, and immediately after, Ray's wife Betty started a very serious conversation with him, and left. I overheard somebody at the bar saying that perhaps Tasha's mom and dad still had sparks. I felt humiliated and decided that was enough, so I left. I haven't talked to Nancy since then, and don't really want to. I feel that she disarespected me and that she still has feelings for her ex, so I am not going to be second best. I guess what I want to know is if I'm being stupid and jealous, or if I read the situation right.
No, you're totally right. I agree with you. She does not respect you. I would not pursue her but, it sounds like you being treated that way.
It sounds to me like you've had more of a FWB situation than a relationship if you both have your own places and just spend the night at each others place. I agree that she disrespected you and you had every right to not talk to her. My recommendation is to just end it. If she's trying to get back in favor with her ex (who is also married) that could really blow up into an ugly mess which I'm sure you don't want to be involved in.
Update to my situation. She has been going above and beyond to show that I'm the one she wants. She has given me a thousand assurances and actions, to show that she has zero feelings for Ray and that it was only a combination of alcohol and the marriage ceremony, that made her emotional and she instigated NONE of it. I also have talked to 3 people who heard her tell Ray to stop, including Ray's wife, Betty. She has told me that she will not contact anyone from the other side of the family, without letting me know about it, and will not contact Ray in any way, except with my approval.
I asked her about she and I having a FWB relationship for the time being, and she agreed, but was not happy about it, but understands that she has to rebuild trust, so she is OK with it , as a temporary situation, but not as a long term solution.
I have talked to several people who know both of them , and 100% of them say that there is nothing between them and hasn't been, since the divorce.
I have no intention of monitoring her behavior, so I have adopted a "wait and see" attitude, for the foreseeable future, until I am satisfied that everything is as she has said.
Update to my situation. She has been going above and beyond to show that I'm the one she wants. She has given me a thousand assurances and actions, to show that she has zero feelings for Ray and that it was only a combination of alcohol and the marriage ceremony, that made her emotional and she instigated NONE of it. I also have talked to 3 people who heard her tell Ray to stop, including Ray's wife, Betty. She has told me that she will not contact anyone from the other side of the family, without letting me know about it, and will not contact Ray in any way, except with my approval.
I asked her about she and I having a FWB relationship for the time being, and she agreed, but was not happy about it, but understands that she has to rebuild trust, so she is OK with it , as a temporary situation, but not as a long term solution.
I have talked to several people who know both of them , and 100% of them say that there is nothing between them and hasn't been, since the divorce.
I have no intention of monitoring her behavior, so I have adopted a "wait and see" attitude, for the foreseeable future, until I am satisfied that everything is as she has said.
That is good. I am glad that things work out for you.
I believe the bolded. MOST divorced people can have a working relationship if there are kids involved, but I highly doubt most divorced folks still have feelings for each other. Wait and see attitude is good and I am sure you have a good woman there. Love is hard to come by, don't obsessee over the small stuff.
The visual you gave us has been incredible. A sexy lady with a backless gown. Woohoo, That sounds very very NICE!
I wish you some good luck and all the best things in life.
I asked her about she and I having a FWB relationship for the time being, and she agreed, but was not happy about it, but understands that she has to rebuild trust, so she is OK with it , as a temporary situation, but not as a long term solution.
Didn't read any of that but I'll respond to the thread title:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Boxer101
My GF still cares for her Ex.
She's not completely over her ex and she will probably cheat on you, if you're exclusive with her that is. Whether she's not over her ex because of your lack of game or because his game was just simply more "superior" doesn't matter, the point is she is only about 49% interested in you.
Either forgive her and work on getting back to a good point in your relationship or leave her. I'm starting to feel sorry for this woman. I would not be willing to demean myself and agree to a FWB situation so you could continue to have sex with me with no commitment while I have to get down on my knees everyday and grovel for your forgiveness. What she did was wrong, but geez.
Either forgive her and work on getting back to a good point in your relationship or leave her. I'm starting to feel sorry for this woman. I would not be willing to demean myself and agree to a FWB situation so you could continue to have sex with me with no commitment while I have to get down on my knees everyday and grovel for your forgiveness. What she did was wrong, but geez.
I agree 100% with this post. Good grief!
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