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Your girlfriend is a jerk. She does not respect you. I cannot believe a guy (a former FWB, no less) would kiss her on the lips right in front of you, and then glare at you. Wow. And then for her to think that that was okay??!!!
It's obvious she has been telling him negative stuff about you if he thought he could get away with that (and did).
You need to get rid of her. Stat!
Or we are pulling his man card.
If a girl I am dating kisses another man, and she doesn't react negatively, I'm going to either.
A) whip somebodies ass.
B) walk out and leave her there, especially if I drove, he can drive you home
Try to keep this short. I am a middle aged man with a girlfriend who is 7 years younger. I am not a big drinker (socially I have a couple) and do not understand the whole "party" thing. She drinks regularly (a couple every night) and gets drunk about once a month. I don't have a problem with this. BUT...months ago she asked me to go to the Casino with people she worked with to have dinner and gamble. Having been to the casino with my ex-wife, this sounded like fun. I expected to sit down for a nice dinner (maybe an hour) and then hit the floor to gamble. Didn't happen that way. We met the work friends at the bar. After TWO HOURS and many drinks on their part, we finally went to sit for dinner. After TWO MORE hours they are still sitting at the dinner table drinking.
I ask "honey, when do you think we are going to play the slots?" and she tells me, go get started I will find you. No big deal I think, I head out. AN HOUR later she comes up to me and says LETS GO! I ask what is up and she tells me "shutup I am not speaking to you!" and we head home. Silent ride the whole way and won't speak the next day. Finally she talks and tells me I disrespected her in front of her friends by not drinking with them for hours and being in a hurry to play the slots. I explained I thought THEY were unreasonable spending that much time at bar/dinner, but she blames me. Tells me she will never take me with company people again.
Fast forward six months. She tells me they are going to the casino and I am not invited because "I don't know how to behave". I don't argue and let her go. Comes home much later than she said she would and is obviously intoxicated and rubs it in what a good time she had.
Next, she tells me she is going to a Crab Feed. She can't take me cause I will make a scene. I ask if she is ever going to get over this BS and she says "I am over it...I will just never take you around the people I work with again!".
Then came the Christmas party where she HAD to take me. She sat me down like a six year old and told me I had to keep my mouth shut, go with the flow and please don't embarrass her. We go, I play the game, talk to everyone and it is all good. They ask me why I never come out with them and I tell them "oh you would have to ask her that" and left it go. At the end of the party this guy she works with who was there with his girlfriend, walks up and give her a huge hug and then kisses her on the mouth like a lover, right in front of me and they tell each other "Merry Christmas" and he glares at me and walks out with a bewildered looking girlfriend.
She tells me I "did good" and thanks me for behaving. I ask what was up with the hug and kiss deal and she says "oh you make to much out of things" we have been friends for years and blows it off. I originally assumed I was not taken because I am "no fun" as she says, but now I have to wonder if this guys isn't an "at work" boyfriend. They text each other dirty jokes all the timeand she has made comments to her girlfriends with me present how nice he is and she lights up when he calls about business on the phone and has a cute little nickname for him. I have commented and she tells me to get over myself. "Punkin" is just a friend....they used to "hang out" together. Yeah, Right.
I am really wondering about this guy, and kind of annoyed about not being included in functions with people from the company because I don't drink in excess and don't know how to party, as she puts it.
I did ask her bosses wife who I get along with, but doesn't like her and would tell me, if there was anything between her and this guy and she said she didn't think there was, but they had "history" before. I ask exactly what kind of history and she said she they were FWB at one point a couple years ago, but it "didn't work out".
Am I reading to much into this? Should I be upset she won't take me? I truly am not a partier and don't enjoy it like her. We get along great other than when these outings occur and it is the only time I feel left out or weird about our relationship. I take her everywhere with me, company people or not.
Would this be a deal breaker for you? Would you consider ending a relationship if your spouse/girlfriend excluded you from functions with co-workers? Curious?
I don't buy any of this.
And if it were real, you should lose your man card.
A kiss is honestly nothing. I have a couple female friends I kiss good bye, especially after everyone's been drinking, and yes on the lips. Why didn't you socialize with her coworkers originally, at the casino? You didn't have to drink, just talk and be friendly with people. Crying "when are we going to the slots?" Makes you sound like a wussbox, no offense.
Also I imagine at this point the sex is really good, it usually is with younger chicks, don't dump her, just be more social.
A kiss is honestly nothing. I have a couple female friends I kiss good bye, especially after everyone's been drinking, and yes on the lips.
In front of their boyfriends??!!
I don't know any man who would just sit there and take that. There would definitely be a fight or a breakup of that relationship among the couples I know.
Try to keep this short. I am a middle aged man with a girlfriend who is 7 years younger. I am not a big drinker (socially I have a couple) and do not understand the whole "party" thing. She drinks regularly (a couple every night) and gets drunk about once a month. I don't have a problem with this. BUT...months ago she asked me to go to the Casino with people she worked with to have dinner and gamble. Having been to the casino with my ex-wife, this sounded like fun. I expected to sit down for a nice dinner (maybe an hour) and then hit the floor to gamble. Didn't happen that way. We met the work friends at the bar. After TWO HOURS and many drinks on their part, we finally went to sit for dinner. After TWO MORE hours they are still sitting at the dinner table drinking.
I ask "honey, when do you think we are going to play the slots?" and she tells me, go get started I will find you. No big deal I think, I head out. AN HOUR later she comes up to me and says LETS GO! I ask what is up and she tells me "shutup I am not speaking to you!" and we head home. Silent ride the whole way and won't speak the next day. Finally she talks and tells me I disrespected her in front of her friends by not drinking with them for hours and being in a hurry to play the slots. I explained I thought THEY were unreasonable spending that much time at bar/dinner, but she blames me. Tells me she will never take me with company people again.
She's blaming you for taking HER up on HER suggestion that you go out and start playing the slots, and the groups will catch up with you when they're ready? All you did was follow her suggestion. I wanted to point that out. It means you can't win with this woman. She lays traps for you, then blames you for falling into them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sage 80;
Your girlfriend is a jerk. She does not respect you. I cannot believe a guy (a former FWB, no less) would kiss her on the lips right in front of you, and then glare at you. Wow. And then for her to think that that was okay??!!!
And have "cute little nicknames" for him??!! Do you even have to wonder what kind of an idiot she is?
It's obvious she has been telling him negative stuff about you if he thought he could get away with that (and did).
OP is coming off like a doormat. OP, how much shyt do you have to take before you kick her to the curb? Enough already. Do you live with this witch? Time to give her an eviction notice. You need to salvage your self respect.
I'm curious--if she doesn't respect you, and seems to have a thing going with her past FWB, why's she still with you? Do you live a classier lifestyle than she could ever afford? Do you spend money on her? If so, time to end the gravy train. Next time look for someone who isn't a heavy boozer.
Last edited by NewbiePoster; 10-02-2014 at 04:07 PM..
The choices are simple, Mr. Stress.
She wants to go out and party with the girls at work (and the guys who want to party just as hard.) Company functions are just an excuse. She obviously wants to make a display of some kind to impress a clique at the office. Eventually, she'll want to go out with the girls when there's no office involved, and probably is already doing this.
She is not going to be happy until you keep up with the rounds and get just as guzzy, and she already has a chip on her shoulder because you've already failed to impress with your lack for desire to gulp down a lot of liquor, a trait that, for whatever reason, is currently important to her socially.
To change her opinion of you as a fuddy-duddy, you will probably have to drink her under the table, then be able to be a real gentleman when you pour yourselves into a cab and get her home in time to hold her head to keep her hair out of the porcelain throne. Then feed her a muffin and an avocado in bed for breakfast the next morning.
That's one choice. Of course, if this impresses her, it will impress her office girlfriends too, so she'll probably get all jealous eventually, and the drama will just go into it's second act. But by then, you'll be a real swingin' dude, so you can do it all over again with a new face out of their crowd if you want. That will kick the drama up a notch or two for sure.
The other choice is to stay home, be a fuddy-duddy, and wait for her to grow up. It's probably going to be a long wait.
Last edited by banjomike; 10-02-2014 at 03:58 PM..
A breakup or a fight over a kiss goodbye? Who are your friends the Hell's Angels?
Breaking up with someone whose former FWB plants one on her lips in front of a group of friends, and then glares at the bf has nothing to do with the Hell's Angels. It's normal for there to be fallout from something like that. Ex-FWB was challenging the current bf. If that would be ok with you if someone did that, you're a wuss. But I don't believe you'd be ok with it.
The choices are simple, Mr. Stress.
She wants to go out and party with the girls (and the guys who want to party just as hard.)
She is not going to be happy until you keep up with the rounds and get just as guzzy, and she already has a chip on her shoulder because you've already failed to impress with your lack for desire to gulp down a lot of liquor, a trait that, for whatever reason, is currently important to her socially.
To change her opinion of you as a fuddy-duddy, you will probably have to drink her under the table, then be able to be a real gentleman when you pour yourselves into a cab and get her home in time to hold her head to keep her hair out of the porcelain throne. Then feed her a muffin and an avocado in bed for breakfast the next morning.
That's one choice. Of course, if this impresses her, it will impress her girlfriends too, so she'll probably get all jealous eventually, and the drama will just go into it's second act. But by then, you'll be a real swingin' dude, so you can do it all over again with a new face out of their crowd if you want. That will kick the drama up a notch or two for sure.
The other choice is to stay home, be a fuddy-duddy, and wait for her to grow up. It's probably going to be a long wait, but you never know.
There's an obvious 3rd choice you're overlooking...
If you want to continue to be treated like a 4 year old who gets treats when they behave then stay with this woman otherwise walk away and find someone more compatible.
I personally would not tolerate being treated like a child and scolded like that.
She has zero self respect let alone any respect for you.
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