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This is true. I think that men should avoid women that give themselves away so freely. They are not long-term material, just like OP isn't. As I said before, the boyfriend here made a good, courageous decision. It's unfortunate that many other men don't make the same decision due to desperation.
Good and courageous? The guy is angry that she didn't put out fast enough for him as compared to someone else. You guys are ridiculous.
Good and courageous? The guy is angry that she didn't put out fast enough for him as compared to someone else. You guys are ridiculous.
She's trying to use this guy as a provider while quickly giving herself to the bad boys. It sounds to me like this guy has valid concerns for the future stability of this relationship.
She's trying to use this guy as a provider while quickly giving herself to the bad boys. It sounds to me like this guy has valid concerns for the future stability of this relationship.
"valid concerns for the future stability of this relationship"?? Do you even read the garbage you write? What in this scenario demonstrates instability, other than his own ego issues?
She's trying to use this guy as a provider while quickly giving herself to the bad boys. It sounds to me like this guy has valid concerns for the future stability of this relationship.
Good grief, what a load of utter crap. She has given no indication she's using her boyfriend and he's pissed because she made him wait a bit for sex. Talk about reading into something that doesn't exist. Are you that bitter that you have to twist every post to make the woman out to be the bad one?
This thread is a very common situation and I do understand the OP's reasoning of not wanting to sleep with a guy she's actually interested in dating right off the bat, yet sleeping with another guy just for "fun" and not thinking as much about it. From a guy's point of view, I certainly see what he's saying as well. The ol' "wow, she made me wait, but not him? Makes me seem like she really liked him, but I was just the 2nd choice..."
When I was single, most of my first or second dates ended up with sex. A lot of the time I seriously had to ask myself, "is this how every one of her first dates goes?" If we sleep together, then she falls madly in love, it makes her seem a bit desperate.. Of course, some we slept together right away and got along fine after.. Just depends on each circumstance.
If a girl genuinely wanted to wait, I certainly respected that she wasn't as promiscuous as these other women were. Also, that way if I wasn't interested in her, I would end things instead of continuing them on just for sex. If a girl slept with me on the first date, and I decided I wasn't interested in her, they'd often get mad like I just "used" them. Ummm, sorry, if you put out on the first date how am I supposed to know if I want to keep seeing you, regardless of the sex? If they think that will make me like them moreso, well, that's their own problem as well.
So to put it into layman's terms, you used to bang dudes that "didn't mean anything" to you (your words), your boyfriend just discovered from someone else about the other dude in question from your past, and you want to make everything "right"?
I wish it was your boyfriend who started this thread instead, because I really don't have any advice for you. As for your boyfriend, my advice to him would be to think twice about what he's about to get himself into by shacking up with you. By your own admission you were a pass-around party girl in your past who enjoyed meaningless sex with men you barely knew, nor felt anything for. Now you're starting to worry about things like financial security, domestic stability and possibly starting a family one day. You're thinking that your current boyfriend might make a suitable candidate for a first husband, but you're not quite sure so you've decided to "test the waters" first, by living together. I'd bet my bottom dollar that you were the one who initiated the idea of sharing a living space with this young man. Good for you! You go Grrrrrrl!
Of course, you'll most likely omit the story of your eyes falling upon these words I've written, just like you omitted the tale of your lurid, brief affair with Superdong from your boyfriend.....So I've just wasted my breath here, but whatever.
I read about one guy. Where did the "pass-around party girl" come from?
My boyfriend and I have been together for almost half a year. Recently we started to talk about moving in together and getting serious. Yay!!! Anyway to make a long story short, he recently was told that I was with a guy he's heard of. That guy has a rep and it's not good. He asked me if we dated and I said yes but that it didn't mean anything and was for a really short period of time. Of course he asked if I slept with him. I didn't want to lie so I said yes but again emphasized that it didn't mean anything. He then asked why we waited a while to get intimate and again I was truthful and told him I thought what we have is special and really meaningful so I didn't want to jump into "things" quickly.
He just doesn't seem to get this. He sees it sort of opposite and feels weird. I don't know how else to explain it to him. To the guys here, is this how guys think? Also, to the women here, how can I better explain it to him? It's sort of started to affect us and I want him and me to be like before.
Yes, many guys think this way, and it's natural. We think "well, if I'm so "special" why did she wait to be intimate with me, but gave it to that dbag right away"?
It f***'s with a guy's mind pretty hard.
Women sometimes see the logic in the OP's mindset, but guys usually don't. We think "if you like us, you should want to have sex with us".
I'm not sure, no I don't think that way. We all have one night stands and short flings just to get back in the swing of things. You obviously wanted this guy to think more of you.
My opinion is, he sees this guy as better looking then him, or possibly having a better game, so its a threat to his masculinity. I don't think thats any reason to do anything rash with your current boyfriend, but my advice is to put on some sexy nighty and do something extra special for him tonight that you don't normally do with other guys. Make him feel special, throw some of that loud loving on him.
That seems reasonable. I think the best way to "make it up to him" (regardless of the reason, as I said in my last post, I completely understand how he feels) is to kick up the intimacy a bit.
I haven't read through all 12 pages. Has anyone told the OP that their relationship is doomed and not to date within the same general circle for this reason?
I agree friends or associates dating each others ex's can cause major problems, but I don't think the OP knew that the two men involved knew each other.
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The guy is angry that she didn't put out fast enough for him as compared to someone else. You guys are ridiculous. 
