Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Below are highlights of an interaction I've been having with a girl at work. I just got out of a long term relationship FYSA.
Sent her joking email (Company/work email). An hour later she starts coming by to talk to me two days in a row (then the weekend came).
-First time she was extremely nervous the first few minutes, arms and legs held tight to her chest at first after sitting in chair in my office (talks to me a min first, then sits down), then started to unravel as she got more comfortable, going out of her way to turn her body toward me after I mentioned that I read other peoples body language a couple times. Was starting to flirt with her. She brings up shes considered moving out of state since there there is nothing (as in no one here for her here). Recently divorced...reacts positively when my body language indicates I get the hint....
-See each other in the hallway nextday, and she is holding eye contact the entire time I am standing there as she walks by (as am I) and we both smile at each other and she even makes her eyes big in a playful way as if to let me know she sees me holding eye contact..
-Second time, also next day, stops by my desk again, less nervous, but still shaking hands and jaw. we flirt again, I turn up the flirting. She sits in chair after first minute or so. She is laughing at all my jokes hard. Tells me she is back to her old office other building Monday....
-Monday she walks by my desk to get a couple binders out of her temporary office to take back to her original office. She had actually told me Friday she was going to be back at her old desk on Monday. Could be coincidence, but I think it was letting me know where I could find her Monday.
-So Monday I stop by her office and ask her if she's busy, she says of course I'm busy why, I said let's go for a walk, so she says I always have time for YOU (with the inflection). I was like, oh, is that so.
-We go for a walk, and I'm laying the flirting on THICK and she is eating it up.
-An hour or so after the walk, she walks by my desk and makes eyes contact with a smile and when I look at her she raises her eyebrows and then drops them (as if saying hey...). I'm thinking, she liked the earlier interaction....
-Well, today I invited her out for another walk today and she declined. Yikes. Gonna be awkward for a while now. She seemed interested, and might still be, but I don't know. Personally I wonder if she is either playing hard to get (all the signs after the walk were positive) or this was her way of getting power back since I had not made a move a long time ago when she had shown interest. She seems like the type. First time in a looong time I tried to flirt with someone at work. Usually not an issue. What gets me is the strong signs of interest and now sooo cold. She was like no I'm good thanks. Ouch. Either she is playing hard to get or?
-Crap, I noticed one of the girls in the office whom I don't even like had waved at me when she walked by today. She actually stopped and turned to me and waved. She's attractive but I have no interest nor do I flirt with her at all. Of course the girl I am interested in doesn't know that. But guess who was walking just 10 yards behind her. Yep, I wonder if she thought I was a player. I know her ex husband was cheating on her, so she is sensitive to that more than likely. Yikes. Could be a total misunderstanding. I had wondered what she thought of that. I didn't even wave back. Crap. What a misunderstanding if this is what happened to turn her off. I thought about it at the time and was worried, and now I'm thinking this MUST be it.
She was nervous and interested, flirting back hard and showing a lot of interest overtly, and now so cold? I don't think it was anything during our walk since she showed signs of interest up until she saw that girl wave at me. I didn't even wave back, not that sge could see THAT from where she was.
She was nervous and interested, flirting back hard and showing a lot of interest overtly, and now so cold? I don't think it was anything during our walk since she showed signs of interest up until she saw that girl wave at me. I didn't even wave back, not that sge could see THAT from where she was.
I don't think it was the wave or salutation from the other co-worker.
Speaking generally, the use of the phrase 'I'm good' is (contrary to the language) a bad sign. She didn't give a reason for her denial (too busy, etc.) or suggest a follow-up (how 'bout tomorrow?, etc.) so it's less likely that she wanted to go but circumstances (not enough time, etc.) prevented her.
You should play it cool and limit the amount that you initiate with her today or tomorrow. If she initiates dialogue with you and it's flirtatious, that's a good sign. If she doesn't initiate with you, then you may want to initiate a chat with her Friday (bringing up the weekend, plans, etc. could be useful to see if she suggests getting together). If she's standoffish the next time you initiate a discussion with her, then it's probably best to back off and see if she'll return to chatting with you.
Maybe she drinks A LOT of coffee, lol. Yeah, I never saw someone's jaw quiver other than someone getting ready to cry. But who knows, I suppose people could be that nervous.
Anyway OP, you didn't say "why" she declined. Maybe she was busy, not feeling well, was wearing uncomfortable shoes, had cramps... who knows. I wouldn't read too much into it.
Although I would agree with Timberline that flirting and such at work is playing with fire. Or a better way of saying it, don't "poop" where you eat. Granted, some people do find love at work and such, so it's a matter of opinion on if it's a good thing to do or not. It's up to you of course, I just wanted to give a warning that it could end badly.
She was nervous and interested, flirting back hard and showing a lot of interest overtly, and now so cold? I don't think it was anything during our walk since she showed signs of interest up until she saw that girl wave at me. I didn't even wave back, not that sge could see THAT from where she was.
Ask her.
"Hey..the other day you said you always have time for a walk and now you just don't say anything. Is there something I did or said that upset you?"
If you don't get an honest answer out of her then there is no reason to continue on. People who get mad and never explain why will give you a lifetime of pain.
uuh la la another work spot romance,,, what ever you think cannot be exactly it or right. Just ask her what is wrong why she is ignoring you. well better than your own assumptions right?
This all sounds normal to me. Normal work flirting where you are CLEARLY in to each other then it dives off a cliff. As far as I can tell you're free to have a super limited relationship that will ultimately become boring fast.
Why don't you just ask her out on a date, not another walk at work? Maybe she just thinks you're playing games because you haven't asked her out after 3 or 4 interactions?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
