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So I'm pretty new to this but will try to get back to the point. I'm a lawyer that passed the bar not too long ago and was able to get a pretty sweet gig. I have a long term gf who I've been with for 4 years whom I planned to officially propose to during the winter holidays. With my new financial freedom I decided to help her get a new car (MB), mind you I drive a simple Nissan. Anyway, we get into a fight last weekend (where she is undoubtedly in the wrong) and instead of making things right and admitting she messed up she wants to split. So now we have the car in her name, which I intended to pay for, that she wants me to take back while blaming me for her financial burden. I think she's spoiled and once she terminated the relationship I no longer assume any responsibility for the car. Please give me some feedback.
I'm a big fan of avoiding financial dependence on anyone but myself. Other people should probably take the same advice, but sometimes love makes you lose sight of the inevitable end of a mediocre relationship (if it weren't subpar, you two would have better conflict resolution skills and would have found a compromise to this argument you had).
She shouldn't have put her name on the car if you were offering to pay, but since she did the responsibility is on her to find a way to pay or to sell it. Or, since you mention she's now driving an upgraded model from your vehicle, trade the two and let her have your old ride for a used price while you get the new MB.
What do you mean by she wants you to "take it back"? Like keep it yourself and pay for it?
I think if she cannot afford the car, she should sell it immediately for whatever it is worth. If she owes more than it is worth, perhaps the two of you should discuss where that money will come from. If it is in her name, it is on her. But, if you talked her into a more expensive car than she planned to buy for herself, saying you would help pay for it, then it seems fair for you to help her get out from under it.
An attorney who just passed the bar will likely have a mountain of debt and the income isn't that good until you have proven himself. The money isn't as impressive as percieved.
If it is in her name, it is on her. But, if you talked her into a more expensive car than she planned to buy for herself, saying you would help pay for it, then it seems fair for you to help her get out from under it.
I agree it would be a gentlemanly move on OP's part to help arrange a way for her to get rid of the car so it doesn't leave her with a financial burden (on top of the end of the relationship), but it sounds like doing that may enable spoiled tendencies down the road. I'm kind of siding with the option of letting this be a serious life lesson to her about considering risk, trust, and personal finances before letting someone dump a car on her. If he fixes this for her she may let the next guy put a mortgage on her name after he woos her and promises he'll pay it off because they're meant to be together.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SD4020
An attorney who just passed the bar will likely have a mountain of debt and the income isn't that good until you have proven himself. The money isn't as impressive as percieved.
I have trouble believing the account of the op.
Ding ding ding. If he's telling the truth, I don't have a hard time believing these are two young people that haven't grasped financially sound decision making and the importance of paying off those loans before buying things like new cars. I see it all the time with grads my age that land a high-paying job out of school.
I agree it would be a gentlemanly move on OP's part to help arrange a way for her to get rid of the car so it doesn't leave her with a financial burden (on top of the end of the relationship), but it sounds like doing that may enable spoiled tendencies down the road. I'm kind of siding with the option of letting this be a serious life lesson to her about considering risk, trust, and personal finances before letting someone dump a car on her. If he fixes this for her she may let the next guy put a mortgage on her name after he woos her and promises he'll pay it off because they're meant to be together.
Ding ding ding. If he's telling the truth, I don't have a hard time believing these are two young people that haven't grasped financially sound decision making and the importance of paying off those loans before buying things like new cars. I see it all the time with grads my age that land a high-paying job out of school.
I agree, if he is telling a true story, that is a foolish decision. Notwithstaing the dynamics of the relationship.
I'm a big fan of avoiding financial dependence on anyone but myself. Other people should probably take the same advice, but sometimes love makes you lose sight of the inevitable end of a mediocre relationship (if it weren't subpar, you two would have better conflict resolution skills and would have found a compromise to this argument you had).
She shouldn't have put her name on the car if you were offering to pay, but since she did the responsibility is on her to find a way to pay or to sell it. Or, since you mention she's now driving an upgraded model from your vehicle, trade the two and let her have your old ride for a used price while you get the new MB.
I guess, but we were supposed to be relocating as an engaged couple this Jan. She is completely bugging out about this situation because she thinks I'm "parenting" her when she does wrong. Last wknd, we invited my friends to spend the wknd with us and she was giving this dude at the bar too much attention ( gave him a joking booty shake and he grabbed her ass). Def not cool and I let her know. She got upset and embarrassed and left us in the new mercedes I just helped her get. Had to pay $100 for a cab ride to find out she wasn't home but claims to have slept at her moms house. My keys were in her car so I also had to put everyone in the hotel for the night.Now we have a HUGE issue.So considering her actions I don't see how I can just say "yeah I'll take care of the payments, go out and enjoy life" lol.
I agree it would be a gentlemanly move on OP's part to help arrange a way for her to get rid of the car so it doesn't leave her with a financial burden (on top of the end of the relationship), but it sounds like doing that may enable spoiled tendencies down the road. I'm kind of siding with the option of letting this be a serious life lesson to her about considering risk, trust, and personal finances before letting someone dump a car on her. If he fixes this for her she may let the next guy put a mortgage on her name after he woos her and promises he'll pay it off because they're meant to be together.
I agree she made a bad decision when she bought a car she can't afford in her name, relying on someone else to pay for it. Hopefully she won't make this mistake again.
I am just wondering, because of how it was phrased, if he encouraged her to go for a new Mercedes. Will you tell us, OP? How did this go down? Was she planning to buy a used Toyota and you said "Oh baby, let's get you a nice new Mercedes"? Or did she suggest to you that you help pay for a new Mercedes she wanted?
I also worked multiple jobs to pay for school and have no debt or loans.
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