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So I finally have a date set up for myself on Saturday. I've already had coffee with her once and we ended it with a hug. The thing is this is going to be a more "traditional" date. I'll pick her up, we'll go out, and then I'll drop her off. The question is however, when do I kiss her? I'm sure you all know that I'm a virgin. I'm not sure if I've ever mentioned however, that I've never actually kissed a girl on the lips before. So say the date is over, or even during the actual date when she is expecting a kiss, do I just lean in and go for it and risk that I may screw it up? Or do I tell her that I've never kissed a girl before, inevitably revealing that I'm a virgin as well, information that I haven't shared with her yet. So far she thinks I'm just a normal guy with experience like everybody else.
I know all this sounds horribly pathetic. I sound like a middle school boy rather than a 26 year old man. Unfortunately it's the situation I'm in.
I know all this sounds horribly pathetic. I sound like a middle school boy rather than a 26 year old man. Unfortunately it's the situation I'm in.
This ^^^ attitude has to go. Just stop.
It is what it is.You are not obligated to tell anybody anything about your history.
Anyway, don't think about it as something you have to check off a list, or it will be horribly awkward. A kiss needs to come out of feelings that you are having.
IF during the date you are close together and you feel some sexual attraction, and there is a private moment when you might want to lean in, you could do that. But that is kind of an advanced move.
I would just wait till the end of the date and do it at the goodbye. Walk with your arm around her, and lean in and kiss her. Try not to think about it during the date or you will psych yourself out.
So I finally have a date set up for myself on Saturday. I've already had coffee with her once and we ended it with a hug. The thing is this is going to be a more "traditional" date. I'll pick her up, we'll go out, and then I'll drop her off. The question is however, when do I kiss her?
Worst case at the moment right before she is about to leave your car or you are at her door, hold her hand and then lean in and kiss her. I would ask if I had to, but I wouldn't mention that it's my first.
Imo keep in mind the fear of inaction should be dramatically worse, do not let that happen. Needing to ask is WAYY better than not kissing, not kissing means it's over.
Last edited by OvernightDelivery; 11-25-2014 at 10:38 AM..
It is what it is.You are not obligated to tell anybody anything about your history.
Anyway, don't think about it as something you have to check off a list, or it will be horribly awkward. A kiss needs to come out of feelings that you are having.
IF during the date you are close together and you feel some sexual attraction, and there is a private moment when you might want to lean in, you could do that. But that is kind of an advanced move.
I would just wait till the end of the date and do it at the goodbye. Walk with your arm around her, and lean in and kiss her. Try not to think about it during the date or you will psych yourself out.
I agree with this to the fullest.
You need to quit thinking of relationships and feelings as some kind of milestone you have to hit. They aren't. Regardless of how many people will try to tell you that. Feelings and love are things that come when they want to. They are BEYOND a lot of things people will try to tell you about them. You cannot force it, no matter how much you want to. Who cares if you are 26 and a virgin? IT DOES NOT MATTER. If that person really likes YOU, they wouldn't give two about it.
Do it when it feels right, because even when the "signs" are supposedly there, they can be misleading.
I can't tell you how to initiate it, mine, I usually set it up with a line like: "you have really pretty eyes", something lame but in the moment, sweet and short, and then look at her and lean in. It works every time.
What I can assuredly tell you is that you have to go in with confidence - don't go in weak or it'll feel akward and she may sense, it and then pull away.
Go in semi-quick, quick enough that she doesn't have a split second to second guess herself, but slow enough that you're not ramming your lips onto hers.
Good luck, I was a late bloomer myself - kissed a lot of girls since and enjoyed... most of em.
Btw - make sure your breadth is good to go beforehand.
When are you going to change your attitude instead of dancing around the major issue of your insecurities? Auraliea's right when she says you shouldn't think of your love life as hitting milestones. First kiss, first grope, first sex, etc. You're going about this in a way that puts you on a circle of anxiety and fear and you're going to be a virgin for the next 26 years if you don't realize your outlook hasn't gotten you anywhere intimate yet.
Have you considered it's your attitude that's gotten you in this predicament? Women can smell it on you from a mile away and it's not appealing.
Have you considered it's your attitude that's gotten you in this predicament? Women can smell it on you from a mile away and it's not appealing.
You're only confirming that he has something to be worried about. If it was just something to be done with obviously he'd have just payed for it or lowered his standards.
I don't even have confidence doing the simplest things even when I have the instructions and seen a youtube of it so long as I've never technically done it myself before.
like Auraliea and Wmsn4Life said, you need to stop obsessing over this one point, otherwise you will stress yourself out and ruin the date. this, like initiating sex, is an area where you have to take your time and take what she is willing to give.
if there is a point during the date, or at the end, when you feel a kiss is warranted, and would be accepted, start by very gently touching her cheek, and using a LIGHT TOUCH, draw her towards you while you SLOWLY lean in towards her. if she resists, STOP and go no further. do not however pull back suddenly, just stay like you are as she may change her mind.
but again what ever you do, DO NOT force the issue.
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about it. 
