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This theory is going to sound like it hits the nail on the head to younger, successful, single guys who are happy, or guys who have had an ugly divorce.
Conversely, it is going to sound like a complete load of BS to married guys who are very happy and content in their marriages, or guys who wish they were married (and yes many guys do want to be married).
At the end of the day, it is an opinion some will agree with and some won't... and ultimately it is just a load of BS designed to stir the pot between these two groups.
If you change your terms, that's like my opinion on literally everything.
I have the perspective of being on both sides of the fence (but from a woman's PoV). Before I was married I had money. I was able to save, go on vacations, do what I wanted. When I was married and miserable. I worked full time and was the housemaid, gardener, lawn cutter, repair person, everything... my Ex did nothing around the house except once in a while pick up sticks for me so I could mow. We also never had any money, despite having two incomes. Ex was a spendthrift. I am single now again and back where I was before. My life is easier, more comfortable, my house stays clean so I have a lot less housework and laundry to do, I have money again for vacations, things I want, etc (no, I don't get alimony--it's just my salary and investment income). The stress of marriage is gone and I am much happier. I am wary about re-marriage because I don't want to end up like an indentured servant again. And like what was quoted, as I get older, while I do think about the exceptional man who can change my mind on re-marriage, the "quality" of available single men who would be desirable husbands seems to be going down too as they age.
Then you married the wrong woman. All of these things should be visible before you get married Spendthrift - look at her shopping habits and what she expect from gifts and a date housework - normally before you get married you will live together. In that period you can see if she takes part of the housework. And it should be from her own initiative, not something you force her to. In fact your situation is very different from the average marriage. In most marriages, woman are doing a larger share of the house work.
It all depends on who you marry. If your finances, and work load detoriate when you marry, then you have married the wrong person. The average male bachelor earns 42K. The average household income for working married families is 90K. They also live 4 years longer. For a lot of people the situation is totally opposite of yours. Outside marriage they become irresponsible, but in a marriage they become much more responsible because they have someone to push them in the right direction.
This theory is going to sound like it hits the nail on the head to younger, successful, single guys who are happy, or guys who have had an ugly divorce.
Conversely, it is going to sound like a complete load of BS to married guys who are very happy and content in their marriages, or guys who wish they were married (and yes many guys do want to be married).
At the end of the day, it is an opinion some will agree with and some won't... and ultimately it is just a load of BS designed to stir the pot between these two groups.
Well, there's that....
Smart people make life decisions for themselves not based on pressure from family, peer pressure, or a desire to fit into a certain group. Whatever the decision, doesn't really matter, as long as you're making the right one for you.
Then you married the wrong woman. All of these things should be visible before you get married Spendthrift - look at her shopping habits and what she expect from gifts and a date housework - normally before you get married you will live together. In that period you can see if she takes part of the housework. And it should be from her own initiative, not something you force her to. In fact your situation is very different from the average marriage. In most marriages, woman are doing a larger share of the house work.
It all depends on who you marry. If your finances, and work load detoriate when you marry, then you have married the wrong person. The average male bachelor earns 42K. The average household income for working married families is 90K. They also live 4 years longer. For a lot of people the situation is totally opposite of yours. Outside marriage they become irresponsible, but in a marriage they become much more responsible because they have someone to push them in the right direction.
I was the wife... just an FYI
But it's all the same. I made mistakes because you are right, he was a financial wreck before I married him. I bailed him out of all his credit card debt when we were engaged (that sort of thing). I let my love for him blind me to red flags. We didn't live together prior either. He lived in barracks. Still don't think I ever want to marry again. I tend to like to be a people pleaser and it's easy for me to become a doormat around a man I love (if he's inclined to use me as a doormat). It's a personality flaw of mine I suppose.
As was stated in a popular sitcom a few years ago, if a guy has a girl he can have sex with and can afford a housekeeper there is no need for him to marry.
In a recent Article written by an ex hospice nurse in a senior home, she wrote some of the most common things people say before they died. Living a very simple life was one of them.
We all have the right to interpret this as we'd like. IMO, marriage is more work than i feel i need to take in my life.
I do think its ridiculous however that some women have a problem with a man voicing this. They just cant accept this. If youre a younger person reading this, believe me, it has nothing do with being a man child, growing up or whatever term women decide to call it.
Be yourself. Men should NOT be defined by the expectations of women. its your world. Live your life the way you want.
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