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I just feel like there's this myth around CD that women never get ghosted or flaked out on and it's not true at all. That dating is easy for us. Getting dates is pretty easy if you are halfway good looking, but finding a decent person who actually wants the same things you do? Just as hard for women.
I 100% agree with this. I'm certainly not on my "man hate" pedestal but dating is not all it is cracked up to be. First of all, majority of the messages I receive from men online are something like "Hey gorgeous", "Hi" and "Hey girl". I'm sorry, but if you aren't able to read my profile and form a few sentences that sound like you are actually interested in me as a person, I'm not interested. Sorry - but that's me.
Secondly, guys poof just as much, if not more than men. For example, I reached out to this guy online at the beginning of the summer. We exchanged a few emails but I saw that my interest was obviously much higher than his so when he didn't respond to my last email, I dropped it. A few months later, he reaches back out to me and when I called him out on his disappearing act, he gave me some excuses about how he just moved here, blah blah (Um me too, bud. I moved here a month after he did). We went out on a date and talked for 3 hours straight. I'm really good at reading people and I certainly felt that he was interested. But when I reached out to HIM to ask if he wanted to go bowling or play pool, he didn't even acknowledge my text. I at least tell the guy I'm not interested. He was such a coward that he just ignored me.
I don't think that either sex has it particularly easy. Sometimes they just have different obstacles that they face. You have to admit, though, that guys have an extra layer of difficulty added on by the fact that they usually have to do the pursuing. For some, like me, that's a gigantic obstacle because we've faced so much rejection already that it has killed our motivation to pursue any longer. I feel like I have a lot to offer, but I'm at point now where I think that nobody deserves what I have to offer. So why put in the effort to pursue them?
That's true. But as one of my past girlfriends told me, "at least you get to pick and choose, we have have to go with what we get, and the pool is not always good." Different issues but same basic problem. If you put the shoe on the other foot, guys are choosy too and don't always like their choices.
He didn't say he was fed up with rate. He said the dates weren't panning out.
Guys like me feel like human garbage thanks to essentially no replies.
Unfortunately, it doesn't work out for everyone, but I know people who have met their spouses online. I know an awkward girl who was having zero success who just recently met an equally awkward guy who she's excited about. So if you're truly fed up, give up...but you never know what might happen if you stick with it.
I 100% agree with this. I'm certainly not on my "man hate" pedestal but dating is not all it is cracked up to be. First of all, majority of the messages I receive from men online are something like "Hey gorgeous", "Hi" and "Hey girl". I'm sorry, but if you aren't able to read my profile and form a few sentences that sound like you are actually interested in me as a person, I'm not interested. Sorry - but that's me.
Secondly, guys poof just as much, if not more than men. For example, I reached out to this guy online at the beginning of the summer. We exchanged a few emails but I saw that my interest was obviously much higher than his so when he didn't respond to my last email, I dropped it. A few months later, he reaches back out to me and when I called him out on his disappearing act, he gave me some excuses about how he just moved here, blah blah (Um me too, bud. I moved here a month after he did). We went out on a date and talked for 3 hours straight. I'm really good at reading people and I certainly felt that he was interested. But when I reached out to HIM to ask if he wanted to go bowling or play pool, he didn't even acknowledge my text. I at least tell the guy I'm not interested. He was such a coward that he just ignored me.
There could be 100 reasons he did that. I've done that to women before, not very much, but it's happened. It was either because another girl was in the picture I was more interested in, or for whatever reason I just didn't want to pursue things further - wasn't ready, something else in my life taking higher priority, maybe just laziness.
It does go both ways since women probably have similar reasons.
There could be 100 reasons he did that. I've done that to women before, not very much, but it's happened. It was either because another girl was in the picture I was more interested in, or for whatever reason I just didn't want to pursue things further - wasn't ready, something else in my life taking higher priority, maybe just laziness.
It does go both ways since women probably have similar reasons.
And all those reasons are fine - at least have the decency to say that. Don't tell the person you'd be interested in hanging out again and then when they reach out, ignore them.
I 100% agree with this. I'm certainly not on my "man hate" pedestal but dating is not all it is cracked up to be. First of all, majority of the messages I receive from men online are something like "Hey gorgeous", "Hi" and "Hey girl". I'm sorry, but if you aren't able to read my profile and form a few sentences that sound like you are actually interested in me as a person, I'm not interested. Sorry - but that's me.
I put time and effort into each of my messages. It obviously didn't matter. Still single here.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sweetjess1951
Secondly, guys poof just as much, if not more than men. For example, I reached out to this guy online at the beginning of the summer. We exchanged a few emails but I saw that my interest was obviously much higher than his so when he didn't respond to my last email, I dropped it. A few months later, he reaches back out to me and when I called him out on his disappearing act, he gave me some excuses about how he just moved here, blah blah (Um me too, bud. I moved here a month after he did). We went out on a date and talked for 3 hours straight. I'm really good at reading people and I certainly felt that he was interested. But when I reached out to HIM to ask if he wanted to go bowling or play pool, he didn't even acknowledge my text. I at least tell the guy I'm not interested. He was such a coward that he just ignored me.
I went out with a girl late in the summer. She actually was one of the few that reached out to me first. We set up a first date after a few message exchanges. I had to cancel on the first date because we had a going away party for one of our directors that I wasn't informed of until the day before. She seemed to handle it well. So after a week or so, I reached out to her again and asked if she wanted to go out again. So we agreed to meet for coffee. I thought the date went fine. I messaged her the next day and didn't hear back for an entire day. Messaged her back to see if she wanted to go out again and never heard from her. This was VERY typical of my experience with OKC. That's why responses, IMO, mean very little in the grand scheme of things.
He was mashing yes on everyone, and re-upping his profile for a second run at things . Way more time efficient since women no the majority of guys.
You have to reset your profile every once in a while. People are making swipe left/right decisions in less than 1 second typically. I swipe right on most, but not all profiles and even then, sometimes I mistakenly swipe left on someone I didn't mean to and I think "damn!" If you show up *again* the same person may spend 1.7 seconds instead of .8 deciding and swipe right.
Plus there has to be something about Tinder's algorithm that favors new entrants. I always get a slew of matches, like 15-20, 4 or 5 per day for the first few days then only about 1 a week after that. I also get a slew of matches when I go to a different location.
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