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I think I got number 1 down, but maybe it's number 2 that I'm struggling with. I come from a pretty average, blue-collar family, so much of my life is that; average. I have plenty of accomplishments that I'm proud of in my life. I think I'm pretty funny, if you get my sense of humor (think Stephen Colbert and Steve Carell). And I'm definitely sociable despite being nervous in some rowdy social environments. But I fight through it and put myself out there.
Often times, I feel like I come up short with so many people my age who come from a better socio-economic background. They've traveled the world with family. They've bought their first house (I'm still paying down student loans and saving for a house because I have no one to help me). They're involved with lots of activities, where I'm involved with a few but mostly my life is pretty routine (because I try to be financially responsible). It's probably all in my head, but sometimes I feel like this puts me at a pretty big disadvantage in the dating game, at least in terms of finding other people whom I'd like.
Your second paragraph is how I felt dating as well. My family wasn't even blue collar average either. My Dad went to prison when I was a kid, which none of the white kids at my school could relate too. Then add to the scenario that I'm a black kid, who's Dad went to prison, which clearly fits the stereotype. I, too, always felt a little at a disadvantage. Also, the guys I was "competing" with were getting the types of women that I wanted. The women that had a tendency to want me, came with some baggage I couldn't deal with.
Know what I did? I just elevated my game a little bit more. Instead of spending money on motorcycles and binge drinking on the weekend. I saved that money and put it into nice dress shoes and a more professional and put together work wardrobe. I volunteered more and I put myself in situations where I could be displayed as a leader. That's when those special women started paying more attention to me. Even if we never worked out romantically, I had them noticing me, which was a big ego boost for myself.
What I found out, is that even though I didn't come from a well to do family didn't mean that I still couldn't end up with the kind of woman I wanted. I just had to work a little bit harder than others to obtain it.
Your second paragraph is how I felt dating as well. My family wasn't even blue collar average either. My Dad went to prison when I was a kid, which none of the white kids at my school could relate too. Then add to the scenario that I'm a black kid, who's Dad went to prison, which clearly fits the stereotype. I, too, always felt a little at a disadvantage. Also, the guys I was "competing" with were getting the types of women that I wanted. The women that had a tendency to want me, came with some baggage I couldn't deal with.
Know what I did? I just elevated my game a little bit more. Instead of spending money on motorcycles and binge drinking on the weekend. I saved that money and put it into nice dress shoes and a more professional and put together work wardrobe. I volunteered more and I put myself in situations where I could be displayed as a leader. That's when those special women started paying more attention to me. Even if we never worked out romantically, I had them noticing me, which was a big ego boost for myself.
What I found out, is that even though I didn't come from a well to do family didn't mean that I still couldn't end up with the kind of woman I wanted. I just had to work a little bit harder than others to obtain it.
Wow, I'm sorry weezerfan, that must have been tough to deal with. Yet here you are, a reasonable, smart guy with his head screwed on. It's nice to see a broken upbringing can still produce a great guy.
Its the complete opposite in my city. I live in a big city and a lot of the women are so superficial. They definitely have the "barbie" look. I think I'm attractive but I'm more a guy's girl. I don't want to look perfect all the time. I want a day where I can look awful and my guy still finds me beautiful. Haha!
But those girls get all the attention until the guy finds out there is nothing else there other than looks.
Travel and Leisure ranked my city pretty high on the ugly list, and lots of the guys I've met and found attractive aren't originally from my city...sometimes not even from the US. But yeah, I guess it could also suck to live in a city that places a high emphasis on a certain type of look.
But the problem with only being attracted to or willing to go out with people you find hot is that most people aren't hot. At least not in my city.
Which brings up the whole minefield about what is attractive, anyway? Some people think that what is hot is subjective, like everyone should find the same person attractive. I know for myself that I've never dated anyone that I wasn't attracted to, but whether or not he made other women weak in the knees wasn't of interest to me.
Which brings up the whole minefield about what is attractive, anyway? Some people think that what is hot is subjective, like everyone would find the same person attractive. I know for myself that I've never dated anyone that I wasn't attracted to, but whether or not he made other women weak in the knees wasn't of interest to me.
Indeed. I think most women have their own idea what's attractive to them and what's not. You can't even get a consensus on movie stars or musicians. And tastes change over the years as well. It's not as if we're all looking for exactly the same guy.
Which brings up the whole minefield about what is attractive, anyway? Some people think that what is hot is subjective, like everyone would find the same person attractive. I know for myself that I've never dated anyone that I wasn't attracted to, but whether or not he made other women weak in the knees wasn't of interest to me.
My "hot" has changed over the years. I used to find the "bad boy" look attractive. Then I moved to the tall and built guy. Now I like the bearded look.
Which brings up the whole minefield about what is attractive, anyway? Some people think that what is hot is subjective, like everyone would find the same person attractive. I know for myself that I've never dated anyone that I wasn't attracted to, but whether or not he made other women weak in the knees wasn't of interest to me.
Have to agree. Some guys I liked others found ugly. But all I ask is that I find him decent - hot to look at. Apparently, that's asking too much though
Guys I have turned down, my mother thought were ok-looking-cute and that I should go for them because they're available, and I don't have guys banging down my door. But that was her taste, or trying to marry me off, who knows. When I looked, they weren't attractive to me, so I wasn't interested.
That's a problem with set-ups, and why I don't care for them. because people try to match you according to their tastes, and what they think you should have, not whether or not you will actually be interested.
Attractive chicks get hit on all the time, so waiting around for them to make the first move is like waiting on a winning lottery ticket to fly into your palms.
I'm against settling with an unattractive woman. If you get with a woman and try your best to look past your lack of attraction, you will not treat her right, Trust me. The best thing is to try to get someone with some attractive features and focus more on those and realize that nobody has it all.
Secondly, be happy with just being yourself, being alone. When you're happy with yourself and being alone, going out and doing the things you like to do, then you'll find women who are interested in the same things, and those who are attractive will find you intriguing because you are into the same things that they are.
As an introvert, I am content being myself and being alone. I have thrived on it for many years. But I've reached a point in my life where everything is falling into place: good job, good pay, fun hobbies, friends, etc. But, for the life of me, I can't figure the relationship part out. I'm not repulsive. I don't get it.
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