Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
If you are doing good on your own and want to stay independent and don't care if he's "away" then you might consider setting up a call girl agency. You will find the kind of man you are looking for and can leave the vulnerable nice guys alone.
signed,
slightly ticked off vet, partnered with a vet, together parents of 4 young military men
Did anybody find it ironic that the OP's screen-name is "BountyHunter"?
I noticed that right away. Ugh.
I am from a military family. I understand how a person can appreciate the military lifestyle and I also understand being drawn to a sort of "military mindset" as opposed to a "civilian mindset" if that makes sense. Even though I am no longer married to a military man, we have so many military family members that I am often "on post" visiting them or shopping with them or going to some sort of event, and without exception, when I drive onto the installation, I get a feeling of "home" even though I haven't been a military dependent for over twenty years.
When I divorced my first husband (who is in the military) I didn't rule out dating military personnel, but I didn't go looking for them either. And I actually ended up marrying someone who works in the oil and gas industry and who is gone two weeks at a time on a regular basis - sometimes longer than two weeks. All my life as the child and then the wife and now the mother of military personnel has acclimated me to being very independent and very competent regarding work separations.
When I met my current husband, he told me that he had had issues with relationships in the past because so many women cannot or do not handle regular separations well. They were either too needy and insecure and clingy, or they were going crazy and partying and being ridiculous when he was gone. I knew that I was neither extreme. Come to find out, my "military training" was perfect for his weird work schedule. We've been happily married now for nearly ten years.
It does take a strong, independent person to handle ongoing separations. And there IS a sort of "military lifestyle" that includes a different mindset than the general civilian population, so in the OP's defense, I understand the draw when it comes to a relationship with a person in the military. But as others have pointed out, there are so many users and predators out there. My husband told me it's the same in the oil and gas industry. Some women smell a regular paycheck and a lot of unsupervised time and they want the LIFESTYLE - not necessarily the MAN. Not cool.
Heh. I'm ex-military, married to a military retiree and I have to admit the "I'm looking for a man who's never home" flew right over my head. * woosh * Whenever I think of ladies trolling for GIs I think of places like the Philippines, never occurred to me that it happens right here. I guess I forgot everything I learned watching An Officer and a Gentlemen.
But I still hope people send cards, letters and sundries to our service members overseas.
There are certain types of women who prowl military base hangouts, for sure. Over the course of a lengthy Navy career, my uncle married three women, two of them straight up skanks who trolled bars popular with Chiefs and officers (women seasoned enough that they considered lower enlisted "beneath" them, from an earnings standpoint). But here's the thing. Guys, show some judgment. As a military spouse, the whole "dependa" insult irks me. Mainly because it paints the servicemember as some poor victim, taken advantage of, hoodwinked into supporting a trashy troll. News flash...these guys willingly marry these chicks. If you're gonna ignore red flags, that comes at a price.
Sorry but this is just filled with many red flags we warn our Soldiers about.
Words such as BAH and Tricare come to mind as well as someone looking to become a dependapotamus.
The warning signs are there: claims to be doing good by herself and okay with a long distance relation. This is a leaders worst nightmare here.
Joe marries someone like this, signs over a power of attorney, leaves for deployment and comes back to nothing and no one. The senior leaders in here have seen this before.
Yep. Totally agree.
__________________ ____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
There are certain types of women who prowl military base hangouts, for sure. Over the course of a lengthy Navy career, my uncle married three women, two of them straight up skanks who trolled bars popular with Chiefs and officers (women seasoned enough that they considered lower enlisted "beneath" them, from an earnings standpoint). But here's the thing. Guys, show some judgment. As a military spouse, the whole "dependa" insult irks me. Mainly because it paints the servicemember as some poor victim, taken advantage of, hoodwinked into supporting a trashy troll. News flash...these guys willingly marry these chicks. If you're gonna ignore red flags, that comes at a price.
I agree with this. Anyone dating needs to be aware of red flags, and military personnel actually in many ways have more of a heads' up than the general population because not only are examples of bad choices all around them in close proximity, they often even have training on how to avoid making bad dating and marriage choices! They have people above them in their chain of command that are often looking out for them as well.
There are users in every walk of life. The key to avoiding them is maturity and emotional health.
When I was dating, I quickly figured out what key phrases were red flags. Pay close attention and don't make excuses for bad behavior. Anyone dating or marrying a member of the armed forces needs to be MORE mature and MORE responsible than "average" so look for those qualities - and don't expect to find them if you don't embody them yourself.
Here goes Miss Super-Ioneednoman who now finds herself in need of a man who likes to be needed.
"Ioneednoman" means you have no incentive to be loyal and probably just looking to fulfill a temporary and fleeting fetish or fantasy. Theyre not interested. Maybe some are, apparently...
You want a military spouse who will be gone long periods of time. What happens if he returns from that long trip with a traumatic injury?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
