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This thread is speaking VOLUMES about some of the female contributors...more so than in the other threads, even. There's a few out there that don't paint a very pretty picture for guys either, but this one isn't making certain posters look very good.
Here's a mental exercise for the OP: Take a situation. Reverse the gender roles. Are you offended by the guy's behavior? Then there's a good chance you did something wrong.
Obviously, there's exceptions...but this isn't one of them.
"a first date is the time to put these shortcomings aside and make an effort to make him feel special"
"How can I make this night great for HIM? How can I show him that he is special to me?"
"moreso than the man, the woman should be making an effort to make sure he's having a good time"
"Because she's the woman."
"she sets the stage for making the man feel comfortable, and he is much more likely to reciprocate those things"
"there is 'acceptable' nervous, and then there's 'ridiculous' nervous where the woman is letting her nerves get the better of her and isn't stepping up to the plate at all."
"I like to be made to feel special. That's the only way I'll feel comfortable making her feel special"
"if a woman doesn't treat me like I'm special to her, then I'm hesitant to open up to her and show interest. ...I can't feel like a woman is worth my effort unless she treats me a certain way"
I suspect the OP would not agree with any of these statements in practice. Yet, they're somehow expected in the other direction.
You mean a line of men just wanting to have sex. Like thats hard to get.
Same difference. Dating/having sex. Let's not pretend that some women don't want that either. There are plenty of women that play the field because they can, too.
But my earlier point is that younger women tend to have way more options than guys. So they are willing to play the field more, because they are always thinking they can do better. Why not? After all, they have guys lining up for them. So even if they meet a good guy, there are plenty of occasions where they'll blow him off because they always think they can do better with the abundance of options they have. Sometimes it just doesn't work in their favor though.
Sorry but you wont find many women pulling out guys' seats for them on dates.
And "a woman needs to make me feel special before I can feel comfortable to treat her like shes special"
Said no man ever.
Well, I don't know. I'm about to walk away from a girl if she doesn't step up her game and "make me feel needed/special" in her life. So you're wrong, and I just proved that.
Are men forgetting that we're out on a date and trying to show interest in each other? Im the type thats introverted and have a lot of walls up, so Im hesitant to open myself up to a complete stranger. If he does things to me that makes me feel safe and comfortable with him where I can lose some inhibitions, then he's someone important to me that I see as special because of how he makes me feel.
Its not making a demand out of someone because a lot of guys dont know how to tap into women like me, its just accepting that Im not going to make a man important to me without first knowing his level of interest in me. And how he treats me, the effort he puts into showing that I mean something to him, determines that level.
Same difference. Dating/having sex. Let's not pretend that some women don't want that either. There are plenty of women that play the field because they can, too.
But my earlier point is that younger women tend to have way more options than guys. So they are willing to play the field more, because they are always thinking they can do better. Why not? After all, they have guys lining up for them. So even if they meet a good guy, there are plenty of occasions where they'll blow him off because they always think they can do better with the abundance of options they have. Sometimes it just doesn't work in their favor though.
Dating and sex are not synonymous. One can date without sex and one can have sex without dating.
When they're young, most of them don't care about the consequences. Why? Because in their 20s, women seem (or at least feel) like they have the pick of the litter. Guys throw themselves at women in their 20s. It's when they end up in their mid-30s, still single, that the reality of their actions start to kick in. They're not wanted nearly as much and it begins to take a toll on their attention-starved psyche. There are plenty of "case in points" on this forum.
You have a point there. I never really threw myself at women in my early 20's because I didn't care about dating until I turned 24. My mother fits your description except she's been married for a few months now. I can see the case in points on here. Some women truly thinks it should be about them and it doesn't matter what men want.
Are men forgetting that wexre out on a date and trying to show interest in each other? Im the type thats introverted and have a lot of walls up, so Im hesitant to open myself up to a complete stranger. If he does things to me that makes me feel safe and comfortable with him where I can lose some inhibitions, then he's someone important to me that I see as special because of how he makes me feel.
Its not making a demand out of someone because a lot of guys dont know how to tap into women like me, its just accepting that Im not going to make a man important to me without first knowing his level of interest in me. And how he treats me determines that level.
I'm the same as you. Introverted and kind of guarded. But if I wanted a woman, I'd make her feel good. If she doesn't do the same for me, I want nothing to do with her. I have no time for selfish women who want to take and never give.
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