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There is no reason not to...it sure beats staying at home moping about. As long as everyone is aware of what's up, there is no foul. I'm sure there are plenty of men who are more than willing to be your "friend" while you are trying to forget about your ex.....There are men who prefer this type of woman, since you aren't typically ready for anything serious, and just looking for a distraction.
Is it wrong to these guys? Or is it just part of the moving on process? Should you wait until your completely over the person before getting back out there?
If you truly love someone, IMO, you don't ever fully lose those feelings. But, you do "get over it". You grieve, you accept that it is over, you are ready to move on.
If anything, my GF helped me get over my ex. It kept my mind off her and made me realize there were other girls out there. And that I had an awesome one right in front me of
I met a guy a few months ago on Match. He was really nice, and we are still friends - but that's all it ever felt like. He wasn't over his ex. It kind of creates a vicious cycle - his head is still stuck in the past with the ex, and not in the present with me, so in turn that was why I couldn't view it as anything more either.
A while ago, we were at dinner a few days before Christmas. He starts talking about his ex. Not just telling stories where she happened to be in his past, but flat out said how's it's Christmas time and "Waw, waw, waw, I miss my ex! We had fun plans last Christmas and now she isn't here..." He stopped just short of singing "I'll Have a Blue Christmas."
I would have been really ticked off, but realized how I really wasn't all that into dating him either. He wasn't one to talk much about his ex before, but now it became clear why there was zero chemistry. He's a decent guy and realized later what he'd said was thoughtless (his words.) But you can't put the toothpaste back in the tube. The later weeks he tried harder to be more attentive towards me, but no way was I into it. It wasn't just about saying the wrong thing - he wasn't over her and that couldn't have been more obvious. You can't un-feel that. I told him he needed to get that sorted out and that would probably take time - and that I couldn't see us dating.
So, this will probably just waste time if you aren't over your ex - a waste of your time, and it's especially time wasting and unfair for the other person. You might end up with a friend if they are understanding (not likely though). It depends on how hung up you still are over your ex. Why don't you wait at least until these feelings aren't so strong and new?
Last edited by catnip8056; 03-05-2015 at 02:14 PM..
If you're certain the individual asking you out is not seeking to develop a relationship and just wants companionship to attend an event, then I don't see anything wrong.
You'd need to be upfront, and yet at the same time ensure that during the date you don't talk about your ex.
It can't hurt, as long as you don't lead anyone to think you're ready for a relationship if you're not. Why not have some fun and distract yourself from the person who dumped you?
Quote:
Originally Posted by vigueur2014
There is no reason not to...it sure beats staying at home moping about. As long as everyone is aware of what's up, there is no foul. I'm sure there are plenty of men who are more than willing to be your "friend" while you are trying to forget about your ex.....There are men who prefer this type of woman, since you aren't typically ready for anything serious, and just looking for a distraction.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Petunia 100
If you truly love someone, IMO, you don't ever fully lose those feelings. But, you do "get over it". You grieve, you accept that it is over, you are ready to move on.
lots of great responses on this thread, along with the above, i say all depends on when you feel you are ready to going out with other guys while you have someone else on your mind.
some ppl deal with heart break using distractions, others plow through the pain until it subsides, and them some allow themselves to recover until they rebuild themselves into full "dating mode" again. but in the end, it all depends on how you want to move your life forward.... and how long you want to deal with the sucky sadness and memories of missing your ex
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