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So really, attraction can be sneaky. Sometimes it can be instant, depending though. It was instant with my friend. She and her boyfriend were friends for years before they started dating.
I agree. In fact, I started a thread awhile back making this exact point, that you might be friends with someone and suddenly become attracted to them even though you weren't initially. But most of the people responding to that thread dismissed the idea.
I agree. In fact, I started a thread awhile back making this exact point, that you might be friends with someone and suddenly become attracted to them even though you weren't initially. But most of the people responding to that thread dismissed the idea.
It's not the same, but sometimes it can happen from tv. A movie a watched. I liked most of the characters. It was one who was more the silly one. He's not ugly, but I didn't have any attraction toward any of the guys. But the smallest one I instantly liked when I saw him kick ass in a fight. I always liked men who could fight. This guy was the shortest, and skinniest of the men, but he was the one I became attracted to in the course of 1 scene. lol
Real life though, it's a bit harder. Because unlike tv and books, you have to interact with people to get to know about them, unless you're a stalker lol And that's what messes up many people.
Because for example say you don't like fat women, and one shows interest. You could get to know her and become crazy about her. But there's a chance you won't, then it ends up with someone being strung along and both people's time being wasted because one knew at the start they weren't attracted, and were chancing "maybe they'll grow on me." So sometimes when you try for it, dating becomes a chore rather than something to look forward to. So that's why people just stick to what they like, rather than playing chance with someone where the physical attraction isn't already there. And that can be good and bad, depending. If one wants to date with expectations.
It's easy if people hang out as friends, or casually with no dating or intents of romance/sex. Because things build naturally, rather than someone trying for it. So it can be a good reason keep many friends around. Get to know people and hang out, have fun, etc. A friendship is built, and sometimes you find love or good relationships in friends. So that's a problem sometimes is going with expectations being really high. Instead of thinking about just meeting nice new people, one is focused on meeting a serious romantic/sexual partner. Just getting to know people, as people, rather than potential lovers, probably makes things less stressful and it opens many more doors.
So that may be what people mean when they say "It comes when you stop looking." It just means be natural and social and try connecting with people, then a match can come naturally.
I never cared about a guy's height. But I had a crush on a guy who was pretty tall and I really was attracted to that. Never repeated itself again, I went back to not caring about that feature. My ex's personal style is something I never liked but grew to like it (flat bill hats, diamond earrings, basketball shorts..) I think I like it because its "him" and I like him to feel good and confident so I mirror that, I think. I once bought a shirt for him I thought was super cool and when he put it on I realized, that is so not him and didn't like it anymore. :P
Because for example say you don't like fat women, and one shows interest. You could get to know her and become crazy about her. But there's a chance you won't, then it ends up with someone being strung along and both people's time being wasted because one knew at the start they weren't attracted, and were chancing "maybe they'll grow on me." So sometimes when you try for it, dating becomes a chore rather than something to look forward to. So that's why people just stick to what they like, rather than playing chance with someone where the physical attraction isn't already there. And that can be good and bad, depending. If one wants to date with expectations...
So that may be what people mean when they say "It comes when you stop looking." It just means be natural and social and try connecting with people, then a match can come naturally.
I think the key is here that you aren't trying to change your mind about an issue or feature or trying to get over it. It just suddenly doesn't matter at all because you're so sprung overall or by their other qualities. You definitely shouldn't put a ton of time into something you aren't feelin'. But maybe a couple dates, not enough to feel like you really wasted your time. I guess it's a balance between time wasting and giving someone a chance, I think it's possible to navigate that without it being a huge loss.
I never thought I would be attracted to women with big legs(within reason). That's why I race at the velodrome. Plenty of big leg women that race there! Haha
I agree. In fact, I started a thread awhile back making this exact point, that you might be friends with someone and suddenly become attracted to them even though you weren't initially. But most of the people responding to that thread dismissed the idea.
I think that can happen - it has happened that I have been attracted to a female friend, but no female friend has ever been attracted to me.
I never thought I would be attracted to women with big legs(within reason). That's why I race at the velodrome. Plenty of big leg women that race there! Haha
I've always been attracted to women with big legs. Rowers, soccer players, track stars, lifters, and, yes, cyclists.
I used to be solely into light skinned guys with an earring in one ear, but most of the light skinned people I've encountered have been self centered and think that they are better than darker skinned black people.
I found out that I am newly attracted dudes who look similar to Derek Luke, thanks to some crushes. I'm newly attracted to nerdy guys, with black frames, curly blonde hair and who is outgoing. And guys with dark brown hair and light colored eyes, wearing suits. Guys who look like a young Corbin Bleu...ah, just all the pretty guys in general! But those are mah main.
And...most importantly, I found out I want a guy similar to me personality wise.
I used to be solely into light skinned guys with an earring in one ear, but most of the light skinned people I've encountered have been self centered and think that they are better than darker skinned black people.
Is this really a common thing? I've heard of this but since I'm white I don't really know what it's about. In what ways do they express they think they're better?
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