Things You Found Attractive That Completely Surprised You (dating, boyfriend, Asian)

[DennyCrane]

Most of us, I think, feel like we know ourselves pretty well. We feel sure of who we are, what we like and don't like, and can easily say whether we'd find a certain type of person attractive. This comes in handy when someone tries to set us up. They'll describe the person and we can pretty quickly rule them out. "Oh, she's got a kid? No way. Not interested." "Oh he's a lawyer? Forget it. I hate all lawyers." But one thing I've experienced every now and then is the feeling of surprise, surprise at finding myself attracted to someone I didn't think I ever would be. In my 20s, I said I'd never be attracted to a single mom. Her having a kid alone would turn me off. So what happens? A few years later, I meet this great woman, we really hit it off, but she has a child. Only, to my surprise, it doesn't bother me that she has a kid. In my 30s, I said I wouldn't date a woman who was overweight. If someone tried to set me up and said the person had a pretty face, I'd realize that was code for "she's overweight" and I'd quickly say "no thanks." But then I meet someone, we have great chemistry, and I find myself not caring that she's overweight.

I got to thinking about this when a guy I knew in high school, a guy who said he'd never date outside his own race, ended up marrying a black girl (he's white). I wasn't friends with him so I don't know exactly what caused him to change his mind. Was it instantaneous when he met this woman? Was he surprised at how wrong he was about his previous rule? A friend of mine said she'd never in a million years date a guy who was shorter than her. So what happens? She's married a guy who's 5'5". She's 5'8". When I asked what changed her mind, she just said "If you had told me I'd marry a short guy, I would've laughed. Even my mom was shocked."

Has this happened to you at all? Did you think you had a clear idea of what you liked and didn't like, but then one day you met someone who made you do a 180? What particular quality did you end up changing your mind about? It doesn't necessarily have to be a physical trait either. Was there a quality that maybe, to your horror, you found yourself liking and wish you didn't?

[Raena77]

Yes I dated out of my race in my 20's everyone was shocked.I realized he was a human being, intelligent, and kind.He was goodlooking too.He was American like me and from my state.

[OvernightDelivery]

I'm more surprised with who I'm not attracted with than who I am. Also every girl I've done a 180 for failed miserably, at this point it's actually become a sign that I might as well walk away.

[rbohm]

i have always found confidence and a friendly attitude attractive, and i have pretty much always been drawn to people that display these characteristics. i have never really cared about the color of a persons skin, its just like the clothes they wear, just more permanent.

[aneye4detail]

I thought I wouldn't like a big guy (tall and few extra lbs.) then I fell for one. It was based on his personality but also he happened to be one of those big people who doesn't have extra chins. The reason I say I don't usually like big and talls, is because I like small and shorts. In the same bar where I met the big and tall, I met a small and short (I'm talking same as my height - 5'2.) and we were instantly attracted like magnet to steel. Whereas the big and tall, took us a while to get into each other.

[oh-eve]

I am surprised to notice that I am not attracted to anybody who earns above average wages.

I found that out last year when I had tons and tons of first dates. Just had no chemistry with guys with very good jobs. Weird. Maybe because my parents always wanted me to date rich guys.

[Lucario]

I never thought I would find Asian women attractive. I mean, I think there are women in every race/ethnicity who are pretty/beautiful, etc. But I never encountered Asian women who drove me crazy, who were my "type."

Then I went to Japan and Hawaii for a while.

I am so glad I went there.

[HappyRain]

There was one guy I liked. I thought he was great. But I am not a fan of really hairy. When I saw his legs for the 1st time, I saw he was a very hairy fellow. But despite not being a general fan, I thought it was sexy on him, he doesn't need to change a thing.

Another guy I was indifferent to. But after seeing a bit of his personality, I found him attractive. However, my father, mother, friend, and her mother all thought he was ugly lol

My friend though is a good example. She liked guys who were lean-buff. She hated hairy guys, unless it was hair on their head. And she would like the guys who oozed confidence/arrogance--romantic types.

What boyfriend did she get, and plans to marry.

1. He's overweight
2. He's hairy - face, stomach, chest, legs
3. He's more the nerdy type rather than the suave romantic

The one thing he has that she has always liked is he's take-charge. She comments he takes no crap from people, and he's not weak, physically.

But alot of other things about him, she didn't think she'd like. She says he's not classically cute, but she finds him sexy and wouldn't trade him for anybody.

So really, attraction can be sneaky. Sometimes it can be instant, depending though. It was instant with my friend. She and her boyfriend were friends for years before they started dating.

[Cape Cod Todd]

Love is Strange what more can be said.

[Lucario]

Originally Posted by Raena77

Yes I dated out of my race in my 20's everyone was shocked.I realized he was a human being, intelligent, and kind.He was goodlooking too.He was American like me and from my state.

Then you and Jon got sick of each other and divorced.