My boyfriend told me "he didn't owe me anything" ? (date, man)
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I didn't break up with him. Okay, let me give you guys a brief overview. He is basically obsessed with respect and being respected. Anytime we got in a fight, he tell me I was being disrespectful, even if I wasnt. Even if we were just disagreeing, I'm disrespectful. He called me 2 weeks ago and I didn't have cell service so I hung up on him. He says I'm disrespectful, he cursed at me on the phone. Ever since that fight, things were different.
He said he wanted to be friends with benefits at that point, because Im disrespectful. He said respect is his #1 priority, not saving our relationship. He's had breakups in the past because of this respect issue.
He's been losing interest in me, so I started to bombard him with my feelings and texts messages, he lost interest more. We're done. Lol.
That's different. I don't think you can do anything about this, but I can now see why you wanted closure. Only thing I can say is try someone closer next time. LDR's rarely work out, especially if they are new, and especially when one or both parties aren't mature.
You're expecting someone else's feelings to match yours, which is out of your control. Feeling bad about it is natural, but expecting it to change sets you up for more heart ache.
No. It was a positive experience at the time. We met online, we've been friends since October. He came to visit me mid January, that's when we had sex. He supposed to come see me this upcoming weekend, but all we've been doing is fighting the past month so he isn't coming.
So, you had sex once with LDR dude and that's all?
Chalk it up to a learning experience. It's not terrible. You weren't going to be a virgin forever, it doesn't sound like.
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Okay�� You think I'm immature for placing too much importance on it? I feel like I have been. Like I kind of thought it was special about me and now it's gone. I don't know where that feeling came from?
Important clarification...I don't mean immature as an insulting thing, just...you're young. You've got a road to walk and life to live and learn about and stuff.
But yes. I think it is only precisely as important as you let it be, and not one bit more. Different people view it differently. For some it's a big deal, but for many of us (I was one of them) it just wasn't really. I will tell you true, I have known multiple men who want NOTHING to do with virgins. A lot of the best guys I've been with prefer a woman who is a woman and knows what she wants. No, that doesn't mean go crazy and sleep with just anyone, but I'm saying I don't think you've lost anything important, and you certainly are not of any less value personally. Unless you were really trying to hook up with some kind of religious extremist or something, who wants you to be his own property...?
Did you grow up in a very religious household or something?
So, you had sex once with LDR dude and that's all?
Chalk it up to a learning experience. It's not terrible. You weren't going to be a virgin forever, it doesn't sound like.
Well, we had sex more than once but yes Ive only met him once. What do you mean by "it's not terrible" ? The situation? I don't want to be seen as an easy girl. I feel like closing off from every guy, I don't want to let people in right now. Yeah we've met once, but I thought I knew him honestly. We had that one fight and he wrote me off as disrespectful and that was that :/
I'm at the end of breaking up with my boyfriend of about 5 months. We're long distance, so I think the whole thing was destined to fail. The past few days I've been trying to reach out to him and he barely answers my texts anymore.
What put me over the edge today was him telling me that he "doesn't owe me anything" after I told him I can't believe he took my virignity and has the balls to completely ignore me. Me saying that made everything worse. I didn't want to make it seem like he owes me, but I'm so hurt that he doesn't even want to speak to me or work out our problems.
Am I in the wrong? It doesn't even really matter because we're over. I think I just want closure or something.
Actually he did not "take" anything, you agreed to allow him to make you a non virgin.
He is right he does not owe you anything so leave the man alone and move on already and since you broke up, you are long distance and you stated in your first sentence you feel the relationship was destined to fail anyway, what exactly is there to work out?
Important clarification...I don't mean immature as an insulting thing, just...you're young. You've got a road to walk and life to live and learn about and stuff.
But yes. I think it is only precisely as important as you let it be, and not one bit more. Different people view it differently. For some it's a big deal, but for many of us (I was one of them) it just wasn't really. I will tell you true, I have known multiple men who want NOTHING to do with virgins. A lot of the best guys I've been with prefer a woman who is a woman and knows what she wants. No, that doesn't mean go crazy and sleep with just anyone, but I'm saying I don't think you've lost anything important, and you certainly are not of any less value personally. Unless you were really trying to hook up with some kind of religious extremist or something, who wants you to be his own property...?
Did you grow up in a very religious household or something?
Okay, thanks for this. He's told me he wishes I had more relationship expierence too, but for a different reason. He's not relationship material because he said he doesn't like when people expect things from him. That's why he got really angry this morning because he's like "I don't owe you a thing." He basically wants me to experience what it's like for couples to "expect" things from each other and come back when I realize its a bad thing.
Actually he did not "take" anything, you agreed to allow him to make you a non virgin.
He is right he does not owe you anything so leave the man alone and move on already and since you broke up, you are long distance and you stated in your first sentence you feel the relationship was destined to fail anyway, what exactly is there to work out?
I'd go a step further and say that she chose to make herself a non virgin.
I'd go a step further and say that she chose to make herself a non virgin.
Agreed and honestly I cannot believe she is having such emotional issues over a guy she met face to face one time.
Especially a guy who thinks couples expecting things from each other is wrong.
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