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It doesn't matter what his thoughts are, there was nothing you could have done to make this end any differently. You're young, and will learn, that some people suck, and nothing you do will change that. It's something they need to do on their own. The best thing for you to do, is something that makes no sense right now. If you block him from ever contacting you, and you resist the urge to contact him...you will heal much faster. Well he is your first, and you are entitled to feel the way you do, but just to warn you, there are no words...no actions...directed toward him, that will make it better. Distancing from him, is the best medicine to cure you of your sadness.
Thank you. I know I think he honestly just sucks. He's had a really bad home life, he never went to college. He doesn't believe in relationships, he's told me he doesn't trust anyone in his life. I tried to give him love and be his friend but he wants none of it. I need to move on.
I don't have any thoughts about him or his views as I've never spoken to him.
I'm not going to tell him what is "good" for him or not. There are plenty of people that at points in their life need to focus on themselves and emotionally/mentally shouldn't be involved in a relationship as they don't have the capacity to support others. There is nothing inherently wrong with that.
I know. I'm just foolish for getting involved with someone who told me they don't believe in relationships. God I'm stupid. I'm just trying to understand those types of people, how can they not want to be loved? I'm doing a lot of introspective thinking. I think I need to take a break from trying to connect with people and live my life for me for now.
Well, duh, if giving someone your virginity was a guarantee that you'd be together for life, we'd all still be stuck with the jerk we gave our virginity to. That would NOT be a good way to live.
Virginity is a highly overrated thing. It isn't a commodity to be bargained with. You are not worth less as a person now that you no longer have it. Did your sexual ability improve over time? I'll bet it did. The next time you have sex, you will appreciate SO MUCH that you now have some idea what you are doing.
He is absolutely right that he owes you nothing. You now have better skills and are smarter than you were. It's okay to be sad that your relationship didn't work out. But Don't try to reason with him, and don't spend another second mourning the loss of what is of no value whatsoever.
If you want closure than you have to allow yourself to have it.
Life lessons. You're learning them.
Take it as such and don't turn it in to a defensive pity party that blames everyone else Invovled and side steps YOUR actions.
self responsibility and keeping situations in perspective instead of allowing them to just "take you" places goes a long way....but that is all hindsight for you at this point.
Keep strong we have all been here before at some point in our lives.
Ah, the "you took my virginity" card. Not fair. Did you forget that you GAVE him your virginity?
He doesn't owe you anything. He wasn't your husband, the father of your children, or any way indebted to you. Breakups suck, we have all been there, and most of us aren't with those who took our virginity.
Take this as a lesson learned, and to have higher standards next time. Best of luck.
I know, that's the hardest part for me. I get really really upset and start texting like crazy and being all like "**** you" lol. I think it's my biggest problem..just being able to handle my emotions. I'm not texting him ever again.
Some people take virginity lightly while others don't. OP, you clearly belong to the latter. Your regrets come from your poor judgement and decision by losing something that's important to you, to a player you thought you could change which unfortunately didn't happen.
Infact you already got the closure you want from his responses. He IS exactly what he told you and the "disrespectful" thing may well be an excuse for him to cut loose. This guy is a loser and he don't owe you anything but a break up, be thankful he showed you his true self rather than stringing you along for further heartbreaks. Learn from this experience and move on, you deserve someone better.
Last edited by softcrunch; 03-09-2015 at 12:51 PM..
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