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I don't see how that equates to, "you need therapy!"
I've never had mental or emotional problems in my entire life. I want to close off from people because I'm still hurt. It will fade with time.
All I can really do is not be such a pushover in my next relationship. I'm going to wait until I meet the next guy in real life so maybe he won't be a lunatic, or I'll be able to pick up on it quicker.
I don't see how that equates to, "you need therapy!"
I've never had mental or emotional problems in my entire life. I want to close off from people because I'm still hurt. It will fade with time.
All I can really do is not be such a pushover in my next relationship. I'm going to wait until I meet the next guy in real life so maybe he won't be a lunatic, or I'll be able to pick up on it quicker.
OP:
You should figure out why you are a pushover and take steps to prevent that from happening.
As for wanting to close off from people... talk to someone you trust about this.
She seems to have made some progress in dealing with this and she's trying to get out of this gracefully. Why not let her?
She is the only one stopping herself from learning all of the life lessons she could learn from this.
I have no control over what she does but "gracefully" was never part of this thread, starting with the original post.
It was one life experience with a guy you already know isn't good for you. You are going to rack up all sorts of life experiences so why not see it as a positive rather than beating it to death? You will never have any good memories if you can't get yourself under control. He's far away, not bothering you, go do something else and make more memories.
Okay, thanks for telling me I have no common sense, that's nice and helpful.
I had a really big, beautiful, "never been heartbroken in her life yet" heart. Anything was possible, and yeah I guess my "fantasy" of him was what I had been searching for in my real life and never found. Lesson learned.
What CDS said could have been put more diplomatically, but it was nonetheless true.
This is a great post, I love analyzing personalities. This brings everything full circle to me, and I'm seeing things clearly now that I'm not so upset.
Yup, he has an absolutely terrible relationship with his father. I'm pretty sure in his words "he never really cared." He was one of those dads who was physically there, but was of no emotional support or guidance.
He distances himself from his mother because she's too "invasive." He barely knows his younger sister. He only spoke fondly of his eldest sister. Actually when he visited me he didn't even tell his family.
Red flags. Red flags.
Yep. Glad you're waking up to this stuff. There's a saying "Women marry men hoping they'll change and men marry women hoping they won't". You don't want to be one of those women who ends up with "fixer upper" guys. And be more careful about going to bed with them, too. Just the thought of you being pregnant by a jerk like him freaks me out (and hopefully it freaks you out, too)!
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