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Whenever I would date a new guy, I would tell them I am a Virgin and I am saving myself for marriage to have sex. A lot of them understood, admired it, and respected me for it, by saying they would wait as long as it took, while dating me. Of course in the long run, a lot of them just left because sex was what they mainly wanted.
But there were a few guys that did wait a few years but things ended due to other reasons. Anyway this new guy I have spoken of a few times on these forums, who I have been dating for 2 months, knows I am not having sex until marriage and he respects that and is willing to wait.
Again, I have heard that "line" before. So how do I know he is being legit and not just going to be like the rest? He does seem serious in wanting to wait for me, he even told me, "Not if it means losing you. I mean I am not going to turn it down, and I can wait like when I first spoke to you, some people are worth waiting for, even years."
So what to do? Should I take his word for it or should I be on my guard and see what happens?
The best thing to do is quit trying to analyze every detail of your life and figure out the "angle" of this guy from his spoken words.
Let life happen, naturally, it always does whether you get an analyzed angle or not.
You will be much happier, less stressed out and actually enjoy time spent with another human.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,171,503 times
Reputation: 40641
You don't "know" anything until you actually get married.
If you want absolute assuredness of anything in a relationship for anything, you're going to be waiting forever. You will never 100% know about the future, or 100% know about what is really going on in some else's head.
If you want to create problems before they exist, go a head and worry and put your guard up. That doesn't sound like fun to me.
(And I doubt they left because sex was what they mainly wanted, but if it makes you feel better about it to tell yourself that, go ahead)
I think you need to really let them know how you stand. It's obvious the other guys thought they could get you to drop your guard, since they probably didn't believe that you really meant it. You probably aren't completely honest with them...or else they wouldn't hang on for so long, before giving up....and that's what they are doing, is giving up on the idea of having a "virgin" at their age. The majority of people give up on that idea by the time they are 25...I know I did, once I hit 18
You say he respects you, but you don't even respect him...."you've heard that line before" did he throw that line at you? Or are you persecuting him because of the men of your past. I guess it would be understandable, since you always have it happen, so you haven't made any adjustments to change the type of men you date.....Stop getting paranoid because of the men of your past, it's unfair to the current guy.
Whenever I would date a new guy, I would tell them I am a Virgin and I am saving myself for marriage to have sex. A lot of them understood, admired it, and respected me for it, by saying they would wait as long as it took, while dating me. Of course in the long run, a lot of them just left because sex was what they mainly wanted.
But there were a few guys that did wait a few years but things ended due to other reasons. Anyway this new guy I have spoken of a few times on these forums, who I have been dating for 2 months, knows I am not having sex until marriage and he respects that and is willing to wait.
Again, I have heard that "line" before. So how do I know he is being legit and not just going to be like the rest? He does seem serious in wanting to wait for me, he even told me, "Not if it means losing you. I mean I am not going to turn it down, and I can wait like when I first spoke to you, some people are worth waiting for, even years."
So what to do? Should I take his word for it or should I be on my guard and see what happens?
Whenever I would date a new guy, I would tell them I am a Virgin and I am saving myself for marriage to have sex. A lot of them understood, admired it, and respected me for it, by saying they would wait as long as it took, while dating me. Of course in the long run, a lot of them just left because sex was what they mainly wanted.
But there were a few guys that did wait a few years but things ended due to other reasons. Anyway this new guy I have spoken of a few times on these forums, who I have been dating for 2 months, knows I am not having sex until marriage and he respects that and is willing to wait.
Again, I have heard that "line" before. So how do I know he is being legit and not just going to be like the rest? He does seem serious in wanting to wait for me, he even told me, "Not if it means losing you. I mean I am not going to turn it down, and I can wait like when I first spoke to you, some people are worth waiting for, even years."
So what to do? Should I take his word for it or should I be on my guard and see what happens?
You've only dated him for two months. The months or years that go past until he (or someone else) proposes and marries you will be your only proof that means they will wait to have sex with you. In the mean time, you might lose a few guys, but stick to your guns if remaining a virgin is that important to you.
Honestly, I would be skeptical of someone who says they will "wait for you"...not because I think they are lying, but because that's a lot of pressure on both of you. It's a totally different dynamic than seeing someone who shares the same values in regards to premarital sex, because you would both be on the same page from the get-go.
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