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After we started having sex and she never orgasmed, i said id like to give her one and she should tell me what should i do to please her... She said dont worry, that she has never had an orgasm with any boyfriend and that it is OK. its like she doesnt even care to try/say it...
I asked her if she achieved orgasms by masturbating and she said yes... Maybe thats the reason. After that i was watching/noticing her during sex more closely and all i can say from her body responses and facial expressions is that she likes it/enjoys it... but clearly not enough...
Have you tried oral? Will she allow oral? Some women don't like it.
OP, is she on oral contraceptives or anti-depressants? Either one can kill the drive.
some of you have completely wrong idea!
I do love her, i do nice things for her, im there if she needs me, i show her that i care, i do NOT mention her sex every week, i do not grab every chance while we are in bed to get some... but when sex is almost non-existent in a 1 year relationship how can i be happy? what can i expect in the future? months without sex will likely turn into years...
i find her attractive, i love her and i want her. its not like just an act of sex, i want to make love to her i need that connection. but as things are i feel unloved and unwanted - i was honest with her about my needs and what sex means to me. Hell i d be happy with regular sex once per week. is that too much to expect at 28???
Again, this is my first serious relationship, so you better believe it when i say i do love her and care for her... im not all about sex, but man, there is almost no sex! I dont think that is right or normal... And BTW for anniversary i made her a painting - i worked over 10 hours on it. so now you know...
i have a need in relationship - a perfectly normal one, so i dont know why all the hate...
OP, you haven't done anything wrong and not sure where some of the heat you're getting here is coming from. I can't imagine everyone is okay with sex once every six weeks.
Anyway, the fact that you're seeking advice, have made it clear that you care for this woman and are willing to put in the effort shows you're not just a player.
Unfortunately, I don't see how this will get any better for you, especially if she'd rather sit at home with her friend than come over to see you. That said, it sounds like she's simply not mature enough for a serious relationship and all that comes with that. Usually, especially during the first year, the couple is at the persons place who lives solo, not just for sex, but to spend quality time together without anyone else around, then they eventually move in together.
Have you tried oral? Will she allow oral? Some women don't like it.
OP, is she on oral contraceptives or anti-depressants? Either one can kill the drive.
Yes, she is on oral contraceptives. But even if she has low sex drive - if i was her, id put some effort for my significant other, and try to satisfy her needs, especially if she would make it as clear as i made it to her. And not only once every blue moon....
i dont think she loves me that much or is incredibly selfish...
We have been together for a year. We are both 28 now. So we had our one year anniversary on Wednesday. We dont have regular sex (we live apart 15 minutes (driving) - she lives at home and she rarely came to my place where we can have sex even tho i invite her quite often she came only once a month - we dont have sex for 4,5,6 or even more weeks in a row. its always been like this since beginning. Im reading my diary - we had sex 4 times in first 5 months, 6 times in first 6 months... its my firs serious relationship but i cant go on like this forever...
Around 6 months in relationship she was eager to have sex with me, she was inviting herself (I was happy), but then that stopped pretty soon. She is very eager to see me, caring and affectionate towards me. but sexual relationship... i dont know what to think... i feel she is more of a friend to me then a girlfriend.
I talked to her about it 3 times but nothing ever changes. We have agreement how to solve that problem - me sleeping over at her place at Fridays or Saturdays and she can came at my place anytime she wants for last 2 months (i have my own place now). the thing is she always has an excuse when i invite myself to sleep over at her place, and she has not invited my to sleep over at her place for at least 3 months... i dont know what to do... We have sex soon after argument and then the dry spell/cycle continue. What bothers me even more is that she never said anything about lack of sex. it like 6 weeks went by with no sex and she just doesnt care!). I get more and more resentful after every passing week without sex and that effects our relationship. i told her sex once a month is just not enough for me and it means a lot to me but she just doest put any effort to change things. I constantly feel unwanted and unloved.
So on Wednesday we went to a dinner and during dinner i suggested/invited her to come to my place on Saturday, but she declined invitation, because her best friend came back from holidays - she was gone for 14 days, and my gf rather wait for her at home to have a drink with her than come to my place and make some love. To think about it, things like this happened several times - that friends or some other stuff were priority over me. .
She also gave me nothing for our anniversary even tho she was constantly counting how many months/weeks/days are still missing till one year together, so i thought its a big deal to her. the fact i didnt get anything dont even bother me as much as the sexual thing... Am i wrong to being hurt?!? Dowes she has low sex drive? Are we sexually incompatible?
I hope to read some opinions. TNX
ick , bad relationship, bad relationship. (alarms)
I just cant figure it out - why there was a time (half a year in relationship) she was eager to have sex with me - time when she was inviting herself to my place... sex didt become magically good all of sudden...
She's just not that into you any more. If she was really in love with you she'd want to see you all the time. Im thinking she sees this as a casual relationship.
I'm seeing 2 issues here -
1. She is losing interest, or finding it elsewhere - having a dog sleep over sounds like total bull to me (my brother has an 80 pound lab who sleeps with him and his girlfriend would stay over all the time)
2. You place too much emphasis on sex. You really haven't mentioned what else you do together (other than making dinner for her), or what you like (or love) about her.
I would be curious to know how she acts around you. Does she act distant, cold, or moody? Really pay attention to her behavior. And make more of an effort to do things other than sex. It sounds like you just make dinner for her with the hopes that she'll do it with you after.
I just cant figure it out - why there was a time (half a year in relationship) she was eager to have sex with me - time when she was inviting herself to my place... sex didt become magically good all of sudden...
Maybe she wants more out of the relationship than just sex....do you?
well maybe i want more then sex ONCE every 5,6,7 weeks?
there is a relationship WITHOUT Sex... every other aspect of relationship is there, except sex...
did you read anything i just wrote?
so my needs (which are perfectly normal needs in a healthy relationship) dont matter and only her needs are important? Wheres logic here?
expecting sex few times per month is unrealistic or what???
its not a booty call, i love her and she knows it. she even said to me not that long ago that she has never doubted that i do love her.
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, bad relationship, bad relationship. (alarms)
