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Every post i see on facebook is about a baby, or how much they love their SO.
Babies, I can understand, especially if it's their first or only child, and the kid is less than a few years old. But after a while, if that's all someone posts, I tend to either scroll right past it or, if it's excessive, unfollow the person. I get that parenthood is important, but if you sacrifice all of your identity to your kids, well, you're boring. I'd rather look at cat pictures.
People who natter on about how much they love their SOs are unfollowed immediately. Happy anniversary, fine, but my friends are all adults and that "I wuv oo poopie poo" stuff is juvenile.
I suggest that you just unfollow these people.
And for heaven's sake, you don't owe anyone grandchildren. That is in the top 3 worst reasons to have kids, right up there with thinking you're producing a caregiver for your old age and "OMG, what if I DON'T have kids? What if I regret it?"
I'm noticing when I get on Facebook, and in real life, everyone I personally know is either engaged, just married, has a baby, or is buying a house(for the new family). Sure, there's a couple of single people I know but not many. I'm still single after several years unfortunately. I've done a lot of work to improve myself but nothing is happening. My friends and acquaintances are moving into a new chapter in life which involves a serious relationship or family. I'm unfortunately not. Every post i see on facebook is about a baby, or how much they love their SO. I'm honestly feeling like a failure and I voluntarily apologized to my mum for not giving her grandchildren. Who has been through/going through feeling like this?
You have no idea how lucky you are. I am also single and almost everyone I know isn't. I am not concerned with what anyone else is doing or whether people are embarking on new chapters that involve serious relationships etc. Even if everyone is walking along the same road, everyone takes a different path. What you are doing is judging your worth and progression by societies blueprint of conformity and status quo. You need to find your own path and do what you want to do in your own time, no one elses and certainly not societies or facebooks.
You see being single as something unfortunate but I see it as something great and freeing. Maybe our perception colours our world. I used to be like you though, I used to measure myself against other peoples lives until I realised that it was foolish to do so. You may or may not realise the same thing but I hope you do.
The last guy I knew that had your mindset panicked one day and married the first thing he found that was female. He didn't marry for love, he did not think about it for any length of time and he didn't spend time weighing up his compatibility or requirements. Quite soon after he had got married he started trying to shame me for being single. As far as he was concerned he was now like everyone else, part of the team and he no longer had to worry about standing out or being questioned.
You should read the parable of the poisoned well and see if you take anything from that.
...And just because everyone around you is getting married and some may be having kids, OP, doesn't mean they're making sound decisions. You've done the right thing for you, so far; you've kept yourself out of divorce court, and out of child-support-payments. You're being true to yourself, and harming no one by doing so. Keep on keepin' on. And don't undermine yourself by wishing you were someone else.
So you are saying that everyone who gets married eventually ends up divorced, harming each other, and the husband ends up paying child support?
Dear OP...I know how you feel because I have been there...I started feeling that way when I was around 23 or 24 everyone from college moved on got married, and then there I was feeling alone and like a failure. My advice is to get out more...make yourself get involved with some hobbies and then you will meet like minded people. Everyone has their own pace in life. For me once I got into late 20's found like minded friends and actually forgot about a lot of my old friends from college and high school. You will get there so don't fret!
Alot of these posts make me wonder about what goes on with my friends besides what gets displayed on facebook.
It's like those Christmas newsletters some people send. Nobody talks about the time that they had to bail Johnny out of jail, or take Muffy for an abortion so she wouldn't flunk out of school. They just tell you about their summer in France, mom's bridge club, and dad's charitable work in the community, and the school play one of the kids played a supporting role in.
I'm noticing when I get on Facebook, and in real life, everyone I personally know is either engaged, just married, has a baby, or is buying a house(for the new family). Sure, there's a couple of single people I know but not many. I'm still single after several years unfortunately. I've done a lot of work to improve myself but nothing is happening. My friends and acquaintances are moving into a new chapter in life which involves a serious relationship or family. I'm unfortunately not. Every post i see on facebook is about a baby, or how much they love their SO. I'm honestly feeling like a failure and I voluntarily apologized to my mum for not giving her grandchildren. Who has been through/going through feeling like this?
My God, are you kidding? Give it another 5 or 10 years and 2 out of 3 will be on their second marriage, divorced, widow, widower, and hitting all the dating sites. Almost like the tortoise and the hare. Trust me on this. Sit back and watch.
Besides, you are better off to have no spouse than a bad one?
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And don't undermine yourself by wishing you were someone else.
