Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,753,896 times
Reputation: 41381
Advertisements
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43
Diss, I really think you can be a pain sometimes, but this is really an empathic and kind post. .
Well, even though I am an antagonist by nature, I can relate to what the man in the OP is going through. 4 years ago, my father passed away and him and my mother hated each other. My mother had enough wisdom to give me a little space because the last thing I wanted to hear was how my father did this and that to us. I also had to deal with a new job and broken leg, so I was not a good person to be around at that time. Thankfully mom understood that.
We will be spreading the ashes of my sister's boyfriend's wife this June, with her kids and family friends. My sisters feelings were hurt at how things were set up, but we talked and she feels better now.
What?
Wait...he was a widow first...before they were dating, right?
Location: IN>Germany>ND>OH>TX>CA>Currently NoVa and a Vacation Lake House in PA
3,259 posts, read 4,335,726 times
Reputation: 13476
Quote:
Originally Posted by usamathman
Suck up your pride and give the guy a call to see how he is doing.
You are thinking about yourself way too much.
I would agree with this. You're driving yourself crazy, when all you have to do is initiate contact. I would add that the OP is over thinking the entire situation. You're in the early stages of your relationship, and if it's going to fail it will likely be now. Just prepare yourself to move on. I'm not sure at just one year out from such a long marriage he's ready for anything serious anyway.
Wait...he was a widow first...before they were dating, right?
That is a emphatic "yes'.
__________________ ____________________________________________
My posts as a Mod will always be in red.
Be sure to review Terms of Service: TOS
And check this out: FAQ
Moderator: Relationships Forum / Hawaii Forum / Dogs / Pets / Current Events
Well, I texted him monday, having not heard from him since thursday nite. I just said, 'I've been thinking about you and hope all's well', he texted back 'Everything's fine'. I asked him to call me, and what I feared happened. He said '...It was a tough week...this is new for me...you're the first person I've dated...I'm just taking my time...I hope you stay around because I'd like to see you again...I'll talk to you later..." The thing is, I want to see him again, and hope to develop a relationship with him, but I know I shouldn't just wait for him to call.
Also, I just met someone else, who seems like a great guy too (when it rains it pours) but I don't know 'how' to date him, while hoping the other guy will come around; this sounds shady. I suppose I could be honest with both and say I'm seeing someone else too. I would not be intimate with either while dating both; I can't imagine that would go over well?
What are your thoughts? I'm looking for sincere, not mean-spirited advice please.
Well, I texted him monday, having not heard from him since thursday nite. I just said, 'I've been thinking about you and hope all's well', he texted back 'Everything's fine'. I asked him to call me, and what I feared happened. He said '...It was a tough week...this is new for me...you're the first person I've dated...I'm just taking my time...I hope you stay around because I'd like to see you again...I'll talk to you later..." The thing is, I want to see him again, and hope to develop a relationship with him, but I know I shouldn't just wait for him to call.
Also, I just met someone else, who seems like a great guy too (when it rains it pours) but I don't know 'how' to date him, while hoping the other guy will come around; this sounds shady. I suppose I could be honest with both and say I'm seeing someone else too. I would not be intimate with either while dating both; I can't imagine that would go over well?
What are your thoughts? I'm looking for sincere, not mean-spirited advice please.
I'd move on if I didn't hear anything from him this weekend.
As a guy your age i would say something is amiss with this dude. If he is interested a short phone call wouldnt hurt. I agree he is dealing with stuff prior to you, but it doesn't mean he can't at least call. If you are interested in someone else since it has been a brief time I think I would explore the other guy. I would not mention the other to either until you see how it goes. Since you and the first guy or not exclusive, he really has no need to know. Especially if you are not going to be intimate with number 2.
Well, I texted him monday, having not heard from him since thursday nite. I just said, 'I've been thinking about you and hope all's well', he texted back 'Everything's fine'. I asked him to call me, and what I feared happened. He said '...It was a tough week...this is new for me...you're the first person I've dated...I'm just taking my time...I hope you stay around because I'd like to see you again...I'll talk to you later..." The thing is, I want to see him again, and hope to develop a relationship with him, but I know I shouldn't just wait for him to call.
Also, I just met someone else, who seems like a great guy too (when it rains it pours) but I don't know 'how' to date him, while hoping the other guy will come around; this sounds shady. I suppose I could be honest with both and say I'm seeing someone else too. I would not be intimate with either while dating both; I can't imagine that would go over well?
What are your thoughts? I'm looking for sincere, not mean-spirited advice please.
It honestly doesn't sound like he's really ready to be in a relationship. His wife of 34 years just passed away a year ago and I don't think he has moved on to a point where he is ready to date you or anybody else. I mean just think about how long that is... that is a long time to be with someone. Can you really imagine being married for 30-plus years and having all that love, all those memories, all those dreams and years together taken away from you? It's not that he doesn't like you or that he is being rude, it's simply that he's probably NOT ready for a relationship and is having a difficult time communicating these feelings to you. This is not about giving him space (he may need YEARS to move passed this) it's about you finding a better fit for yourself. I think you should move on.
Sounds like he enjoyed his time with you but is in no way ready to commit to a relationship. You are the first person he's dated since his wife died. I can't imagine he'd want to commit to anything now.
That's not fair. As long as she is going to therapy for the BPD, she is allowed to have a life.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
.
