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Who wants half a relationship? Half a man? I honestly think that if you respect this woman, you need to tell her that you don't want a real relationship. I've had the wool pulled over my eyes by a man who wanted the exact same thing, and he intentionally didn't tell me so he could have his cake and eat it too. You need to be very explicit about being friends with benefits, so she won't become emotionally vested.
Some women would want a part time relationship with a man. Not every woman wants to walk down the aisle. He is monogamous, he just doesn't want to intertwine lives at this point.
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That's pretty sad Yaz. She sent you a picture of the shiny key.. and you can't take it, man. It goes against your grain so you're stringing her along and you know it !
IE: Bad Boys, Bad Boys, Whatcha' gonna do when they run from you?
Not true, my friend.
I am not stringing her along and she knows very well what I want. It's way too soon for this cohabitation thing for both of us. Her divorce was final July 2014. Mine.....November 2014.
She lost her home; I bought my ex out.
While it's a cool old house, I wouldn't have purchased it as a single man. This is my deal and the last thing that I would want a nice lady to do is to have another project.
I am not her project.
She is a "giver", and I recognized that right away. This is her third relationship since her divorce and she is my first. Marriage is in her blood, maybe.......or my first thought was that she was "needy." (Everyone's needy, BTW....even me)......
But here's the thing that stands out:
She is a professor and a retired high school teacher. She's fine financially (somewhat), and very attractive. I'm a retired auto worker on my second career.
We don't have to be married to have a life together. She's a half an hour's drive from my home and lives in a really upscale apt. community. It fits for her.
I'm in an older subdivision with two garages and a swimming pool. Two dogs, just as many cats, and all kinds of gardening to do. Not to mention house upgrades which I'm in the process of.
What I'm sayin' is that we're both self sufficient. There's no need to change that. And intermingling finances at this point of my life is a big risk.
I am not stringing her along and she knows very well what I want. It's way too soon for this cohabitation thing for both of us. Her divorce was final July 2014. Mine.....November 2014.
She lost her home; I bought my ex out.
While it's a cool old house, I wouldn't have purchased it as a single man. This is my deal and the last thing that I would want a nice lady to do is to have another project.
I am not her project.
She is a "giver", and I recognized that right away. This is her third relationship since her divorce and she is my first. Marriage is in her blood, maybe.......or my first thought was that she was "needy." (Everyone's needy, BTW....even me)......
But here's the thing that stands out:
She is a professor and a retired high school teacher. She's fine financially (somewhat), and very attractive. I'm a retired auto worker on my second career.
We don't have to be married to have a life together. She's a half an hour's drive from my home and lives in a really upscale apt. community. It fits for her.
I'm in an older subdivision with two garages and a swimming pool. Two dogs, just as many cats, and all kinds of gardening to do. Not to mention house upgrades which I'm in the process of.
What I'm sayin' is that we're both self sufficient. There's no need to change that. And intermingling finances at this point of my life is a big risk.
HUGE.
^^ I was being ornery and sarcastic.. Do take your time-- I agree.
Who wants half a relationship? Half a man? I honestly think that if you respect this woman, you need to tell her that you don't want a real relationship. I've had the wool pulled over my eyes by a man who wanted the exact same thing, and he intentionally didn't tell me so he could have his cake and eat it too. You need to be very explicit about being friends with benefits, so she won't become emotionally vested.
I totally get what you're saying, Melissa...and thanks for your response. I don't want the FWB thing, a real relationship is in order.
Allow me to clarify that I was upfront & honest from the beginning. I'm just not in a position to get married right now.
Special ladies deserve to be treated special, and I do my best to deliver.
Big diamond rings aren't always the best answer.
Ah, my new boyfriend! At last! You've got a fourth going on here that you are not aware of, from Arkansas! I have keys!!
\
( good luck to you both, seriously) Take it slow.. she sounds like a real dish.
Ah, my new boyfriend! At last! You've got a fourth going on here that you are not aware of, from Arkansas! I have keys!!
\
( good luck to you both, seriously) Take it slow.. she sounds like a real dish.
What a sweetie!
Thanks a bunch!
I still feel that marriage is a wonderful institution, but there's a time and place for it.
My biggest concern is that folks think that there's some kind of time ticker that sets off when you're s'posed to be married. We have this preconceived notion that we're gonna get married and have kids and life will be "normal."
Then we realize that the person that we committed to may not be the "right one." Whatever that means...
So the assets are split, the kids are messed up, and we now have two families scratchin' their heads sayin'....."what in the hell happened?"
To be fair, if you've never been divorced, you don't know what it could possibly be like. I've heard divorces can be the equivalent of hell.
Or they can be handled with respect for the love you once had for your future-former. To this day, I think that despite all the issues we had, my divorce is one of the friendliest on the record books.
"You want this?"
"No, you take it. I know how much you love it."
"No, you sure? You paid for it."
"I'm sure."
"Okay, well, then you take that. You'll get more use out of it than I will."
‘Ultimately, men know there’s a good chance they’ll lose their friends, their respect, their space, their sex life, their money and — if it all goes wrong — their family,’
Say what? lol! The author is wacked. I'm still friends with my married friends, they haven't lost me or their other friends, or their respect, their family, etc. More sensationalist grist for the mill. The Daily Fail doesn't speak for me or my friends.
for every divorced couple in my circle of friends and aquaintences, ONE of the spouses disappeared...whether they were ostracized or stopped coming around on their own, they are gone...friends is definitely something that usually gets split up, NOT shared...
I am married...if I could go back I would not change that...for one reason ONLY...my daughter
I am still married for ONE reason only...my daughter
I don't hate my wife, we don't cheat...we still have fun on rare occasions, fight a little too much
I just would be happier if I wasn't someones assistant...which is what most husbands are trained for
I will NEVER EVER marry again...if we did divorce...which will probably happen when my child is much older...I would rather be gang raped in a Jamaican prison for 10 years than get married again...
NOTHING kills passion like sharing a household and paying bills together...
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You've got a fourth going on here that you are not aware of, from Arkansas! I have keys!! 
