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However, the concept of women having power is just an illusion. You see, men can use money to buy sex and companionship. It may not be ideal but it's something. The kind of relationships women want are not for sale. Women must invest much more time and effort to get what they want whereas men can just buy it a la carte. The feminist movement in the guise of liberating women has made sex a commodity and it is suiting men just fine! LOL!
News flash: sex has always been a commodity, since the dawn of time. They don't call it "the world's oldest profession" for nothing. Duh.
I'm sorry that you are living your life as a martyr. That's sad but not uncommon. I don't know if people who do that are noble or weak. I can't decide. I wasn't able to do it myself, and I got a lot of flack and judgment when I divorced the father of my children. My kids are happy and healthy adults now and they are thriving, so I don't beat myself up about it (anymore).
As for the bolded, I think women are equally, if not more so, "trained" to be their husband's assistant. I experienced that feeling in my first marriage, so I know what you mean. In my current marriage, we are true partners. It's a completely different experience and we work/live/play together well.
I enjoy sharing a household and paying bills with my husband and there's still plenty of passion. It's only been seven years, so that's not a long time in the scheme of things, I know. But we've been through a lot and it hasn't all been roses. Still, our passion and love for each other grows deeper and more solid every day.
It appears that you took all of the lessons from your first marriage and incorporated them into your present one.
Smart.
I find humor in the idea that life imitates art. I'm thinking about that classic movie "The Seven Year Itch." I'm not sure about everyone else, but our marriage had a huge turning point at the seven year mark. I like to think that if a marriage can work for seven years, it can work for seventy.
I'm sorry that you are living your life as a martyr. That's sad but not uncommon. I don't know if people who do that are noble or weak. I can't decide. I wasn't able to do it myself, and I got a lot of flack and judgment when I divorced the father of my children. My kids are happy and healthy adults now and they are thriving, so I don't beat myself up about it (anymore).
As for the bolded, I think women are equally, if not more so, "trained" to be their husband's assistant. I experienced that feeling in my first marriage, so I know what you mean. In my current marriage, we are true partners. It's a completely different experience and we work/live/play together well.
I enjoy sharing a household and paying bills with my husband and there's still plenty of passion. It's only been seven years, so that's not a long time in the scheme of things, I know. But we've been through a lot and it hasn't all been roses. Still, our passion and love for each other grows deeper and more solid every day.
Good post, Butterfly. I agree with what you say about women being more trained to be their husband's assistants. I wasn't my husband's partner, because he didn't want a partner. I was his employee, there to ensure his life ran as smoothly as possible, but to never question his authority or seniority.
I'm so glad to hear about your happiness with your second husband. Maybe, just maybe, I can find that kind of happy partnership with someone, too!
Good post, Butterfly. I agree with what you say about women being more trained to be their husband's assistants. I wasn't my husband's partner, because he didn't want a partner. I was his employee there to ensure his life ran as smoothly as possible, but to never question his authority or seniority.
I'm so glad to hear about your happiness with your second husband. Maybe, just maybe, I can find that kind of happy partnership with someone, too!
I hope that you do, newdixiegirl. I was going to say that every woman should be loved but actually I think its true for us all. I wish every man and woman who seek it, find love that is deep and true.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,701 posts, read 41,816,786 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223
Well, that kind of makes me sad for you, D. If you don't love yourself, who will?
Wait a minute. I don't have none of that self-love issue . I'm just saying I doubt that I'm capable of true love and also blunt, cold people like me have hard times in relationships.
Wait a minute. I don't have none of that self-love issue . I'm just saying I doubt that I'm capable of true love and also blunt, cold people like me have hard times in relationships.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,701 posts, read 41,816,786 times
Reputation: 41403
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
Well.......maybe you come across differently in person than you do here. But you seem guarded, at best. Not the warm and cuddly type, or the bubbly or outgoing type. (Or not that we've had the opp'ty to see.) And if someone got to know you, they might bump up against that anger that's below the surface. I think you could be the greatest thing since sliced bread for someone. But the prickliness needs to soften up.
Well, of course none of that is secret. I'm very guarded, not or ever been warm and cuddly (I almost vomited just typing that), and I find bubbly and outgoing people super annoying. I'm working on the anger issues. But please believe the Diss will always retain some prickliness. A lot of people will be turned off by it, but I really don't care, this is who I am.
Wait a minute. I don't have none of that self-love issue . I'm just saying I doubt that I'm capable of true love and also blunt, cold people like me have hard times in relationships.
Sure you are. You just need to shake off some old baggage first, and open up that heart. Being blunt, cold, is a choice. (It may not feel like it now, but it kind of is.) Life is so much more rewarding when you're diplomatic and warm. (I didn't say you had to lie, I said "diplomatic". There's a difference. )
You can do it, Diss. If you set your mind to it, and your heart.
Well, of course none of that is secret. I'm very guarded, not or ever been warm and cuddly (I almost vomited just typing that), and I find bubbly and outgoing people super annoying. I'm working on the anger issues. But please believe the Diss will always retain some prickliness. A lot of people will be turned off by it, but I really don't care, this is who I am.
lol! See, now that's funny! You're cute in spite of yourself, Diss. (I'm wearing my vomit guard.) OK, you can keep some prickliness. But somewhere underneath all that is a soft heart waiting to be discovered and acknowledged. By you. But, take your time. These things take time. You've taken an important first step. Easy does it.
Marriage is most certainly a bad deal for men. There simply is no good argument for marriage.
* "It's a token of commitment and love" - Get a ring. That's a token. No need to create a corporation which splits its assets at the end.
* "It's romantic" - Irrelevant.
* "Financial security" - No. It doesn't create financial security for men. Quite the opposite.
* It doesn't make you love the other person more.
* It kind of makes you like brother and sister.
* Once she's your wife, it's like she's reached the end. There's no incentive for her to remain attractive.
* A huge proportion of marriages end in divorce, which is an even worse deal for men than marriage, and is in fact one of the biggest reasons why marriage is a bad deal for men to begin with.
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. I'm just saying I doubt that I'm capable of true love and also blunt, cold people like me have hard times in relationships.
