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I am married...if I could go back I would not change that...for one reason ONLY...my daughter
I am still married for ONE reason only...my daughter
I don't hate my wife, we don't cheat...we still have fun on rare occasions, fight a little too much
I just would be happier if I wasn't someones assistant...which is what most husbands are trained for
I will NEVER EVER marry again...if we did divorce...which will probably happen when my child is mucholder...I would rather be gang raped in a Jamaican prison for 10 years than get married again...
NOTHING kills passion like sharing a household and paying bills together...
Wow. I thought I was the only one who feels this way about marriage and the routine of day-to-day life killing passion. I always say to my family and closest friends that I'd rather be waterboarded every day for an entire year than to get married again. It would be less torturous.
At least you have the advantage of being a man, so you're "allowed" to feel the way you do about marriage long before I am, as a woman. Society still expects women to want want to get married, to romanticize it, and to always have it as their end goal, whether they've married before or not. It expects women to uphold the continuation and sanctity of the institution of marriage, while it considers a man's "natural" role to want to dodge it for as long as possible.
When I've told men I've been out on dates with that I doubt I want to marry again, they act shocked, and when I bravely expressed to a guy I work with my general feelings about marriage (essentially, the same thing you've said), he looked at me like I had 5 heads.
Having said all of that, I DO agree with those who say that MOST divorces occur because people marry someone they're incompatible with in ways that really matter and that make or break a LTR. I know very well my ex-husband 's culpability in the demise of our relationship, but, ultimately, I have to take most of the blame, and I do, because I could have avoided divorce had I not married him in the first place. It's no one's fault but my own that I didn't heed that little voice inside me that told me consistently years ago that he was not the one for me.
I do think marriage between two compatible, emotionally healthy and generous people can be a beautiful thing (I love hearing about happy marriages), but, as smart and highly selective as I am, I'm not sure I'd make the right choice a second time. And there absolutely would be NO third. I'm sorry, but people who want to marry again after 2 divorces scare me.
Last edited by newdixiegirl; 04-21-2015 at 12:48 PM..
Uh, having cancer very very much can have people reevaluate their lives and what is important in their lives. Very much so. I've known many people make drastic lifestyle changes after having cancer and deciding, F it, I'm going to enjoy life.
Having never had cancer, I guess I don't know, but I don't buy that having a potentially fatal disease gives you the green light to do whatever you want... Yeah, re-evaluate life and bang every dude in sight?
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,050,212 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Beezwacks
Yeah, re-evaluate life and bang every dude in sight?
Sure. Absolutely. They decided, F it, I want to party / have fun / feel good and I don't give a crap what society thinks (which is a point of view more people should have before facing death).
Not surprising at all. I've seen people do more drastic things after surviving cancer, really.
Well.......maybe you come across differently in person than you do here. But you seem guarded, at best. Not the warm and cuddly type, or the bubbly or outgoing type. (Or not that we've had the opp'ty to see.) And if someone got to know you, they might bump up against that anger that's below the surface. I think you could be the greatest thing since sliced bread for someone. But the prickliness needs to soften up.
You folks are kidding yourselves if you think there are no men and some women deciding to opt out of marriage because of the cost of divorce. Yes the rate of divorce is down, but so is the rate of marriage. There are only about 1/2 of all adult Americans that are married, and the percentage keeps dropping. Sure, some women are rejecting marriage, but so are men. Some men are waking up and getting very angry about their second class status in the home and society in general. If you don't believe me, google MGTOW on YouTube and see what comes up.
And the person who said that marriage is a total win for men is living a fantasy. Some studies have shown that they get less sex after they get married. They have a 50% chance of a divorce, and 90% chance that if there is a divorce, she will get the kids, he will get the child support. This isn't happening just because of a few rich men who have gotten taken to the cleaners. LOts of men have been destroyed by their exwives.
And no, there was no indication that my SIL was as crazy as she was. She was crazy about my brother and absolutely devoted to him, until he wouldn't give her another baby.
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