Marriage not a good deal for men? (cheated, young, kids)
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Hell, when I married my wife, I hit the freaking lottery.
Lot of bitter losers in this world.
you are NOT the norm...look at divorce statistics
I guess its easier to chalk that up to everyone ELSE being a loser...but that's poop...marriage is a doomed institution...flawed...but I am happy for you (sincerely)...I envy someone who can say what you say about your wife, I truly do
Marry the right person. Then it's a good deal. I can honestly say I'm open to the idea of getting married now. I look at my mother's marriage and she's so happy with my stepfather. To add to their happiness, they're expecting a daughter in August. Life is good.
ALMOST EVERYONE marries the right person, unless you are a complete idiot...who the hell marries the wrong person
the problem is people change, and todays right person is tomorrows wrong person
marriage, 20 to 40 years...that's a LONG time...think of all the events, some life changing, that can happen...friend of mine had a perfect life, perfect wife, very happy...she got skin cancer, lost some flesh, close brush with death, chemo, hair loss....one year into remission and she started banging every dude in sight...drinking, partying, very irresponsible behavior...NEVER did that before...DIVORCE...we still email and she admits t was the cancer that changed her...
if you marry someone expecting them to stay the same person for 1/2 a century you are frickin nuts lol...hopefully, on the rare occasions, the two grow and change together...sometimes anyways
Some of you don't realize the hurt, pain and damage that divorce has caused to many children and husbands and wives, and just write them all off as losers. My brother ended up divorced by his nutty wife. He was finally able to prove she was an unfit mother, but it took years of her neglect. After the divorce, she ended up in the house, with the kids and my brothers money, while he lived in my mothers basement. 1/2 of all marriages end in divorce, 70% filed by the wife. Many men are deciding that they are not going to marry or have children because of the damage and abuse so many other men have suffered from getting divorced or even getting sent to jail because they couldn't make their child support payments.
If you had actually read the article, you'd know some of this. This is why the marriage rate and the fertility rate continues to drop. If this continues, our society will not be a pretty sight.
NOTHING kills passion like sharing a household and paying bills together...
I do believe this. When I get married, I'm not going to live under the same roof. Why? Because that's not what marriage is about.
Marriage isn't about having kids. It's not about buying the McMansion. It's not about intertwining lives so tightly that you're in each others' space. You don't even have to live in the same city as your spouse! I work in academia, and many tenured professors have this arrangement, and they are perfectly happy together living apart and spending summers and holidays together.
Make the rules that you can live with -- not the ones society tells you that you "should" follow. I am particular against marrying for kids. If you want to have kids, do NOT GET MARRIED. You don't need a piece of paper to procreate. The parent-child relationship remains the same, regardless of the parents' martial status, and I suspect that childfree marriages are totally blissful compared to those with kids in the mix. You don't need a piece of paper to live together, either. If you want a roommate with benefits, just shack up!
The only thing you need to ask yourself is this: Do I want to know if my Beloved Other is in a car wreck? Do I want the legal privilege to by his or her side then? If the answer is "yes", then marry them! It's really that simple.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,012,374 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lucky2balive
you are NOT the norm...look at divorce statistics
I guess its easier to chalk that up to everyone ELSE being a loser...but that's poop...marriage is a doomed institution...flawed...but I am happy for you (sincerely)...I envy someone who can say what you say about your wife, I truly do
Divorce rates are way down since the late 70s and early 80s, especially for first marriages which are overwhelmingly likely to succeed. Especially if the couple is in their 30s or 40s and graduated college, at a minimum
The Daily Mail is a British daily middle-market tabloid newspaper.....Yea, I'm not going to read anything from the Daily Mail. What a great, reputable source. Nice try though.
you are NOT the norm...look at divorce statistics
I guess its easier to chalk that up to everyone ELSE being a loser...but that's poop...marriage is a doomed institution...flawed...but I am happy for you (sincerely)...I envy someone who can say what you say about your wife, I truly do
Pshaw. Divorces as a percentage of marriages has dropped quite a bit since their peak in the 80s.
Let's see. Better-than-even odds of lifetime partnership with someone who thinks you're the best thing since sliced bread? Only an idiot wouldn't give it a shot.
ALMOST EVERYONE marries the right person, unless you are a complete idiot...who the hell marries the wrong person
the problem is people change, and todays right person is tomorrows wrong person
marriage, 20 to 40 years...that's a LONG time...think of all the events, some life changing, that can happen...friend of mine had a perfect life, perfect wife, very happy...she got skin cancer, lost some flesh, close brush with death, chemo, hair loss....one year into remission and she started banging every dude in sight...drinking, partying, very irresponsible behavior...NEVER did that before...DIVORCE...we still email and she admits t was the cancer that changed her...
if you marry someone expecting them to stay the same person for 1/2 a century you are frickin nuts lol...hopefully, on the rare occasions, the two grow and change together...sometimes anyways
Most people than you think. It's amazing to me how many people marry someone because of physical attraction, yet don't pay attention to who the person is underneath. Boobs sag. Hairlines recede. Waistlines expand. But the heart and soul and intellect remain.
Again, people who get married straight out of school are the ones most likely to get divorced. Why? Because you change more in your first five years out of school than you will for the rest of your life. Your friends, your tastes, your worldview, your opinions. That's when a person becomes the person he or she will be for the rest of his or her life.
It also explains why the divorce rate plunges for people who wait until they're thirty to get married. And one anecdote doesn't really change that one bit.
Some of you don't realize the hurt, pain and damage that divorce has caused to many children and husbands and wives, and just write them all off as losers. My brother ended up divorced by his nutty wife. He was finally able to prove she was an unfit mother, but it took years of her neglect. After the divorce, she ended up in the house, with the kids and my brothers money, while he lived in my mothers basement. 1/2 of all marriages end in divorce, 70% filed by the wife. Many men are deciding that they are not going to marry or have children because of the damage and abuse so many other men have suffered from getting divorced or even getting sent to jail because they couldn't make their child support payments.
If you had actually read the article, you'd know some of this. This is why the marriage rate and the fertility rate continues to drop. If this continues, our society will not be a pretty sight.
Most people than you think. It's amazing to me how many people marry someone because of physical attraction, yet don't pay attention to who the person is underneath. Boobs sag. Hairlines recede. Waistlines expand. But the heart and soul and intellect remain.
Or, too, couples who should be talking about breaking up get engaged to save the relationship. Sure, they get caught up with the excitement for a while, but then the honeymoon phase ends and all the problems that they had are still there.
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