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While I've never dated coworkers (I'm in a female dominated profession), the same applies when becoming friends with coworkers.... I really try to avoid doing that because it has always ended up causing a lot of problems for me in the end.
I did date 2 guys who work in my field though who don't work at my site. With one of them (I kid you not) I ended up interviewing for a position at his site and he was one of the people interviewing me! The other (again not kidding), ended up getting transferred to my site 1 day a week!
"Don't **** where you work" is a pointless restriction because no one ever follows it, and nor should they.
If you work in the white collar world, chances are that 75%-95% of your waking hours are spent at work, with a mixture of males and females, and your interaction with those coworkers can be as intimate as team projects that last late into the night or work parties where the alcohol flows freely. It's not much different than the setup you have for meetings peers in college.
No, I'm not in a work relationship, but basic reasoning tells me that the next woman I develop an interest for will most likely be at wherever I work at the time.
Not even remotely, dude. Life is about a lot more than work. This is another one of your threads that's mostly theory and speculation on your part. Let us know when you get some experience with reality. Take advantage of all the entertainment options, watering holes, and activities in your town to meet people outside of work. It's a huge world out there.
Last edited by NewbiePoster; 05-08-2015 at 04:47 PM..
I have never in my entire working life had any romantic feelings or romantic interaction with anyone I have worked with.
I went to work, did my job, went home and had a life outside of work.
Romance, Religion and Politics do not mix well with business environments.
^^^ same here, to the point that I do not socialize with anyone if I can avoid it, I don't invite anyone to my home either. In fact at my last two jobs where I worked 7+ years each, no one even knew where I live.
I try not to go to lunch with my co-workers, mainly because all they do is talk about work or gossipping, and I want my lunch hour away from all that crap.
I want to spend my lunch hour my way, sometimes alone, sometimes with my friends who don't work there.
I do participate in "social events" organized by work, but I do not go to drinking parties after work. I don't single out anyone, or belong to a clique, or participate in gossip, back stabing, a$$ kissing etc.
I just try my best to separate my working life from my private life.
Don't get me wrong - I get along with everyone just fine, but all that is just on professional level, and only work related.
Relationship at work is not for me anyway, because I believe in personal space, and would not want to be around my SO 24/7. Having space is critical to the success of lasting relationship.
There's no business like show business - there's no business I know!
I met my husband on tour - I was a performer and he was on the stage crew. My previous serious relationship was with a guitar player that I met at summer stock. My ex boyfriend met his wife on tour - they were both performers. One of my other friends met her husband on a cruise ship - she was a dancer and he was a musician. In my business - it's really just a given that people are going to hook up - sometimes short term and sometimes long term.
This is a good point, the business you are in influences the risk level of dating a co-worker. What flies fine in show biz probably won't fly at all in a law office.
I've never started dating someone I've worked with....but my husband and I have worked for the same company for years....in fact when he was hired in at this one...I had a job there within 6 months. (Same industry...I am working for an old boss from other company we all worked for in the past....lol).
It doesn't have to be a big deal unless both partners are not adults about it and are going to freak out over a break up.
Have to completely agree that dating someone at work is not a good idea. Post #16 really sums up why this is a poor move in almost all cases.
Speaking for myself, women sometimes hit on me @ work - and I've been tempted to do date some of them over the years. However, I'm extremely glad I haven't for numerous reasons:
1) I want to keep work & my personal home life separate.
2) One of my many fears re: dating someone at work is that when the relationship ends (and I know it will, since I'm not into LTR's), and she'll get pissed with me. And, later, she'll end up being my manager - or have some other kind of supervisory position above me. Which could really make work uncomfortable.
2) Though I find some of the women I work with attractive, the fact that we work together turns me off to some extent - i.e., I can't help but think about work whenever I'm around them.
3) I don't want any women from work to know the $%$# I'm into in the bedroom.
4) Even though I'm in my 40's, the only relationships I'm interested in at this point are FWB/casual hook-ups (due to numerous failed LTR's). I can't see how I could even bring that up with a woman I work with.
Sure, a discreet one-night stand where I knew the woman wouldn't spread it around the office - and with the mutual understanding beforehand that this would be a one-time thing - would be great, but I don't see that ever happening....
I think Tony Soprano said it best. In one of The Sopranos episodes he went with his group to Italy, in order to look into combining his forces with a faction of the Italian mafia. The leader of the Italian group he was talking to was an extremely attractive woman who came onto him - he turned her down, saying, "I don't s$#@ where I eat." Good advice...
Last edited by The Big Lebowski Dude; 05-08-2015 at 11:10 PM..
I met my husband at work....however...we were in different branches located in different areas of town, under different sets of management. In the same workplace with daily interaction? Bad, bad idea. I've seen things with good beginnings and intentions that get really ugly, often dragging the entire workplace down into the mess. Someone invariably has to leave or gets fired. Even with a situation like mine, it's best kept on the down low to avoid becoming grist for the rumor mill. In general I think it a bad idea.
This. If you are in separate departments and don't interact professionally (ditto separate buildings) then maybe, but still be discrete. But anything else is playing with fire. All you need is one messy partner and it all goes up in flames.
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condom vending machines at the workplace 
