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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
Reputation: 40635
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Quote:
Originally Posted by justtitans
Let's nip this in the bud. Your issue isn't about if you think this is my business, your real issue is you disagree with my views. If you thought this was none of anyone's business then you would be saying the same thing to other posters on here, not just me. You singled me out because you want to make up a weak excuse for why I should not discuss this.
You're the OP, so you were singled out.
I don't give a crud about your views, other than you somehow think it is ok to judge strangers personal agreements within their relationship. That is between them, and only them. The end.
Quote:
Originally Posted by justtitans
It's hypocritical that you would even have this stance given that you are in a section of a website where all people do is talk about their personal business. If you really don't want to get into other people's business, particularly their relationship, this should be the last section on this site you are on. What sense does it make for you to come on the Relationship section of this site and say that people relationship's are no one else's business?
Yes, they talk about their personal business. And people have opinions on it. On this site.
Did the people in the article post here asking your or mine, or our opinions? No.
There is no hypocrisy because the situations are in no way analogous. If the woman in the article posted here, that would be a completely different story. (No, being an interview in a article isn't the same).
Quote:
Originally Posted by justtitans
Your question was answered in the article which is why I kept pointing you to read it.
And you keep bringing up the same point and I just explained to you why their vows mattered in this discussion.
No, you never did explain to me why vows matter here. And no it wasn't in the article. And, the term vow never was used once in the article. We have no idea what their vows are. Vows are not part of this conversation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by justtitans
I think you have made your point. I'm not going to stop my opinion, so let's move on. You are free to leave this conversation alone if you don't like the way it's going.
I'm free to do that, or to post. There are a lot of highly judgmental conservative busybodies that like to disapprove of other people's decisions here. This site (my opinion) would be better if there were less conservative uptight people chiming in.
Yeah I can't say I respect people who do this honestly. You're either married or not. If not, that's fine. If you're in a committed relationship of any type you should have no contact with people of the opposite gender virtually at all. That's how I consider a real relationship otherwise I would have no interest in being with a girl. Any other guy even touching my GF even hugging her is not something I'm cool with. No thanks!
My ex-best friend was like this and had a girlfriend but cheated on her constantly with everything that moved but it was "ok" because she knew about it. Whatever.
I don't give a crud about your views, other than you somehow think it is ok to judge strangers personal agreements within their relationship. That is between them, and only them. The end.
So where is the golden rule where you can have an opinion on someone having an opinion but you can't have an opinion on someone's relationship?
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
Yes, they talk about their personal business. And people have opinions on it. On this site.
Did the people in the article post here asking your or mine, or our opinions? No.
There is no hypocrisy because the situations are in no way analogous. If the woman in the article posted here, that would be a completely different story. (No, being an interview in a article isn't the same).
That's your rebuttal???????
They allowed a story about their lives be posted in a newspaper that is read around the world?????????
What is wrong with you? Are you serious? More people are going to read the Washington Post than come on this website. Why would they get a story posted in the Washington Post and not expect opinions?
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
No, you never did explain to me why vows matter here. And no it wasn't in the article. And, the term vow never was used once in the article. We have no idea what their vows are. Vows are not part of this conversation.
Again read the article, she stated that she was going to cheat on him before
talking to him. If they were not under the understanding of being in a
monogmous relationship then why does she need to have a conversation with him?
Some things are just clear whether they are stated or not.
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
I'm free to do that, or to post. There are a lot of highly judgmental conservative busybodies that like to disapprove of other people's decisions here. This site (my opinion) would be better if there were less conservative uptight people chiming in.
This thread is not about what you think about my opinion. Again I'm not changing just because you are harassing me.
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If you don't want people to have an opinion, don't put your story in a newspaper.
Anyway, all I am saying is I don't agree and I think it's wrong. I feel some type of way that people don't seem to take their vows very seriously. Consider the fact of how she lost her first marriage.
You think it's wrong, good for you, don't engage in that lifestyle. Who are you to make the decision for others? Her first marriage ended because of the sneaking and lying which she is trying to remove from the equation. And how do you know what their vows said?
Is ethical non-monogamy (open relationships) a trend? I don't think it is anymore than it always has been. I don't think there is any shift one way or another, this article is simply a couple sharing what they do in their own relationship. I don't care either way, because I don't participate in "ethical non-monogamy" and it's not my relationship, it's theirs.
Meh if some people want an open relationship....cool.
Me personally, I wouldn't do it. I can only have feelings for one person at a time and only want to be with one person. I would hope he feels the same way.
Having an opinion, on something you hear along these lines: Not wrong.
Thinking that this would be wrong FOR YOU: Not wrong.
Not really understanding how it works for those who do it: Not wrong.
Saying that no one SHOULD do this because you don't like it or agree with it: Makes you a jerk, or a fool, or both.
Rather like me saying that I don't care for sushi, therefore NO ONE SHOULD EAT SUSHI, EVER. Silliness.
Other people can do whatever, as long as they both are fully and sincerely consenting, then your opinion has no bearing on it. You can think whatever you want. But no one needs to feel compelled to behave any particular way to satisfy your judgmental self. Don't like it...don't do it. It's that simple.
Just because marriage has a very strict definition to you does not mean that others can't have a marriage that looks completely different.
Personally, I find a lot of resonance in this concept. I hate my marriage, which is for all intents and purposes over at this point. Fidelity wasn't the sticking point, but his jealous, insecure, and possessive behavior has been really hard to deal with. I didn't WANT to shut out the rest of the world, and while that's not to say I want to sleep with all of them either, I will enjoy being free in that manner as well. I never wanted to settle with only one sexual partner for the rest of my lifetime. I coped with it, but I never liked that. If I ever marry again it will probably only be to provide someone with health insurance or something practical, and I will never again commit to anything that isn't open. There are things I want to be able to do occasionally that I can't properly do in the context of a committed relationship with a partner I know and trust too well, or one whose respect I need in the day-to-day, or heck possibly even who is male.
I don't think that this sort of thing will ever be the normal that the majority of people do in relationships...but that doesn't mean that no one should do it.
A very good friend of mine was married for about 15 years. He and his wife decided on the "open marriage" concept to spice up their life a little bit.
Their divorce was finalized last month. That worked out well...
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