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How is it wrong when both people agree? Of course it's not the kids business, whatever you do sexually (with spouse or someone else) is none of their business.
You can say it's not right for YOU, but your beliefs should not be projected onto someone else's marriage.
No one is obligated to share all the details of their marriage with outsiders.
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It's up to the couple to revise their vows if they see fit. Vows that are taken when they were starry-eyed and infatuated with one another, and could not conceive of ever wanting something different.
Quote:
Originally Posted by justtitans
Okay but all I am saying is don't take vows if you aren't willing to commit for a lifetime.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by justtitans
If you don't want people to have an opinion, don't put your story in a newspaper.
Anyway, all I am saying is I don't agree and I think it's wrong. I feel some type of way that people don't seem to take their vows very seriously. Consider the fact of how she lost her first marriage.
Don't agree with what? It isn't your marriage. No one said you had to do it. If it is wrong for you, don't do it, simple.
Quote:
Originally Posted by justtitans
Okay but all I am saying is don't take vows if you aren't willing to commit for a lifetime.
They are committed. And did you read their vows? How do you know what they were?
Have you ever ever ever heard "I promise to be sexually monogamous with you for life" in someone's vows? I sure haven't.
How is it wrong when both people agree? Of course it's not the kids business, whatever you do sexually (with spouse or someone else) is none of their business.
You can say it's not right for YOU, but your beliefs should not be projected onto someone else's marriage.
No one is obligated to share all the details of their marriage with outsiders.
I don't have a problem with two people agreeing, but it's not what they originally started their marriage on and if you look at the premise of why she is doing it, she is not happy. That means, the relationship is not fulfilling to her. There is a deeper issue that isn't being addressed. Why does she feel the need to go outside of her committed relationship?
It's up to the couple to revise their vows if they see fit. Vows that are taken when they were starry-eyed and infatuated with one another, and could not conceive of ever wanting something different.
Don't agree with what? It isn't your marriage. No one said you had to do it. If it is wrong for you, don't do it, simple.
I'm not allowed to disagree with their decision?
Again just my opinion. That's not stopping them from doing whatever they want.
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
They are committed. And did you read their vows? How do you know what they were?
Have you ever ever ever heard "I promise to be sexually monogamous with you for life" in someone's vows? I sure haven't.
Read the article. She was originally going to step out of their marriage before. She was not fully committed to the relationship because she wasn't satisfied. The only difference is they made an agreement. The real issue again is, why does she keep having these feelings of being unsatisfied?
Then why be in a committed relationship? It seems contradictory. Why get married if you don't believe in being committed?
I suppose the answer would be that personal definitions of what "commitment" entails vary by person. If you subscribe to definitions and terms being fluid and flexible, at least.
I know what commitment entails, to me, and maintaining other romantic and sexual relationships isn't part of it.
I wholeheartedly agree with the sentiment of "Why get married if you don't believe in commitment," as I understand and define commitment. That said, I don't HAVE to agree with what other people do, or how they define terms, if I'm not in a relationship with them. The only person whose terms matter to me are those of the person I'm with.
Those are the circumstances under which most people make their wedding vows: starry-eyed infatuation. Combine that with youthful ignorance of how people and ideas change, it's not such a bad thing for them to come up with an arrangement that works for them. Infidelity is not at all uncommon (those people took vows, too), but this is an alternative that necessitates openness and honesty.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,029,445 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by justtitans
I'm not allowed to disagree with their decision?
Again just my opinion. That's not stopping them from doing whatever they want.
Why you would want to disagree or agree with anything that isn't your business, isn't my business. Do what you want. My opinion is people should butt out of other people's relationships and not be judgmental conservative _____.
Quote:
Originally Posted by justtitans
Read the article. She was originally going to step out of their marriage before. She was not fully committed to the relationship because she wasn't satisfied. The only difference is they made an agreement. The real issue again is, why does she keep having these feelings of being unsatisfied?
That isn't my business. I don't know why she wasn't satisfied. I don't care. Not my business. Might be emotional, or sexual, or whatever. Not my concern.
Once again I ask, and you haven't answered, you seem to think she is breaking a vow here... have you ever heard sexual monogamy in a wedding vow? I have not.
I applaud her honesty, and their willingness as a couple to work through it without jealousy and possessiveness. Her feeling unsatisfied likely had absolutely nothing to do with him or their marriage, but something that she needs to explore for herself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by justtitans
Read the article. She was originally going to step out of their marriage before. She was not fully committed to the relationship because she wasn't satisfied. The only difference is they made an agreement. The real issue again is, why does she keep having these feelings of being unsatisfied?
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