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Old 06-01-2015, 11:21 AM
 
336 posts, read 442,039 times
Reputation: 408

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I am at a loss for words...

Things haven't been that good lately between my gf and I. Everytime I mention something that she does, it always gets turned back around on me. I kept wondering why this was an issue and why she always had to be right, because after all, NO person is right 100% of the time.

Well she finally admitted to me that I was trying to "change her" and that mold her into what I wanted. I assured her that I was not and that she makes me sound like her enemy instead of her bf, but she feigns innocence every time. I finally said something and I had reached my limit. I saw an article on yahoo.com which I told her was like that, and I was trying to tell her that she was doing the same thing, provoke, provoke, provoke. In the article, the man finally can't take it anymore and the fighting escalates, sometimes leading to a physical confrontation, while the woman sits back and blames the man for getting like that in the first place.(which she does).Here's where things get bad...I have mentioned stuff about my family on here before, and she knows it(stupid mistake now) I was trying to tell her that this kind of behavior is not right nor is it acceptable in a relationship on either side...and then i get told this:

"Well if it escalates into a physical confrontation, then maybe thats the reason that your mom used to beat you."

WOW, like f'ing seriously? I have posted about my family and my mother being abusive on here before, but to me that is a major NO NO. You just don't say things like that!

I actually asked her, "Do you realize what you just said?" Of course the argument escalated after that, because you just dont say that to someone and she mentioned my mother another TWO MORE TIMES. The last one was great, "Blah blah blah, my mom beat me, my sis won't talk to me until now! wah ****ing wah, be a grown ass man and GET OVER IT!"

I mean, seriously, what kind of person says these things to someone? I mean are we done? You had better believe we are done. I told her to stay away from me and never come near me again. I mean this is just ridiculous! I wanted to still be friends, but after this, i can't stand the woman and I know hate is a strong word, but thats how i feel about now. Have you guys ever had arguments that ever escalated like this?

UPDATE: Btw, I did speak to my sister and we did work everything at all(or so it seems) she was very nice and supportive. I enjoyed every minute of our conversation.
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Old 06-01-2015, 12:05 PM
 
Location: Chicago. Kind of.
2,894 posts, read 2,452,688 times
Reputation: 7984
Well bless your heart - you get NO sympathy from me. Who the heck do you think you are "mentioning things she does" or criticizing her in ANY way? Nope - my ex pulled that control freak/emotionally abusive/hyper-critical bull**** with me - that's why he's an ex. I hope she can hold on to her self esteem - because people like you can really drain it out of a body. And she's right, incidentally, about listening to you whine - get over it. You're going to unload on her about her and how she isn't meeting your expectations then expect her to take your emotional temperature? Get off the cross, son - we need the wood.

Sorry. I calls 'em like I sees 'em.
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Old 06-01-2015, 12:08 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,927 posts, read 59,944,601 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by SoundNinia View Post
I am at a loss for words...

Things haven't been that good lately between my gf and I. Everytime I mention something that she does, it always gets turned back around on me. I kept wondering why this was an issue and why she always had to be right, because after all, NO person is right 100% of the time.

Well she finally admitted to me that I was trying to "change her" and that mold her into what I wanted. I assured her that I was not and that she makes me sound like her enemy instead of her bf, but she feigns innocence every time. I finally said something and I had reached my limit. I saw an article on yahoo.com which I told her was like that, and I was trying to tell her that she was doing the same thing, provoke, provoke, provoke. In the article, the man finally can't take it anymore and the fighting escalates, sometimes leading to a physical confrontation, while the woman sits back and blames the man for getting like that in the first place.(which she does).Here's where things get bad...I have mentioned stuff about my family on here before, and she knows it(stupid mistake now) I was trying to tell her that this kind of behavior is not right nor is it acceptable in a relationship on either side...and then i get told this:

"Well if it escalates into a physical confrontation, then maybe thats the reason that your mom used to beat you."

WOW, like f'ing seriously? I have posted about my family and my mother being abusive on here before, but to me that is a major NO NO. You just don't say things like that!

I actually asked her, "Do you realize what you just said?" Of course the argument escalated after that, because you just dont say that to someone and she mentioned my mother another TWO MORE TIMES. The last one was great, "Blah blah blah, my mom beat me, my sis won't talk to me until now! wah ****ing wah, be a grown ass man and GET OVER IT!"

I mean, seriously, what kind of person says these things to someone? I mean are we done? You had better believe we are done. I told her to stay away from me and never come near me again. I mean this is just ridiculous! I wanted to still be friends, but after this, i can't stand the woman and I know hate is a strong word, but thats how i feel about now. Have you guys ever had arguments that ever escalated like this?

UPDATE: Btw, I did speak to my sister and we did work everything at all(or so it seems) she was very nice and supportive. I enjoyed every minute of our conversation.
Yikes.

Is this the one whose phone you looked through??

Give it up.
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Old 06-01-2015, 12:10 PM
 
Location: Viña del Mar, Chile
16,391 posts, read 30,931,772 times
Reputation: 16643
Why waste time with a b*TCH?
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Old 06-01-2015, 12:23 PM
 
1,454 posts, read 2,166,776 times
Reputation: 1072
Someone that even hits a mouthy partner is still someone that hits and has anger issues, someone that would do that every time that situation happens and thinks violence is excusable. No excuse whatsoever, no matter how rude the person was. I'm not that type of girl but if hypothetically speaking I were to go as far as insulting a man's family, I would expect him to break up with me not hit me nor get physically aggressive. If he takes it to the next level, I'm in my rights to press assault charges on him.

Following the way you're trying to feed her with that article, I would have absolutely no sympathy for that man whatsoever. It was his choice to take it to the next level and get physical over words. Sure, sometimes certain individuals might be verbally out of control but you still decide whether to react violently or not and walk away.
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Old 06-01-2015, 12:27 PM
 
Location: NYC
5,210 posts, read 4,671,795 times
Reputation: 7985
You mean an argument where people try to push each others' buttons to make the other person angry? Yeah, every argument that isn't constructive. So besides you not being able to see it for what it is because of your emotional involvement, I see nothing unusual here.
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Old 06-01-2015, 12:27 PM
 
26,694 posts, read 14,565,372 times
Reputation: 8094
Could anybody translate this for me? I have no idea what is going on.
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Old 06-01-2015, 12:31 PM
 
16,709 posts, read 19,412,920 times
Reputation: 41487
Yeah, and he's only known her 9 weeks.
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Old 06-01-2015, 12:33 PM
 
1,454 posts, read 2,166,776 times
Reputation: 1072
Quote:
Originally Posted by lifeexplorer View Post
Could anybody translate this for me? I have no idea what is going on.
The poster is obviously in an unstable relationship where they're pushing each others' buttons during an argument and thinks that's an excuse on why some men decide to get physical (when he was trying to show her an article on yahoo that said that).
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Old 06-01-2015, 12:44 PM
 
8,779 posts, read 9,452,560 times
Reputation: 9548
Wave goodbye and walk away.

No need for further talk.
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