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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Akonyo
You essentially repeated what I said. I said that they will LIKELY have trouble (meaning that about 80-90% will have trouble).
Usually, the men that do well are the best looking/most photogenic or are able to write the best profile (which is not a skill all men have). I do believe that any man can be successful if he is willing to put in many months of hard work and constantly change around his profile. But even then, you may end up talking to a bunch of flaky women.
Also, as you hinted at in your previous post, there are far more high quality men online than high quality women. Generally, the women have some kind of major issue that prevents them from meeting men IRL.
Better to meet women through work. For me, personally, I'm surrounded by attractive, successful women at work that I can get to know in a more natural setting.
This isn't hard to do. I rarely write people, and just respond to the women that write me. I got this yesterday on OKC:
"I had to tell you that you have a fascinating profile. You've actually got me thinking I need to completely chuck mine and start again. We have vastly different interests, except for college ball and good beer; so the 96% is quite interesting..."
Now we're probably not a match, but she's cute, and she wrote.
[quote=AlfredB1979;40309893]You may hate it, but you can thank your fellow women for it still existing. "We'll lie about how we met!"
Women love to fib about the (not having) kids and their age. Thankfully, people are creatures of habit and their OLD alias can usually be traced to their FB and their pics of their kid(s) and their birthdate/year. That usually comes under the guise of "I entered the wrong year when registering" when it's women nearing 40 hanging onto a thread and trying to live a little longer with the sub-30 crowd.
Right! About the only way you can lose as a woman online is by coming across as a dude showing off your muscles too much or something else silly like this combination:
Intent _________ wants to find someone to marry. Do you want children? Does not want children
No guy is going to marry a chick too often who doesn't want kids as there is just no point to do so short of raising a family. Ladies, just hit Craigslist and find a gay shopping buddy for that traveling jazz as a gay guy won't try to procreate with you, either.
As a guy, you're damned if you do or you don't. Say the wrong thing and you're the target of nutty Columbia Uni mattress carrying fake rape goon or that loon who faked a rape at UVirginia. Yet, these same goons cry that men won't hit on them--good looking and intelligent men that know better, I guess. Even I have to make sure there is some interest before I even bother. Then again, too many times I've been buttered up only to get "Oh, yeah, I'm planning on doing XYZ with my boyfriend for my birthday!"
The bad thing is the homely midget below would still DQ you:
Not really sure how she'd beat me at bouncyball with my 100 lb and a foot of height advantage, but it was worth the laugh!
"Pat, I'd like to spin the wheel. (Spin...$500.) Can I buy an 'L'?"[/quote=]
Guys do lie too on OLD. Childfree married couples are on the raise in America. I find Mr.Sommie and I will send you wedding picture.
People don't get it. Woman are assertive. They're all about being seen, but they want you to put in the work. If intelligent, well off, educated men are online, and not in the bar, then they'll go online to be seen. If the men were in the bar, then they would be in the bar.
Men are visual. Online, you can put your best foot forward. Offline, you spend hundreds to get your hair done, clothing, you have to be a great conversationalist, you have to compete on an entirely different level. In my experience most women only have something to talk to me about it they're interested or they want something. There aren't many selfless, altruistic women out there. They check you out, see what shoes you're wearing, what car you drive, even where you live. This is what women do. They're subtle and they get you to think about them.
If men are online looking at adult materials they'll eventually hook up with someone online. Especially if they're single. Women have the same needs as everybody else. Sometimes it leads to love, sometimes it doesn't. It is just a game that people play. It really isn't that complicated.
A woman indulges and fulfils her needs online. A lot of women are lonely and they're looking for something different. They can find that online. Just don't be a sucker for love and you'll be okay.
Lie about what, exactly? And while I did come across some duds in my time in the online dating scene, I also come across a number of matches and dated more than a few high quality matches. It worked very well for me. I had no trouble attracting my type, or non-types. Even with my then separated/divorced with kids status.
lol
What does "different under the skin" mean?
I have to ditto Ohio P. What he stated was accurate for what I experienced. At the time I started using dating sites I was living in the Bible belt, and though I lived in an upscale, progressive area, it's still the South, and atheists/liberal + the South don't exactly mix. That plus other criteria meant online dating was the most thorough way for me to search for compatible "suitors." I didn't have trouble garnering attention offline, but it would have been unlikely or next to impossible to find an actual match in the settings I was in. I desired a specific type, and there's no shortage of this type online.
I explained "different under the skin" in another post. I was saying if she's not your average, cliche, "hot woman" who likes vapid/cliche things like doing her nails and shopping she might have trouble dating. For example, if she's an atheist in a very religious area... a very educated women in a small town with mainly poorly educated men, maybe she's a big time science fiction/gamer/nerd type and only seems to attract "jocks" that bore her, etc. That sort of thing. Maybe different under the skin wasn't the best way to put it, what I was trying to say is that she might be the "average beauty" on the outside, but so uniquely different inside it's hard to find someone.
Last edited by TMBGBlueCanary; 07-07-2015 at 07:09 AM..
Some guys are unbelievable. You complain when Fat girls on there,single mom ,and pretty girls.
What do you guys want?
LOL, okay, this made me smile. It seems true. People here whine about everything for some reason.
Okay, no pretty women allowed on online dating... or single moms... or overweight women. Maybe the hope is only homely desperate women willing to date anyone because they are so lonely should be online. I have to wonder if this attitude must come from men who they themselves are desperate and willing to date anyone. Plenty of men find dates and have luck finding someone to date online (all those women who find men online must be dating someone after all--and I don't think it's other women). So I am saying all this whining is sour grapes.
Better to meet women through work. For me, personally, I'm surrounded by attractive, successful women at work that I can get to know in a more natural setting.
For some, this is a viable option. For others, it's completely impractical. I work in male-dominated industry (aerospace engineering), that's overwhelmingly married and overwhelmingly 50+, in a pocket of affluence surrounded by rust-belt decline, in a region that's overwhelming Christian and "family oriented"... not exactly conducive to workplace dating-success (or any "real life" dating success). And being in an position of some prominence, I must be scrupulously careful about my social interactions at work.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FourFiftyFour
I have so many reasons why children are not in my future. So many men contact me and that is the first question they ask me. Guys, women are not just baby factories. News flash. The women who have valid reasons why being a mother will not happen, need a special someone just as much as anyone.
It would be so wonderful if more child-free people were open to marriage! One hopes that with recent societal trends, marriage is becoming more about the welfare of the couple, rather than their supposedly intended role as reproducers.
Quote:
Originally Posted by goofy328
Woman are assertive. They're all about being seen, but they want you to put in the work.
....There aren't many selfless, altruistic women out there. They check you out, see what shoes you're wearing, what car you drive, even where you live. This is what women do. They're subtle and they get you to think about them.
I don't expect women (or men) to be selfless, altruistic, ascetic, holy or otherwise dissuaded from adherence to narrowly personal interest. But what so befuddles me is the frequency with which accouterments such as shoes and cars are used as surrogates for ascertaining a person's position in life. How is this "subtle"?
And as for women being "assertive" - very good, that's conceivably all for the best. But how is "being assertive" apposite with expecting the men to "put in the work"? Doesn't being assertive imply oneself initiating contact, and doing the pursuing?
For some, this is a viable option. For others, it's completely impractical. I work in male-dominated industry (aerospace engineering), that's overwhelmingly married and overwhelmingly 50+, in a pocket of affluence surrounded by rust-belt decline, in a region that's overwhelming Christian and "family oriented"... not exactly conducive to workplace dating-success (or any "real life" dating success). And being in an position of some prominence, I must be scrupulously careful about my social interactions at work.
It would be so wonderful if more child-free people were open to marriage! One hopes that with recent societal trends, marriage is becoming more about the welfare of the couple, rather than their supposedly intended role as reproducers.
I don't expect women (or men) to be selfless, altruistic, ascetic, holy or otherwise dissuaded from adherence to narrowly personal interest. But what so befuddles me is the frequency with which accouterments such as shoes and cars are used as surrogates for ascertaining a person's position in life. How is this "subtle"?
And as for women being "assertive" - very good, that's conceivably all for the best. But how is "being assertive" apposite with expecting the men to "put in the work"? Doesn't being assertive imply oneself initiating contact, and doing the pursuing?
No. I don't think that it does. Some women start and some finish. My post has more to do with a man's resolve regardless of what situation he's in. An assertive woman is not a free lunch. You'll find yourself alone with your heart broken, reminiscing on good times you had with her, with that mentality.
Some people bear it more gracefully than others. The ones who judge me harshly for my circumstances, I would not want to interact with anyways, because first of all, I don't care. I'm doing what I can with what I've got in life. And under the circumstances, I'm doing really well. I know this.
I also do my best not to bury people I'm seeing under my problems. I talk about my fun adventures in life, my likes and dislikes, funny stories about my kids or my cat, and while I am honest and will answer questions, I do try not to go on about the crazy ex. And I don't want any of my problems to be the problems of the man I'm seeing. I'm there to enjoy him, and vice versa...to get AWAY from that crap, not to bring it with me and roll around in it.
Basically everyone is human, and everyone has STUFF. You simply choose WHICH stuff you want to deal with, and which you don't. I don't mind a person having issues in their past if they seem to be handling them like a mature and functional adult. If a guy would prefer an vapid 18 year old who just wants to have his babies, to an intellectual lady in the first year of her sexual prime who has her own income, her own home, and wants nothing beyond good company and excellent sex...hey, I don't judge. Have fun playing house!
Some people bear it more gracefully than others. The ones who judge me harshly for my circumstances, I would not want to interact with anyways, because first of all, I don't care. I'm doing what I can with what I've got in life. And under the circumstances, I'm doing really well. I know this.
I also do my best not to bury people I'm seeing under my problems. I talk about my fun adventures in life, my likes and dislikes, funny stories about my kids or my cat, and while I am honest and will answer questions, I do try not to go on about the crazy ex. And I don't want any of my problems to be the problems of the man I'm seeing. I'm there to enjoy him, and vice versa...to get AWAY from that crap, not to bring it with me and roll around in it.
Basically everyone is human, and everyone has STUFF. You simply choose WHICH stuff you want to deal with, and which you don't. I don't mind a person having issues in their past if they seem to be handling them like a mature and functional adult. If a guy would prefer an vapid 18 year old who just wants to have his babies, to an intellectual lady in the first year of her sexual prime who has her own income, her own home, and wants nothing beyond good company and excellent sex...hey, I don't judge. Have fun playing house!
you had me at "sexual prime"
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