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Wait, what was your question that you posed to her? You didn't just say you had similar tastes, did you? That isn't making conversation.
Sure it is, I've got into plenty of conversations just on complimenting specific band shirts alone. She was a Yes fan as well, so I asked her if she'd heard the news of Chris Squire's passing.
Fact is, there was a cantankerous attitude there that didn't even need to exist. Don't like me, don't reply. I'm on a dating site trying to meet people with no ill intent.
This is exactly how I feel. When I am out with my friends, we are basically looking to spend time with each other. We value that time together, and this is especially true when I'm with my two best friends because we live in 3 different states. We might eye up a guy we think is good-looking, but we're not going to do anything about it.
Amusingly, my two best friends went on a vacation together and ended up being hit on by some really hot guy. They kept batting him back and forth between each other and then complained about it to me later. "I set her up to get laid and she didn't act on it!" they each said, almost verbatim, about the other.
It totally cracked me up - I told them it was like some post-modern version of The Gift Of The Magi.
I'm pretty calculated when it comes to making conversation with women in general. I at least know there's some interest from how we're vibing with each other while we're out. Sometimes it was just platonic conversation and I tried to make an advance later and it was rebuffed. No harm and no foul. Other times I made an advance and they were anticipating that I would contact them. My soul mission is to go out and have a good time with friends, not hit on women, because blatantly hitting on women is not fun for me.
Sure it is, I've got into plenty of conversations just on complimenting specific band shirts alone. She was a Yes fan as well, so I asked her if she'd heard the news of Chris Squire's passing.
Fact is, there was a cantankerous attitude there that didn't even need to exist. Don't like me, don't reply. I'm on a dating site trying to meet people with no ill intent.
Maybe it's you who's cantankerous and super-sensitive? Your response to Lilac110's suggestion that you shave was just plain rude. I mean, seriously, you got butthurt over someone who complimented you and offered a suggestion (which you basically solicited in your post). Your reaction was both childish and ungracious, not to mention pretty self-important. "I don't care what anyone thinks! I do what I want!" And yet you're on here asking for opinions. I'd call that pretty insufferable.
Maybe it's you who's cantankerous and super-sensitive? Your response to Lilac110's suggestion that you shave was just plain rude. I mean, seriously, you got butthurt over someone who complimented you and offered a suggestion (which you basically solicited in your post). Your reaction was both childish and ungracious, not to mention pretty self-important. "I don't care what anyone thinks! I do what I want!" And yet you're on here asking for opinions. I'd call that pretty insufferable.
You read it wrong then. Her post had nothing to do with the topic. I wasn't soliciting fashion advice in the least.
Furthermore, what's wrong with letting people carry on as they see fit? How is it self-important if I have a beard? Was I being self-important when I was clean shaven? Does a smooth chin on my part make online daters any less insufferable? Pretty sure it doesn't.
You read it wrong then. Her post had nothing to do with the topic. I wasn't soliciting fashion advice in the least.
Furthermore, what's wrong with letting people carry on as they see fit? How is it self-important if I have a beard? Was I being self-important when I was clean shaven? Does a smooth chin on my part make online daters any less insufferable? Pretty sure it doesn't.
It's not self-important to have a beard. It's self-important when one woman offers you her opinion on what make you more marketable while complimenting your appearance and you fixate on the fact that she dared to suggest you change your appearance slightly. Yes, it had something to do with the topic because you were complaining about "insufferable" people you meet online, and she was suggesting something that she thought would widen your appeal to increase your odds of finding someone.
You seem really uptight and defensive. Relax. That may be what is scaring off the women you don't happen to find insufferable.
It's not self-important to have a beard. It's self-important when one woman offers you her opinion on what make you more marketable while complimenting your appearance and you fixate on the fact that she dared to suggest you change your appearance slightly. Yes, it had something to do with the topic because you were complaining about "insufferable" people you meet online, and she was suggesting something that she thought would widen your appeal to increase your odds of finding someone.
The thread wasn't about my personal marketability. Note: I've had a beard for exactly five months, the other thirty-seven and a half years: Yeah, none. That experiment is complete. Makes no difference either way so far as I can tell.
Furthermore, I've got no interest in a women who won't date me just because I've got a beard, just as much as I have no interest in dating one who'll dump me if I shave it off... because it will almost certainly happen eventually. Maybe I'm the only one with an evolving style.
Nor was this about meeting any insufferable people online. Where did I say that? I've met exactly zero insufferable people.
Now, have I read egads of insufferable profiles? For suuuuuuuuuure. Too much attitude, not enough curiosity, too much complaint. Just the vibe I get reading these things. I can't be the only one getting this impression.
Last edited by Tune_It_Lower; 07-09-2015 at 02:06 AM..
The thread wasn't about my personal marketability. Note: I've had a beard for exactly five months, the other thirty-seven and a half years: Yeah, none. That experiment is complete. Makes no difference either way so far as I can tell.
Furthermore, I've got no interest in a women who won't date me just because I've got a beard, just as much as I have no interest in dating one who'll dump me if I shave it off... because it will almost certainly happen eventually. Maybe I'm the only one with an evolving style.
Nor was this about meeting any insufferable people online. Where did I say that? I've met exactly zero insufferable people.
Now, have I read egads of insufferable profiles? For suuuuuuuuuure. Too much attitude, not enough curiosity, too much complaint. Just the vibe I get reading these things. I can't be the only one getting this impression.
You aren't. I have browsed through a few women's profiles after reading this thread. Simply awful. Lots of ego with nothing to base it off of.
You aren't. I have browsed through a few women's profiles after reading this thread. Simply awful. Lots of ego with nothing to base it off of.
Indeed. And I have absolutely zero intention here to target women. It surely could be men too (though I'm straight so I don't visit mens' profiles), or same sex seeking men, or same sex seeking women, polys, transgenders, queers, et. al.
As an observer, it just seems to me that those who have a want & desire to couple to the point that they try to use the resource of something with the theoretical efficacy of online dating, well... they're filtered down to the nastiest people that I just never encounter in real life.
I read their profiles/diatribes and have little inspiration to message them... or get the vibe that I'm ruining their respective days' by saying "Hi, I like that band too!"
Indeed. And I have absolutely zero intention here to target women. It surely could be men too (though I'm straight so I don't visit mens' profiles), or same sex seeking men, or same sex seeking women, polys, transgenders, queers, et. al.
As an observer, it just seems to me that those who have a want & desire to couple to the point that they try to use the resource of something with the theoretical efficacy of online dating, well... they're filtered down to the nastiest people that I just never encounter in real life.
I read their profiles/diatribes and have little inspiration to message them... or get the vibe that I'm ruining their respective days' by saying "Hi, I like that band too!"
Sorry I'm not Shakespeare, I guess... My bad.
Yeah her response was bs. It's clear she has a chip on her shoulder. For me, I message guys and they don't get my humor. Guys don't think girls are funny I guess.
PS I like your beard.
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Note: I've had a beard for exactly five months, the other thirty-seven and a half years: Yeah, none. That experiment is complete. Makes no difference either way so far as I can tell. 
Too much attitude, not enough curiosity, too much complaint. Just the vibe I get reading these things. I can't be the only one getting this impression.
