What are some lessons you learned from your first serious relationship?

[weezerfan84]

Originally Posted by sidburn

Some I learned:

- Never underestimate the importance of family compatibility. If you marry someone, you marry their family. And never underestimate their family's ability to turn them against you.
- People are not fixer-uppers, despite what that song in Frozen says. If something significant bothers you about someone, it is unlikely to ever truly change.
- Persistent flakiness is unacceptable from a partner.
- Love doesn't conquer all. You need fiscal responsibility, sexual compatibility, effective communication, lifestyle compatibility, and yes, physical attraction to make it work.
- If they have a bad temper, start drama, or are disrespectful of others, sooner or later that will be directed at you.

And most importantly: it's better to be alone than with the wrong person.

These are all key to having something last months to years, instead of days to weeks. Family is the biggest one and most difficult one for me. I'm not super close to my family, but we've never been a super close bunch. Most women I've been attracted to had a closer family dynamic than myself. Love surely doesn't conquer all. I would also say most people need to be emotionally healthy before they venture in a relationship together.

Originally Posted by Checkered24

Don't stress the small stuff.

I know this one all too well. I'm much better at not sweating the small stuff these days. I'm looking at the bigger things as key components of compatibility.

I would also add that before anything else, you need to be true to yourself. Be in tune to what you like and want out of a relationship. You can rollover on some issues, but don't find yourself rolling over on every issue just to say you are in a relationship.

[howdydoody342]

simply loving someone without putting in effort is not enough to make something last

[lucky2balive]

trust your gut
NEVER PUT ALL your eggs in that one basket...have your own life, don't just live to be with her...I did...and the break up was devastating...

[Cardiff Giant]

Don't be a jealous, controlling, possessive nutcase. It actually worked for me though, I never would have met my wife if my first love hadn't dumped me for being that guy.

So I learned a valuable lesson and met the woman of my dreams.

[thinkalot]

You have to be able to talk to each other.

[sidburn]

Taking someone's virginity isn't all it's cracked up to be

[ShinyHappyLucy]

Don't have sex too soon.

We were very compatible, but I was young and I think sex too soon ruined it. It was just too much for me to deal with.

[TabulaRasa]

Pay attention to that first, little lie that gets uncovered. Don't blow it off as insignificant.