I cheated on my husband (young, children, affair, couples)
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Not always, only in perfect person world. I've known MANY couples that have recovered from an affair, whether know or unknown to both parties. Look I not advocating cheating by any stretch, but just because a mistake is made doesn't mean that everyone's life needs to be ruined. That is what I don't get about the C-D "CHEATERS MUST DIE" chants. Once slip up doesn't have to end everything, it sometimes can be worked through, and divorce doesn't always have to happen (like 60% of the people in this thread feel)
Also the "you should tell him no matter what" advice is so stupid I can't begin to think what is wrong with people who give it. If your best friend was like "I just won a million bucks gambling with this illegal bookie and no one saw me" would the first thing you told him "you should turn yourself in now!" Probably not.
Infidelity is not a "mistake" or "slip up". A mistake is giving wrong change back or misspelling a word, not knowingly destroying your relationship because you're a coward. Its a really really bad choice that betrays your SO in the worst way. At least its easy to tell cheaters from non cheaters in this thread... haha
God I feel sorry for some of the people on this thread - what an incredible amount of judment and mud-slinging.
Good luck, OP, I hope you can sort it out. I stand by my advice. I have never cheated on my husband, but admit I have been tempted a couple of times (my reasons are private). I have reason to believe my husband may have cheated on me in the past, and guess what - I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW IF HE DID!!! I have no reason to believe he is now, and I like our marriage as is. Why ruin things if you don't have to. That is assuming you (OP) want to stay married and work it out and not "cheat" again.
Last edited by gypsychic; 07-31-2015 at 02:20 PM..
I will say that if you are like me the guilt can and will work on you. If you want to save your marriage try marital therapy. Good luck to you. You made a mistake. You are human. That Biblical verse comes to mind..."he who has not sinned, let him cast the first stone" and I sure have done my share of sinning and been pretty open on this board about it. First of all try and forgive yourself. Maybe your posting will help other people who are thinking about cheating decide not to do it so you may be helping one or more by being so open about it.
God I feel sorry for some of the people on this thread - what an incredible amount of judment and mud-slinging.
Good luck, OP, I hope you can sort it out. I stand by my advice. I have never cheated on my husband, but admit I have been tempted a couple of times (my reasons are private). I have reason to believe my husband may have cheated on me in the past, and guess what - I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW IF HE DID!!! I have no reason to believe he is now, and I like our marriage as is. Why ruin things if you don't have to. That is assuming you (OP) want to stay married and work it out and not "cheat" again.
Yah man, why ruin things when you are getting some kind of benefit from it still
Spoilers: your relationship isn't all about you or how You may feel.
at its heart this is where the conflict lays. You are purposefully avoiding the truths of the matter in order to keep your own prerogative alive.
You're not addressing the issues that affect you as a couple. You are using your own personal issues that cause yourself to have conflicted thoughts of remaining faithful as the crutch on which you avoid dealing with "infedialty" as a whole.
Last edited by rego00123; 07-31-2015 at 03:10 PM..
God I feel sorry for some of the people on this thread - what an incredible amount of judment and mud-slinging.
Good luck, OP, I hope you can sort it out. I stand by my advice. I have never cheated on my husband, but admit I have been tempted a couple of times (my reasons are private). I have reason to believe my husband may have cheated on me in the past, and guess what - I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW IF HE DID!!! I have no reason to believe he is now, and I like our marriage as is. Why ruin things if you don't have to. That is assuming you (OP) want to stay married and work it out and not "cheat" again.
And that's your prerogative, although I don't know too many people who feel the same way about being lied to. Personally, I can forgive if the offending party has the decency to come to me with the truth. Hey, I'm no angel; I understand temptation; I understand desperately wanting to bang someone else because of the intense attraction and ample opportunity... but it's just not worth hurting my husband, even though (in all likelihood) he would eventually forgave me.
Not always, only in perfect person world. I've known MANY couples that have recovered from an affair, whether know or unknown to both parties. Look I not advocating cheating by any stretch, but just because a mistake is made doesn't mean that everyone's life needs to be ruined. That is what I don't get about the C-D "CHEATERS MUST DIE" chants. Once slip up doesn't have to end everything, it sometimes can be worked through, and divorce doesn't always have to happen (like 60% of the people in this thread feel)
Of course it can be worked through! Sometimes that is exactly what happens, and the marriage ends up stronger.
That is a separate issue from whether the OP should tell the spouse the truth.
God I feel sorry for some of the people on this thread - what an incredible amount of judment and mud-slinging.
Good luck, OP, I hope you can sort it out. I stand by my advice. I have never cheated on my husband, but admit I have been tempted a couple of times (my reasons are private). I have reason to believe my husband may have cheated on me in the past, and guess what - I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW IF HE DID!!!
Your call. But your personal desires don't make anybody who WOULD want to know if they are being lied to somehow out of bounds or in the wrong for wanting to know. There are plenty of people who would want the option of deciding whether or not to remain in their relationships, even if your personal conviction is that, "what you don't know won't hurt you." Not everyone is comfortable with infidelity being swept under the rug.
Some people WILL want to work through indiscretions. But if the truth is kept from you, you don't get the opportunity to even MAKE that choice. How is that right?
Anyone who wants to hug the cheater and hand her a tissue while agreeing what a bad man the husband is is either a cheating woman themselves (or one who has a crush they just don't have the nerve to try it with) or the type of cuckolded 'man' who is just so happy to have a woman he'll turn a blind eye to her transgressions.
Anyone who wants to hug the cheater and hand her a tissue while agreeing what a bad man the husband is is either a cheating woman themselves (or one who has a crush they just don't have the nerve to try it with) or the type of cuckolded 'man' who is just so happy to have a woman he'll turn a blind eye to her transgressions.
Lol you get a gold star for reading
between the lines
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