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To me it's not about knowing or not knowing and It's not about the act for me.
It's about not wanting to be with someone who has to feel afraid to discuss what life throws at them and by association not wanting to be with someone who would jeopardize the relationship (and now that I have one of my own) family by putting themselves in the position to cheat in the first place.
As someone who has had a past of infedialty I know full well those situations do not just happen. It's not a mistake to fall in to another's arms, it's a choice. Whether or not your regret that choice later is your own personal struggle to deal with, but going in you know full well where boundaries are within our relationship.
Last edited by rego00123; 07-31-2015 at 07:09 PM..
You and your partner are having a rough time. Partner travels on business. Meets someone and has a brief fling. Realizes they made a huge mistake, commits to fixing the marriage and doesn't see the other person again.
Works hard to make your marriage better. Marriage becomes better than ever.
What's the use in telling them what you did a year or two ago and potentially hurting them?
I dunno. I have a friend whose husband unloaded his guilty conscience all over her and it ruined any shot they had at fixing their marriage.
So, I guess for the one who stepped out, getting that off their chests might seem all noble, but carrying it around is actually the harder thing to do.
This assumes one has any sort of conscience, of course.
Anyone with a conscience, wouldnt cheat on their SO to begin with. They are cake eaters and care only avout themselves. If there are no consequences for cheating, it will pretty much never be a one time deal. Sorry, i dont buy it.
You've already betrayed him and your marriage in one of the most fundamental ways you possibly could. Don't betray him further by taking away HIS right to do what he needs to do as a result of your actions. You've done enough damage already.
God I feel sorry for some of the people on this thread - what an incredible amount of judment and mud-slinging.
Good luck, OP, I hope you can sort it out. I stand by my advice. I have never cheated on my husband, but admit I have been tempted a couple of times (my reasons are private). I have reason to believe my husband may have cheated on me in the past, and guess what - I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW IF HE DID!!! I have no reason to believe he is now, and I like our marriage as is. Why ruin things if you don't have to. That is assuming you (OP) want to stay married and work it out and not "cheat" again.
Why would you feel sorry for the people who have morals....?
Honestly- the people you should feel sorry for are the innocent
spouses that get betrayed every day & every night....
And it usually starts like this:
^^^ As I knew it would be, lol
I suspected it was a first timer specifically to get things riled up here......
Of course, lol. With or without the OP's participation, these types of threads take on a life of its own. We have so many people here with different values and morals giving advise, it's bound to be an entertaining thread .
Personally, I use these types of threads to get some insight on other posters
Of course, lol. With or without the OP's participation, these types of threads take on a life of its own. We have so many people here with different values and morals giving advise, it's bound to be an entertaining thread .
Personally, I use these types of threads to get some insight on other posters.
Lol that makes 2 of us, hc......
Seems like the sexiest ones are also the most trustworthy
The OP mentions she felt neglected, that her husband didn't pay her enough attention. This has to be about the most common easiest excuse for cheating ever. And it doesn't excuse her actions. There is NEVER any valid excusable reason for infidelity whatsoever.
I think she should tell her husband, hoping for forgiveness, and then her husband leaves her. He should attempt to use proof of her infidelity as leverage in getting himself a superior deal in the divorce split. I certainly would.
Rule 101 for relationships: Never take back a cheater.
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