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My gf, Donna went to a music festival with her friends which included a couple, lets call them Joey and Rachel. She invited me to go, so i went too.
When i got there, Donna seemed to follow Joey a lot. If he would walk off by himself somewhere she would follow him and ask him what he was up too.
Rachel didn't seem to mind Donna walking around with Joey, she passed the time by chatting with her other friend there. I didn't know any of them so they didn't talk to me, i just sort of had to wait around by myself until Donna returned.
What really threw me off was when she asked him to dance. Nobody in the group had been dancing so i didn't think i was supposed to ask her. But she went ahead and asked him to dance, and since by then we were all really drunk i got upset and decided to let her know that i wasn't comfortable with them.
She said she asked him to dance because i couldn't dance like that, but then we had a huge fight and she brought up our issues from the past that had made her upset with me. Later that night she apologized for fighting with me like that.
I realized that she may not be happy with our relationship, but was her behavior that night suspicious or am i just making a big deal about how she gave Joey so much attention?
Last edited by ChernoAlpha2000; 09-07-2015 at 05:27 PM..
She's ignoring you, you both get drunk and fight, and you say she is not happy in this relationship. What do you need to bring up? You sound miserable. Can't you just break up with her, or is there a need to hash this out?
I realized that she may not be happy with our relationship, but was her behavior that night suspicious or am i just making a big deal about how she gave Joey so much attention?
Impossible to say on so little information. There are so many other factors here we on the forum know nothing about.
Quite often our friendships involve levels of connection that are not in our relationships. For example I would not often sit down with my feet up eating junk food - drinking beer - and watching the football with my GFs. That is not the relationship I have with them. So in a football watching context - my attention would by definition by mainly on the people with whom I connect to _in_ that context.
Similarly in a music festival context - her attention might be mainly on the friends for whom dancing and shared musical interests is their point of connection. Similarly if you took her to a make-up emporium she might be running around after the friends with whom she shares an interest in make up - and screaming things like "Put this on me" or "Can I put this on you?" and more.
When I am watching football with my mates - or building weaponised go karts (yea we do this) with them which I do often - my girlfriends realise this is time when I connect with those friends in a context I do not connect with them. And I similarly facilitate them when they are doing the same with their friends. Of both - or either of the - sexes.
It seems from what tiny smidgen of information we have about your scenario that your GF enjoys dancing and for whatever reason this is something she explores with someone who is not you. Either because you are not into dancing - not good at it - or she wanted to connect with a friend and music and dancing was the main way she does so with this friend.
You are bothered she might be into this guy? Sure - she might be. As I said we know next to nothing about your back ground - how she connects with him - how she connects with you - how often she sees this person and hence might have wanted to connect with him on that day - and much much much more.
So despite the length of my post there is little advice I can usefully offer to you except to realise there are many narratives that entirely explain an encounter like this - and the one that I suspect is bothering you - that she is into this guy - is only one of them. If there are issues with your relationship however - which you also indicated - then you need to tackle them in general and together as a couple - without petty back and forth referencing of events like this one which are - quite often - symptoms of the problem and not the problem themselves. Divorce the issue in your OP from the relationship problems in general and do not let your emotions about the former cloud your rationality when dealing with the latter.
It's always funny when people populate their stories with real names. I always feel like I am reading the first draft of a (usually dreadful) screenplay
Plus I can't believe the OP didn't dance with his girlfriend at a MUSIC FESTIVAL. He must have looked weird standing there like an Easter Island monolith with all the action swirling around him.
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