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I've been married for 10 years. I earn well and so does my wife. I work approximately 25 hours a week on my own internet business and she works at an advertising company working 35 - 45 hours a week, occasionally a bit longer.
From time to time I buy myself nice things. Sometimes they're expensive but not always. I like to treat myself sometimes as I work hard for my money. I usually buy things related to my hobbies and interests, as well as things related to self improvement.
My wife also likes to buy herself nice things. By that I mean shoes, shoes, and more shoes, and handbags, and expensive cocktails after work, and clothes that she wears once then they're never to be seen again, and so on and so forth. In other words superficial, useless things.
The other day she asked me what I thought about moving to another part of town. When I asked her where it turned out to be a very expensive area. I sad no way. She said that we can definitely afford it, and I said no.
Then she said that I was being selfish. I asked her what does that mean and she said that all I care about is my hobbies. I said she's not making any sense and she should clarify what she's talking about, and she said that if I spent less money on my hobbies we'd have more to spare. So I said that's a ridiculous argument.
First of all, I work hard for my money and I take care of my obligations and I deserve to enjoy life. Secondly, she doesn't contribute much to the household and yet she expects to be able to move to some snooty part of town, presumably courtesy of my hard earned cash. After all, her money goes on much more important things such as shoes.
Then she said that she works longer hours than me, and that I have the luxury of working from home. I said what's that got to do with anything. Then she went silent. I asked her again, and no response.
So the long and the short of it is this :
I build my own business from scratch, I work hard at it, I earn enough money to take care of my financial obligations to our household, I treat myself from time to time on things that genuinely add to my happiness and self improvement, and I'm happy as things are.
Meanwhile, she contributes very little to our expenses, wastes money on nonsense, and expects "us" (me) to fund some new life in snootyville.
No way jose. I said if that's what she wants she should go and marry the nearest fool because it's not going to happen. In fact I said I've been carrying her for way too long and it's time for me to start paying only my fair share of our expenses and not a penny more. I said I've been an idiot for allowing this to go on, but this is where it ends.
Then she turned on the waterworks. I laughed and went out for a drink. When I returned she was gone. This was 2 weeks ago and I've not seen her or heard from her.
If she wants a divorce I don't think I'd have any problem with that. Quite honestly she's been getting on my nerves for months with her spending habits, her selfishness, her lack of self reflection and her hypocrisy.
I've taken all her things to her parents house, given my notice to the landlord (yes, we rent, or rather I do, much to her disapproval) and started looking for a new place. I've also made appointments with the best divorce lawyers in the area although I already know someone and he's very good. So if she wants a hot shot I guess she's going to have to look further afield. We don't share bank accounts (again, much to her disapproval) so there's nothing to do there. I don't like all this hassle but I can sense that this is the end and it's best for me to protect myself in every way, including ensuring that any future conversations that we have are recorded, as well as protecting my assets although I don't think it would be wise to go into specifics.
The bottom line is that she is selfish, entitled, and she has quite a mean, vindictive streak and I know what she'd do if she can legally get away with it. I'm a fool for having put up with it for so long, but no more. I've learned my lesson. But what a shame. 10 years.
You are childish, selfish, and lack self reflection. Yes - YOU.
I think, she would do much better without you.
I absolutely disagree. I think he married a very superficial person with some horrible spending habits. If she wants to continue to live like that, she better find an idiot that is willing to fund her lifestyle.
OP, your story sounds pretty typical. In my opinion, a large number of marriages nowadays end due to some of the things you mentioned. I think you will be better off without her.
Contrary to all the nonsense you read here about "perfect" marriages, your marriage sounds like a typical American marriage. I hope you do not incur some major financial losses in the process.
I've been married for 10 years. I earn well and so does my wife. I work approximately 25 hours a week on my own internet business and she works at an advertising company working 35 - 45 hours a week, occasionally a bit longer.
From time to time I buy myself nice things. Sometimes they're expensive but not always. I like to treat myself sometimes as I work hard for my money. I usually buy things related to my hobbies and interests, as well as things related to self improvement.
My wife also likes to buy herself nice things. By that I mean shoes, shoes, and more shoes, and handbags, and expensive cocktails after work, and clothes that she wears once then they're never to be seen again, and so on and so forth. In other words superficial, useless things.
The other day she asked me what I thought about moving to another part of town. When I asked her where it turned out to be a very expensive area. I sad no way. She said that we can definitely afford it, and I said no.
Then she said that I was being selfish. I asked her what does that mean and she said that all I care about is my hobbies. I said she's not making any sense and she should clarify what she's talking about, and she said that if I spent less money on my hobbies we'd have more to spare. So I said that's a ridiculous argument.
First of all, I work hard for my money and I take care of my obligations and I deserve to enjoy life. Secondly, she doesn't contribute much to the household and yet she expects to be able to move to some snooty part of town, presumably courtesy of my hard earned cash. After all, her money goes on much more important things such as shoes.
Then she said that she works longer hours than me, and that I have the luxury of working from home. I said what's that got to do with anything. Then she went silent. I asked her again, and no response.
So the long and the short of it is this :
I build my own business from scratch, I work hard at it, I earn enough money to take care of my financial obligations to our household, I treat myself from time to time on things that genuinely add to my happiness and self improvement, and I'm happy as things are.
Meanwhile, she contributes very little to our expenses, wastes money on nonsense, and expects "us" (me) to fund some new life in snootyville.
No way jose. I said if that's what she wants she should go and marry the nearest fool because it's not going to happen. In fact I said I've been carrying her for way too long and it's time for me to start paying only my fair share of our expenses and not a penny more. I said I've been an idiot for allowing this to go on, but this is where it ends.
Then she turned on the waterworks. I laughed and went out for a drink. When I returned she was gone. This was 2 weeks ago and I've not seen her or heard from her.
If she wants a divorce I don't think I'd have any problem with that. Quite honestly she's been getting on my nerves for months with her spending habits, her selfishness, her lack of self reflection and her hypocrisy.
I've taken all her things to her parents house, given my notice to the landlord (yes, we rent, or rather I do, much to her disapproval) and started looking for a new place. I've also made appointments with the best divorce lawyers in the area although I already know someone and he's very good. So if she wants a hot shot I guess she's going to have to look further afield. We don't share bank accounts (again, much to her disapproval) so there's nothing to do there. I don't like all this hassle but I can sense that this is the end and it's best for me to protect myself in every way, including ensuring that any future conversations that we have are recorded, as well as protecting my assets although I don't think it would be wise to go into specifics.
The bottom line is that she is selfish, entitled, and she has quite a mean, vindictive streak and I know what she'd do if she can legally get away with it. I'm a fool for having put up with it for so long, but no more. I've learned my lesson. But what a shame. 10 years.
Sounds like you don't value her at all and she'd be better off without you.
Laughing at your crying wife and then walking out? Class act. Keep it up and you won't ever have to worry about another woman bothering you ever again.
Sounds like you don't value her at all and she'd be better off without you.
Laughing at your crying wife and then walking out? Class act. Keep it up and you won't ever have to worry about another woman bothering you ever again.
Value her? Based on the OP's description of his wife, what is there to value?
I've been married for 10 years. I earn well and so does my wife. I work approximately 25 hours a week on my own internet business and she works at an advertising company working 35 - 45 hours a week, occasionally a bit longer.
From time to time I buy myself nice things. Sometimes they're expensive but not always. I like to treat myself sometimes as I work hard for my money. I usually buy things related to my hobbies and interests, as well as things related to self improvement.
My wife also likes to buy herself nice things. By that I mean shoes, shoes, and more shoes, and handbags, and expensive cocktails after work, and clothes that she wears once then they're never to be seen again, and so on and so forth. In other words superficial, useless things.
So, you both buy yourselves nice things. But things you buy for you, related to your hobbies and interests - are useful and meaningful! She buys shoes, purses and clothes - her things are superficial and useless.
The other day she asked me what I thought about moving to another part of town. When I asked her where it turned out to be a very expensive area. I sad no way. She said that we can definitely afford it, and I said no.
Then she said that I was being selfish. I asked her what does that mean and she said that all I care about is my hobbies.- oh, yes - we know that already - they are very important, and related to self improvement. I guess you need to spend much , much more to get any results.
I said she's not making any sense and she should clarify what she's talking about, and she said that if I spent less money on my hobbies we'd have more to spare. So I said that's a ridiculous argument.
First of all, I work hard for my money - your 25 hrs week is so much more important than hers 45 hours - or more. Your work is serious and hard. She doesn't work hard. Probably just sits at her desk, polish her nails, tries new shoes and admires her purses
and I take care of my obligations and I deserve to enjoy life.
I wonder if she cleans after you, washes your clothes, cooks, runs errands, and pleases you with a smile while you are so busy with your work, and self improving hobbies... all that after her long hours at work.
She should not enjoy her life, buy shoes, purses and have cocktails . How dare she!
You work at home, she works in an advertising company. Shoes, purses and cocktails might be a part of her image.
Secondly, she doesn't contribute much to the household and yet she expects to be able to move to some snooty part of town, presumably courtesy of my hard earned cash. Presumably! You don't even know what are her plans. Did you discussed household expenses with her? Does she contributes with household labor? Did you both tried to figure out the budget?
You both make good money. You both spend money on personal stuff. Maybe she is tired of living in a rental? Maybe there is enough money to move to a better place? Compromise could be reached.
Did you tried?
Then she said that she works longer hours than me, and that I have the luxury of working from home. I said what's that got to do with anything. Then she went silent. I asked her again, and no response.
Again - it's all about you. The self importance! Whatever she does at work, doesn't count...
So the long and the short of it is this :
I build my own business from scratch, I work hard at it, I earn enough money to take care of my financial obligations to our household, I treat myself from time to time on things that genuinely add to my happiness and self improvement, and I'm happy as things are. It's all about you and your personal happiness, no? Do you do anything together? Happy things? Or you just work on your self improvement (needed much?), surrounded by nice things and expensive hobbies?
Meanwhile, she contributes very little to our expenses, wastes money on nonsense, and expects "us" (me) to fund some new life in snootyville.
No way jose. I said if that's what she wants she should go and marry the nearest fool because it's not going to happen. In fact I said I've been carrying her for way too long and it's time for me to start paying only my fair share of our expenses and not a penny more. I said I've been an idiot for allowing this to go on, but this is where it ends.
Then she turned on the waterworks. I laughed and went out for a drink. When I returned she was gone. This was 2 weeks ago and I've not seen her or heard from her.
If she wants a divorce I don't think I'd have any problem with that. Quite honestly she's been getting on my nerves for months with her spending habits, her selfishness, her lack of self reflection and her hypocrisy.
I've taken all her things to her parents house, given my notice to the landlord (yes, we rent, or rather I do, much to her disapproval) and started looking for a new place. I've also made appointments with the best divorce lawyers in the area although I already know someone and he's very good. Now, who is vindictive here?
So if she wants a hot shot I guess she's going to have to look further afield. We don't share bank accounts (again, much to her disapproval) so there's nothing to do there. I don't like all this hassle but I can sense that this is the end and it's best for me to protect myself in every way, including ensuring that any future conversations that we have are recorded, as well as protecting my assets although I don't think it would be wise to go into specifics.
So, you rather get divorced than try to work on your marriage?
Maybe you are the self centered, selfish, childish, spoiled, entitled, boring husband, and she is trying to buy a little happiness for herself?
The bottom line is that she is selfish, entitled, and she has quite a mean, vindictive streak and I know what she'd do if she can legally get away with it. I'm a fool - honest at last! for having put up with it for so long, but no more. I've learned my lesson. But what a shame. 10 years.
You don't sound like you're lamenting the end of your 10-year marriage at all. You sound as though you are celebrating it. Quite self-congratulatory, actually. Definitely sounds like the right decision as your post is full of "I," "me," and "she" -- and no "we."
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