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Way to encourage someone who's trying to make a change for themselves! You telling her she lacks self esteem is not like discovering America- I'm sure she knows that already and is looking for some way to start doing something about it. How about throwing some useful/supportive to say?
He might've been harsh but he's right. If a woman doesn't like herself how can she expect a man to like her?
I have to exercise more and eat healthier. I know that no man will look at me till I am at a perfect figure
You should change from I HAVE to I AM...
If you think you need to exercise more, lose weight, and eat healthier - do it for you, for your own benefit.
You need to like you more, to love you more. You need to feel comfortable with yourself.
And you don't need to be perfect - not for yourself, or anyone else.
Way to encourage someone who's trying to make a change for themselves! You telling her she lacks self esteem is not like discovering America- I'm sure she knows that already and is looking for some way to start doing something about it. How about throwing some useful/supportive to say?
It takes more than a pat on the back and telling her whatever she wants to hear to help her. This is a common problem among women, especially younger girls. I was one of them. I didn't need to lose weight but I had always been the skinny minnie among my peers. Growing up, I had been told how ugly I was, called names like the walking stick, told there was something wrong with me, etc. Boys didn't give me any time of the day - there were other girls my age who fit the "perfect" body type. I also had others who complimented me and gave me encouragement. Those compliments were not enough to convince me why I wasn't asked out on a date.
Then one day, I realized that's okay.
I was able to build my self esteem back up because I accepted that you cannot live life based on what other people think of you.
That was twenty years ago. Once I started to care what I think of myself, I didn't have problems getting asked out on dates. Men do not want to be used as the crutch for your confidence. Be strong in the mind, be healthy in the body and have positive thoughts. Good things will come.
And yes, get a dog or a cat. Studies have proven pets help you build confidence and dig you out of depression.
I have to exercise more and eat healthier. I know that no man will look at me till I am at a perfect figure
That is not true. But if you are grotesquely fat or clearly overweight in an excessive and unhealthy way, then that is not men's fault for steering clear of that.
Get a bike. Become a bike riding fanatic. It is fun, it gets you outdoors, and if you work hard over time to increase your mileage (at least 3 times a week), the fat will come off. It will.
Tammy1629: Make ANY changes in your weight, body, health, etc., for YOURSELF! You must not make your happiness & sense worth dependent on the "love" of ANY man (or woman) ! (please tell me that you are aware that there are PLENTY of unhappy thinner folk)
Location: IN>Germany>ND>OH>TX>CA>Currently NoVa and a Vacation Lake House in PA
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I think this topic comes up on City Data so much, because there are chubby people that have higher standards for a mate than they have for themselves. OP, lower your sites on someone chubby like yourself, and you'll be fine. Otherwise, lose the weight and quit whining.
I think this topic comes up on City Data so much, because there are chubby people that have higher standards for a mate than they have for themselves. OP, lower your sites on someone chubby like yourself, and you'll be fine. Otherwise, lose the weight and quit whining.
As a chubby person, I find that it is rare fellow "chubby" people are interested in me. Usually it is slim or athletic people. Maybe it is just me!
But it definitely helps to actually believe in your self, and develop a high self-esteem independent of how people perceive you!
I have to exercise more and eat healthier. I know that no man will look at me till I am at a perfect figure
The good news is you're wrong. I'm proof of that: I prefer overweight women. The bad news for you is I'm already married! But there are a lot like me out there!
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