What The Hell is Wrong With Me? (girl, children, internet)
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I was at whole foods today and saw this girl who works out at my gym. She was pretty much perfect - cute face, very buff but feminine figure, obviously a big health freak, my age, lives in the area, seemed very classy. I wanted to say something to her so bad but just nothing came out - I had so much at my disposal too - she works out at my gym like I said, I know a lot about the things she was buying
What is wrong with me? Why does my mind want to keep me permanently single? My self esteem is the absolute highest it's ever been right now. I can go to work and have confidence that I can sell 40 cars in a month because I do have the capacity to be incredibly charismatic but it just doesn't translate over to dating. Why Is it so hard for me to believe a girl my age like that would love me?
Grrrrrrr makes me so mad
Selling cars isn't the same as selling yourself. Anyone with a smile and a capacity to stretch the truth can sell a car. You make your pitch, they buy it, buy the car and go home. Different.
Forget about any expectations and just start out by saying something to her as you would a friend, or anyone else you keep running into. She has to know you exist, as more than something she sees once in a while, like the door to the gym. Forget the self esteem, since that's not the issue right now. Find that "self confidence" expect nothing, and move that first Chess piece. You will know soon enough, if you should continue the match. What have you got to lose? What's the worst thing that can happen? She can brush you off, or is already committed. You lose nothing.
My problem is that I still make dating to be way harder than it is and I inflate women's standards to impossible levels. I feel like I have to be the most perfect man to ever live for a decent woman to like me. In my mind, woman will not want to date me unless I'm perfect beyond perfect - like there's no way for me to be good enough for them to like me no matter how much I improve myself. Why do I do this to myself?
I wish I could just come back down to earth, this stuff is not hard, women just want a good man who obviously takes care of himself but has a good heart. I understand this on a surface level but it just doesn't register subconsciously.
Get professional help. Being a chew toy on the Internet will not solve your problems (because you refuse to listen to anyone), nor will it get you a date.
You need help. ..lots of psychiatric help.....not another woe-is-me thread.
I wish I could just come back down to earth, this stuff is not hard, women just want a good man who obviously takes care of himself but has a good heart. I understand this on a surface level but it just doesn't register subconsciously.
Stop trying to figure out what women want. Be yourself, but get some confidence. No one is going to shoot you if you fail. No one knows what each individual woman is looking for, or if she is even looking. I can tell you that no one wants anyone that is trying to be some one else, just to please another, because that's what they "think" the other person wants.
Stop talking about it and get a pair. Go do it. If you get shot down, at least you engaged.
You're starting to come off a bit neurotic here, same basic questions, just reworded differently. I'm starting to wonder if you're violating any of the TOS......
Agreed.
You know, you shouldn't worry about why you can't approach a woman. You should worry about your pathological need to whine & complain about it, and your need to continually ask the same questions over and over to strangers on the Internet.
Besides, if you did speak to a woman and she showed interest, I don't think you could handle it. You really need to seek professional counseling, for the reasons above, and for the fact that you seem to enjoy humiliating yourself on the Internet. It's not normal. None of this is normal.
My problem is that I still make dating to be way harder than it is and I inflate women's standards to impossible levels. I feel like I have to be the most perfect man to ever live for a decent woman to like me. In my mind, woman will not want to date me unless I'm perfect beyond perfect - like there's no way for me to be good enough for them to like me no matter how much I improve myself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Boris347
Stop trying to figure out what women want.
This OP seems to be stuck on the belief that women are one monolithic group all looking for the exact same thing. I am no ladies man but I understand that every woman is unique and is looking for different and unique things out of not just dating, but life in general. This OP needs to come to this conclusion before he can get past his hangup(s).
We have explained it to you in the countless threads you've started. You are yet to listen. Figure it out yourself.
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