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I'm surprised your therapist hasn't suggested talking to him.
Most therapy is bullshyt is why, they get paid a lot of money to listen to people whine and snivel.
OP, you yourself have said that he does the basics and he's an overall good guy, man... it's only been six months let it go or you're going to end chasing him away... men, as dumb asses as we can be, can pick up stuff after awhile and if he's gun shy as you've indicated that you both are, he's gonna bolt if he feels too much pressure.....
Seriously? You can't get control over your thoughts and now admit that he's turned off by it. You are eroding your relationship and your issue is yours to resolve, not his responsibility. If you can't get a grip on your runaway mind, you should speak to a professional or you'll never have a healthy relationship.
Yep ^^^^.
If your therapist hasn't figured this one out, then yes, you need a new therapist.
You're used to drama, and when it doesn't exist, you choose to create it. I used to do the same thing.
It's like you aren't seeing the relationship on its own merit, the way it actually is. You are comparing it to this imaginary relationship in your mind, and when it doesn't align, you start to question it.
But those wheels in your head are making you question the wrong things.
6 months is half a year - plenty of time. Regardless, the real issue here is that you're not on the same page. You want to hear it, he's not saying it.
And please, for the love of god, do not ask him if he loves you - it screams insecure.
6 months is half a year - plenty of time. Regardless, the real issue here is that you're not on the same page. You want to hear it, he's not saying it.
And please, for the love of god, do not ask him if he loves you - it screams insecure.
The question is.. Do you love him? If you want to know if he loves you, just be direct and bring it up. After 9 months of knowing one another, I feel like the person should at least have an idea. Meaning he should be starting to fall in love with you, at the very least. Honestly if it were me I wouldn't see a point in continuing the relationship if he didn't love me after 9 months, but that's just me. I feel like that's plenty of time to know.
Another poster says its insecure to ask if he loves you. I don't think it is. I think you should bring it up and just find out what his feelings are. If he doesn't love you by now , honestly, why stay with him??
And please, for the love of god, do not ask him if he loves you - it screams insecure.
Agree. Never EVER ask. It's just the ultimate and worst kind of fishing for compliments.
Quote:
Originally Posted by thatgirl10000
What do you suggest I do?
Just be with him. STOP worrying about hearing the words. Put it out of your mind. Test yourself.
There is NO set time frame for when someone "should" say it. But if you ASK him, then that IMMEDIATELY puts him on the clock, and seriously ... who wants to be TOLD (whether outright or implied) that they "need" to say "I love you"?
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