My boyfriend of 6 months has yet to say "I love you." (date, marry)
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OP~ You've told us things he has done that you asked him to do. You said he even went beyond that by taking you to meet his family. I would like to hear what you have done that he has asked you to do. Or things you have done for him on your own & that he truly appreciated. I'm just trying to get a better feel for the relationship.
The problem is that he could simply be going through the motions. I realize since he's demonstrating care and respect that it MEANS something, but there's still a chance that he's not in love with her. I also feel like the reason she posted this topic was because she is deep down doubting the relationship and doesn't think he is in love with her. In that case I would say for her to just ask so she knows. If he says "no", then it will
Hurt like hell but at least she can stop wasting her time and try to find someone who will fall in love with her and be happier with her.
I'm only saying his because it's clearly important to the op that her guy loves her. There is a chance he doesn't, and it's sad but I think she should just bring it up. she has to accept that he may not love her and act accordingly.
I think you hit the nail right on the head about why I am concerned even though he has done everything I've asked, includes me in plans he makes with his closest friends, has introduced me to his family, etc. Without him telling me that he loves me, what I'm afraid of is that he could just be going through the motions. But then again, you can ask this question about any new(ish) relationship, right? Without knowing the person really well, you don't know. I'm thinking that since it's only been a week since he introduced me to his folks, which is the biggest step he's taken in the relationship, I'll continue observing and see if the three words will come in the next couple of months.
OP~ You've told us things he has done that you asked him to do. You said he even went beyond that by taking you to meet his family. I would like to hear what you have done that he has asked you to do. Or things you have done for him on your own & that he truly appreciated. I'm just trying to get a better feel for the relationship.
What he appreciates most and always thanks me for is that I'm always there to support him when he has a show. He's in entertainment, and every time there's a show, I make it a point that I'm free to physically show my support. Also, when he was recounting everything he likes about me, he said he really appreciates that I give him a lot of "me" time. I'm not a gf who requires that her bf check in with her about every single thing he does. He has also met my friends. I include him in activities with my friends (unless it's a girls' day out). He hasn't met my family because they live in another country.
So it sounds like one of the most important things that he likes about you is that you give him "me" time? I would be a little disappointed if that were my boyfriends response to what you asked. I understand giving someone me time, but for it to be one of the top things that a boyfriend to like about the relationship?? I don't know. I could be wrong but sounds weird.
What were the other things he said he likes about you?
I think you hit the nail right on the head about why I am concerned even though he has done everything I've asked, includes me in plans he makes with his closest friends, has introduced me to his family, etc. Without him telling me that he loves me, what I'm afraid of is that he could just be going through the motions. But then again, you can ask this question about any new(ish) relationship, right? Without knowing the person really well, you don't know. I'm thinking that since it's only been a week since he introduced me to his folks, which is the biggest step he's taken in the relationship, I'll continue observing and see if the three words will come in the next couple of months.
You really need to take a big step back and see that someone who is just going through the motions in a relationship would not bother to introduce you to his friends and family.
I highly suggest you read The Five Love Languages, by Gary Chapman, ASAP, to help understand that people have different ways of expressing love. I really feel you are close to running this relationship right into a ditch over your perceived timeline of when someone should say I love you, and disregarding all the ways he shows love and caring.
Sigh. It's 13 pages later, and you're still on here asking everyone what they think.
You're going to do this until/unless he ever says those words to you, or he walks away. So, here's what I think:
Stop asking a bunch of strangers on the internet why your guy hasn't said he loves you yet. We do not matter. We are not in the relationship. If you want to know why he hasn't said it yet, ASK HIM!
If you can't communicate with your bf, there's definitely no future there.
I think I’ve gotten some perspective on my issue, after seeing someone in my industry post about her breakup on Facebook. I’ve noticed that I have acquaintances who started relationships after my relationship with my bf started, and who would publicly declare their love for their partners, and whose partners would publicly declare their love, too. And their relationships ended recently, or are on-and-off, while my relationship with my man is progressing and stable. Their relationships, from what I had seen in person and on FB, were seemingly of the I’m-so-in-love-with-you, can’t-live-without-you kind, but paradise seemed to have ended abruptly for them. They complain of cheating, frequent fights, etc. It seems to be the opposite of what I have in my relationship, but my relationship is still standing, so I guess we’re doing something right. I’m really grateful for that.
I’m saying this not because I totally don’t care anymore about hearing the words “I love you” soon (because I still want to hear it!), but I'm not upset anymore, like I was when I started this thread. I do appreciate that I’m with a guy who’s not giving me the headache that my girlfriends seem to be experiencing with their rollercoaster, drama-filled, i-love-you-filled relationships.
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