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If she's less worried about waking up for work the next day, she's more mentally free to live in the moment. Sometimes weeknight dates in the early stages can feel compressed because of work the next day and that doesn't serve anyone well. That's part of why I advocate finding a long-term partner earlier in life (during high school or college), so that you don't face constraints in getting to know someone. Getting to know someone at a mentally unburdened time in life is helpful.
She's stuck with the pet until it dies at the moment, which may not be long, but the point is never to get the pets to begin with. Pets are better served in households of two than one. Western culture encourages a mentality of now where only the individual is considered and not the collective unit. Sometimes you have to think for the collective when the collective does not yet exist. It is well known that cat allergies are common and that a lot of people are not pet people. Sadly, this thought process doesn't exist for a lot of people of both sexes.
I sense a cultural difference here.
No, it is not wise to find a life partner at that age. People that age don't even know themselves well enough to know what they want from a partner and from life. Forget it.
A pet person is going to be a person whether he or she is single or part of a couple. No one should pass up the desire to have a pet just because a non-pet person might come into his/her life. The two would not be compatible, anyway. I have a pet. I would NEVER be with someone who doesn't like or want pets. We come as a package deal. Don't like my pet? Get lost, he was here first, has been here for 14 years, and will be here at least another 10. As my pet has never been a deterrent to dating and forming relationships, I think you place way too much emphasis on this.
Furthermore, any man who does not like pets would automatically be suspect. That strikes me as insecure and hypercompetitive, the kind of man who thinks a woman's attention should be focused on him whenever he's in the room, and who can't stand that her attention might be focused elsewhere. Complete turn-off.
No, it is not wise to find a life partner at that age. People that age don't even know themselves well enough to know what they want from a partner and from life. Forget it.
A pet person is going to be a person whether he or she is single or part of a couple. No one should pass up the desire to have a pet just because a non-pet person might come into his/her life. The two would not be compatible, anyway. I have a pet. I would NEVER be with someone who doesn't like or want pets. We come as a package deal. Don't like my pet? Get lost, he was here first, has been here for 14 years, and will be here at least another 10. As my pet has never been a deterrent to dating and forming relationships, I think you place way too much emphasis on this.
Furthermore, any man who does not like pets would automatically be suspect. That strikes me as insecure and hypercompetitive, the kind of man who thinks a woman's attention should be focused on him whenever he's in the room, and who can't stand that her attention might be focused elsewhere. Complete turn-off.
I see your point about life stages. I don't agree with it because as time goes on, the dating pool narrows. It gets harder to find the best singles. So I think it is better take someone earlier on and move on rather than dragging it out.
I am a non-pet person, you are correct. I didn't grow up in a household with pets and I've never been inclined to have one as an adult. There are pet people and I understand that. And before I am cast as an animal disliker, that's not the case. I really like horses and aquatic animals. But I don't own either.
I actually think your attitude is very self-centered about your pet. You are willing to pass up romance over an animal just because the animal was there first. And if you are a household of one, you are more limited in what you can do vs having more support around you, which is better for the animal. A romantic relationship adds far more value in life than a animal. And you are only able to get away with your attitude because the demand for females is higher due to epic degrees of male thirst. You would be incompatible with non-pet owners because after a guy reaches a certain age (mid to late 20s or so), if he wanted a pet, he would have gotten one for himself. Someone with a pet may be amenable to another person's
My inclination has always been more collective than individual. I like the idea of forming a relationship from a blank slate. No kids, no pets, no owned real estate. That way, the couple forms their own markers of domesticity together than taking on someone's else past.
I see your point about life stages. I don't agree with it because as time goes on, the dating pool narrows. It gets harder to find the best singles. So I think it is better take someone earlier on and move on rather than dragging it out.
I am a non-pet person, you are correct. I didn't grow up in a household with pets and I've never been inclined to have one as an adult. There are pet people and I understand that. And before I am cast as an animal disliker, that's not the case. I really like horses and aquatic animals. But I don't own either.
I actually think your attitude is very self-centered about your pet. You are willing to pass up romance over an animal just because the animal was there first. And if you are a household of one, you are more limited in what you can do vs having more support around you, which is better for the animal. A romantic relationship adds far more value in life than a animal. And you are only able to get away with your attitude because the demand for females is higher due to epic degrees of male thirst. You would be incompatible with non-pet owners because after a guy reaches a certain age (mid to late 20s or so), if he wanted a pet, he would have gotten one for himself. Someone with a pet may be amenable to another person's
My inclination has always been more collective than individual. I like the idea of forming a relationship from a blank slate. No kids, no pets, no owned real estate. That way, the couple forms their own markers of domesticity together than taking on someone's else past.
Ever hear the phrase, "The more people I meet, the more I love my pet?" Exactly.
Yes, I would pass up romance over a pet. You overestimate the importance of romance in everyone's lives. Sorry, nope, it's not all that, and it's not that important. I'm divorced. My pet went with me. (Actually, we got him together, but I'm his chosen person, and our other pet went with my ex because she preferred him and was happier with him.) I had other relationships. My pet is still here.
Don't worry about my situation. He's sitting right next to me. In fact, if anything, I might get another one. Much as we get along, he'd benefit from having someone of his own species around to interact with, too.
You're wrong about men and pets. I know a lot of men who get pets for the first time in their 30s and beyond.
You should keep your blanket statements and judgments to yourself. They sound sexist and definitely unappealing. You stick with your subservient women who will give you all their attention, I'll stick with men who are a little more confident and a little less arrogant than to think they are the be-all and end-all of a woman's life.
4. The fact that you have had a cat for so long has worked against you. If you are single, I don't recommend pet ownership. Cat allergies are common, eliminating many men from your potential dating pool. Even many men without cat allergies do not like cats.
this is the most ridiculous thing i have read in a long time. if a potential date has a problem with the fact that i have a cat (which i don't, btw, but if i did!!!) then that person is certainly not the person for me and not someone that i would want to have around anyway. seriously...yeah, let's tell people that they should get rid of their pets or don't get any pets if you are single so that they can meet someone of the opposite sex.
I haven't read through the entire thread, and I usually try and assume that the OP might be legit. In all reality most threads aren't real, most of the time they are made up BS.
My little lizard brain can't figure out how someone could get their jollies by telling fake stories online.... it completely baffles me....
I'm a straight forward person in terms logic... and the pieces don't add up for me to get how it could be fun for someone....
i agree. i always wonder what sort of thrill people get when they come on here and pose as someone else, making up a story for fun. i don't get it.
My issue is I have no experience and I don't exude any sexual appeal. I am 5'4, 117 lbs. I am thin and lack curves, (this is the biggest problem with my body). I have thought about breast augmentation, to possibly boost my chances of attracting more attention.
That's a look you can work. Models have that body type and clothes look great on them. One of my GFs had that thin "boy" body, she had no trouble getting lots and lots of dates.
I would lead with the fact that you are socially awkward on OLD. There's a lot of similar guys who would find it a relief to find a similar girl. Also, practice in advance things you can talk about, study people in movies and how they interact. Fake it until you make it.
Your perceived flaws can be your greatest assets.
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OP, since you are so dead set on getting a boob job, please go out and get one, come back to this thread in 2-3 months time and tell us how it's still hopeless for you after getting expensive cosmetic surgery, then maybe you'll realize that there is a deeper issue in finding a relationship than just making your chest larger.
Never has there been a time in history where things have been more slanted towards women. Male thirst is at an all-time high and there is an abundance of males between 18-39. If you wanted to get it done, you could have a solid boyfriend in a month.
1. Your physique is just fine. With an abundance of overweight women, the fact that you are not overweight works to your favor. Don't worry about your boobs.
2. Your social skills and social anxiety are issues. You need to be in therapy of some sort. This is the most important point. If you choose a psychiatrist, a psychiatrist can prescribe meds in addition to talk therapy. This statement is not intended to be a diagnosis of any sort. Only a professional can do that. But you need to take action and see some sort of professional, either a psychologist or psychiatrist.
3. Instead of vacationing alone, take your days off to staycation and go on dates at home without the pressure of having to wake up for work in the morning. I bet you would have a more spectacular first date on a Tuesday night without the pressure of work bearing down on your psyche.
4. The fact that you have had a cat for so long has worked against you. If you are single, I don't recommend pet ownership. Cat allergies are common, eliminating many men from your potential dating pool. Even many men without cat allergies do not like cats.
5. Definitely be realistic in assessing your prospects.
Really? You recommend getting rid of the most common household pet in America? Getting rid of a pet is a horrible thing to do to the animal and it changes who you are. You should not have to change who you are to find a date, when you start pretending to be someone else you start falling down a dark path that you eventually will not be able to stay in.
The moment you get rid of a cat and find a date, that guy may be a cat lover, things can work both ways.
Your revised advice should be, "Since you have a cat, take extra special care of your clothing to keep cat dander and cat hair off, make sure your home does not smell of cats or kitty litter, as these can be off putting. Even people with allergies to cats can stand a clean home with a cat."
I don't think I'd date anyone that didn't like dogs. Although I'm not as much of a cat person, I would never NOT date someone because they had a cat - and if I was a cat person and did have a cat, I certainly wouldn't date someone that wanted me to get rid of my cat. I'm an animal lover and am only interested in fellow animal lovers.
this is the most ridiculous thing i have read in a long time. if a potential date has a problem with the fact that i have a cat (which i don't, btw, but if i did!!!) then that person is certainly not the person for me and not someone that i would want to have around anyway. seriously...yeah, let's tell people that they should get rid of their pets or don't get any pets if you are single so that they can meet someone of the opposite sex.
I know. Completely ridiculous!!!
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