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I miss the men that are like that. They are like a dying breed. My husband is a gentleman and offers to pay even though I make more than he does. He has his times when he makes more, it's part of his business. He used to have two tat studios, but sold one since he couldn't afford the overhead. It hit him hard. But he is still the man that pays for dinner when we go out. I offer to pay too, but most of the time he tells me to put it away. He knows I give back in other ways that appreciates. It is part of the co-operation. This new generation of guys forget the subtle nuances of what a relationship is about.
If you are married, it doesn't matter who pays. The money belongs to both of you.
If you're waiting around for some girl to spilt everything 50/50, you might be waiting for a long time. On the one hand, you don't necessarily want a girl who's only in it for the free food. Still, it may be a cultural thing. Women expecting men to pay. I've had a few millionaire girlfriends. At first, they were eager to pay their share. But that almost seemed like a show. Anyway, maybe it's all part of being male. Sometimes, you have to pay. I wouldn't waste too many brain cells worrying about it.
Even without her cooking, you shouldn't split the check. Simply agree to take turns picking up the tab. That is not embarrassing, it's empowering.
You should still treat her occasionally, for no reason, because it makes her feel happy and loved.
I agree here. I dislike splitting bills (usually there are only two of us dining) even if I'm eating with another guy. It's just easier for me and the restaurants as well. I'll just pick up the tab the first time and let my companion return the favor the next time.
With women I'm dating, I don't usually alternate bills (and never split them). If the girls never offers to pay after the first few dates, I'll say something like 'I'll let you have the honors tonight' when the bill comes due on a later date. Its never been an issue.
I agree (in a sense) that you've been frugal in some ways. That said, her behavior seems a little strange, not necessarily money grubbing per se but keeping score (as if her cooking for you is at an hourly rate and obliges you to pick up future tabs to compensate for her cooking).
If it's concerning, you should have a discussion with her about it. I don't like the idea of agreeing to terms per se (we will split bills moving forward, alternate, etc.) but, if that's what it takes, then it could be a good move.
Knowing nothing else about your relationship, I don't like where this is going but that's just my $0.02.
It could be regional. Seriously, none of my friends regularly carry cash. It is more like "surprise I have cash today!" I try to remember to keep $10. But it doesn't always work. No one has a problem using card for a bagel, or coffee....
I never carry cash unless traveling (as I am today). If places don't take CC, I don't patronize them. The cash when traveling is for gratuities (housekeeping, front door staff, etc.).
Too funny. By reading the postings AFTER the reveal, this proves that most people don't read and will post a response without knowing the full story. Moral of the story... posters should not take the advice of people from a forum seriously.
The OP is cheap to the point of being a complete P repellant.
The OP is actually the girlfriend. So it's not surprising that she painted the "OP" as a cheap bast…
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