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I'm trying to understand this a bit more. I know most men have a much higher sex drive than most women. Women can go for months even years without sex. But men are much more sexually active. When I'm dating someone, they seem to want it every time we see each other. That makes me want to test them to see if they're not using me for sex by turning them down every now and then. I recognize this might seem like a game so I will only do it if I'm REALLY not feeling it or if I sense that they only like me for my body.
My male friends complain about the women they date having this same complaint. They don't seem to understand how women could feel they're being used for sex. And I can't get seem to get men to see the same way I do about sex. Even the ones who seem to really like me seem to want sex every time they see me like they expect it. If I don't give it, they seem really disappointed. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy sex, and I try and please when I can. I usually give it 2-3 times a week when I'm dating someone. But when your partner just expects it, it seems less satisfying and makes me want to hold back.
Any one else have a wise theory for this and how to go about making it better since men and women seem to be on different sex/emotion levels?
BTW, is holding back one of the worst things to do to a man? What if I'm just not feeling it especially if I sense he's expecting it? I sensed that for a guy I was dating. I told him I wasn't feeling it. He asked if I will feel it the next day since we said we would meet up again the next day. That just turned me off even more and made me not want to give it the next day as well.. :/ But he seemed to really like me before that or at least I thought so...
My sex drive is pretty high so I never feel like I'm being used for sex. The only time I had any doubts about it was when my bf and I did it so much that it made me question as to whether or not our relationship would sustain without it. It did, but he's now my ex for other reasons. Sex only feels like a chore to me when I'm sleepy/tired and he wants it - that's when a compromise kicks in. I don't think you should "hold back" sex, try communicating with your partner and work out something you both can agree on. I actually get turned on knowing I can turn on my bf the moment he sees me and wants sex, but that's just me.
I'm trying to understand this a bit more. I know most men have a much higher sex drive than most women. Women can go for months even years without sex. But men are much more sexually active. When I'm dating someone, they seem to want it every time we see each other. That makes me want to test them to see if they're not using me for sex by turning them down every now and then. I recognize this might seem like a game so I will only do it if I'm REALLY not feeling it or if I sense that they only like me for my body.
My male friends complain about the women they date having this same complaint. They don't seem to understand how women could feel they're being used for sex. And I can't get seem to get men to see the same way I do about sex. Even the ones who seem to really like me seem to want sex every time they see me like they expect it. If I don't give it, they seem really disappointed. Don't get me wrong, I do enjoy sex, and I try and please when I can. I usually give it 2-3 times a week when I'm dating someone. But when your partner just expects it, it seems less satisfying and makes me want to hold back.
Any one else have a wise theory for this and how to go about making it better since men and women seem to be on different sex/emotion levels?
BTW, is holding back one of the worst things to do to a man? What if I'm just not feeling it especially if I sense he's expecting it? I sensed that for a guy I was dating. I told him I wasn't feeling it. He asked if I will feel it the next day since we said we would meet up again the next day. That just turned me off even more and made me not want to give it the next day as well.. :/ But he seemed to really like me before that or at least I thought so...
If you really enjoy it, then you should be doing it for yourself not "giving" it as a treat.
How would you feel if your bf refused to give you attention or pamper you or say he loves you solely because he felt like you were expecting it?
You should probably worry less about what men think and more about what you think. Most red blooded American males are going to try and have sex at every opportunity in the dating phase. When women make that unavailable some of the take off and some off them stick around depending on how much they are into the woman. If a woman "isn't feeling it" once out of the 2-3 times than it's a trend to worry about, but if it's once only a guy with issues would fret about it.
If a man is using you for sex, that's all you will do when the two of you are together. He won't want to take you places. He won't want to introduce you to his friends. He won't introduce you to his family.
Idk, most of women that I dated or married, had high sex drives. Even when divorcing my ex always wanted to do it. But this wasn't something that just happens, it has to do with what you bring to the table. When I hear anyone say their wife/gf doesn't have time or energy for sex, I ask myself "wonder what the guy is doing wrong". I have friends who complain and I've told them, had arguments about it...lazy af.
Yes, OP I think it is your attitude. If you are getting out as much as you put into it, then both will be having a really good time. As soon as one is putting more in than the other, things start to become unequal and uneven. That will naturally bring up the idea that one is doing it for the other and resentment kicks in. That is where you are at the moment.
What makes you think women dont have as high a sex drive as men? As they get a little older they probably have more than men.
Yes, OP I think it is your attitude. If you are getting out as much as you put into it, then both will be having a really good time. As soon as one is putting more in than the other, things start to become unequal and uneven. That will naturally bring up the idea that one is doing it for the other and resentment kicks in. That is where you are at the moment.
What makes you think women dont have as high a sex drive as men? As they get a little older they probably have more than men.
Women have a higher sex drive than men in my opinion
Women have a higher sex drive than men in my opinion
I wish that was true/ it would alleviate me from doing most of the pursuing.
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