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Keep helping him. From my own experience, I would be nowhere if it weren't for my mother's help. Luckily, I found a path that pays bills (I'm a lawyer). She helped me since day one and all throughout law school. I still had my responsibilities and actually worked while pursuing my undergrad and worked full time while in law school, but every now and then there was some sort of huge expense that I couldn't stomach and she was there by my side. I'm extremely grateful for her love and assistance and I truly believe I would not have made it if it wasn't for her support. I have only read like three comments so far and they were all negative. Don't listen to those people.
OP doesn't just offer assistance rarely and only when needed, she darn near wipes his bottom for him. She makes sure that he is not held responsible for ANYTHING in his life. Flunked out of college, living at home, paying no bills, no job, destroyed a BORROWED car, won't even let him walk a mile by himself.
Keep helping him. From my own experience, I would be nowhere if it weren't for my mother's help. Luckily, I found a path that pays bills (I'm a lawyer). She helped me since day one and all throughout law school. I still had my responsibilities and actually worked while pursuing my undergrad and worked full time while in law school, but every now and then there was some sort of huge expense that I couldn't stomach and she was there by my side. I'm extremely grateful for her love and assistance and I truly believe I would not have made it if it wasn't for her support. I have only read like three comments so far and they were all negative. Don't listen to those people.
He's an unemployed bum, who is taking a single class, has a pregnant GF, and he broke the car his relative lent him due to misuse.
It's going well so far.
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Keep helping him. From my own experience, I would be nowhere if it weren't for my mother's help. Luckily, I found a path that pays bills (I'm a lawyer). She helped me since day one and all throughout law school. I still had my responsibilities and actually worked while pursuing my undergrad and worked full time while in law school, but every now and then there was some sort of huge expense that I couldn't stomach and she was there by my side. I'm extremely grateful for her love and assistance and I truly believe I would not have made it if it wasn't for her support. I have only read like three comments so far and they were all negative. Don't listen to those people.
Let me hazard a guess here. You're a defense attorney and all your clients are innocent.
Do you see the parallel? This individual has no responsibilities and no accountability. His mother lives his life for him so in essence he has no life. If that's what love is really about then I've been wrong for 70 years.
WOW, you'll never believe what he just told me. In response to his email we've had some back and forth conversations and I sent him an email asking if he had expected his daughter to just lay around all week and do nothing. She's home from college on spring break so if he expects my son to work then I expect the same from his daughter. He said that there's a difference between my son and his daughter. His daughter is away at college taking a full course load while my son is only taking one graphic design class. he says there's a major difference between the two. I look at it this way. Not that his daughter is at a major college and my son is taking a class but that they both are in school so they both should be treated the same.
When you have a full course load spring break often means doing a lot of studying, assignments, research papers, catching up on reading and so on. You might get to visit your family, do laundry and catch up on some sleep too.
School work IS work.
Please tell me you are a troll, please oh please. I'm scared to think you are real.
Keep helping him. From my own experience, I would be nowhere if it weren't for my mother's help. Luckily, I found a path that pays bills (I'm a lawyer). She helped me since day one and all throughout law school. I still had my responsibilities and actually worked while pursuing my undergrad and worked full time while in law school, but every now and then there was some sort of huge expense that I couldn't stomach and she was there by my side. I'm extremely grateful for her love and assistance and I truly believe I would not have made it if it wasn't for her support. I have only read like three comments so far and they were all negative. Don't listen to those people.
Read the post history before making another comment.
As many of you know my youngest son is currently living with us. He's 19 and will be 20 in a few months. He flunked out of college his freshman year because he got into partying and wasn't studying or going to class. My husband likes to put some of the blame on his girlfriend because her parents would take her to his college and drop her off for a week at a time. My husband still holds that against him but I told him it's time to let that go.
Well, my son is now enrolled in a graphic design class and will finish up the program some time this coming Aug. He was working and using my niece, his cousin's car while she is away at college but when he wouldn't change the oil and do the regular maintenance on it the engine locked up and is now sitting at my parent's house. My husband said that he's got it too easy and everyone is doing everything for him. My dad is now picking him up and taking him to and from school daily. His girlfriend pays for their dates and even her parents will let him come stay with them for a couple of days and even take him on vacations with them. I'll give him my car on the weekends to go see his girlfriend because he is still a good kid. My husband thinks he needs more responsibilities so early in Feb. he told my son that he had till the end of the month to get a job. There are a number of fast food restaurants, grocery stores, auto parts stores and things within a mile of our house. My husband told him to walk up to these places and put in applications at every one of them. A few days ago my husband asked him if he had put in the applications and he said no because he was waiting to finish his graphic design class and get a sales position with a company. My husband hit the roof. That afternoon I took him up to those places and let him put in applications.
Well, his class is having a Taco Tuesday today and last night we all were out at the store and he needed some taco sauce cause that's what he was suppose to bring. We needed milk and a few things for the house so when we got to the register my son slid his taco sauce in with the other groceries and my husband paid for them. Yes, he made mention to the fact that he was paying for my son's stuff but let it go. This morning he sent me an email saying that he felt suckered into buying that sauce for him. If you're not working and have no money then you don't volunteer to bring anything. He told me that he felt suckered last night cause when we got to the register I told him to "just pay for it, it's only $2."
He said that I should have never driven him up to those restaurants given that they are only a mile down the road. Now he feels he's going to be dependent on me to get him to and from work if he gets one of those jobs.
Why doesn't he understand a mother is going to do what ever she needs to do to help her kids?
This has to be a fake post. If not, it's a family from hell.
A deadbeat son.
A enabler for a mother.
An inflexible father.
Gotta say it. The one I'm most sympathetic with is the dad in this situation, chiefly because he's been on the receiving end of all these shenanigans.
Your son is 19. He is an adult, not a boy. At his age and younger, men charged up the slopes of Iwo Jima, supported families, and ventured out to see the world. Your son can't even be bothered to hold down a part-time job. He is too trifling to change the oil in his car. And he is apparently content to allow the world to subsidize and coddle him.
As a parent, you need to know two things:
1) Never, ever allow your children to drive a wedge between you and your spouse. Because kids move out, while you're supposedly in this for life with your spouse.
2) As a parent, your job is to not be your children's friend. That will come later in life. Yes, you can have fun with them. Yes, you can throw the baseball in the back yard. Yes, you have to create the bonds of trust and mutual respect. But your ultimate job is to turn your child into a functioning adult, one who can clean up his own messes, support himself in the world, and generally be an autonomous grown up.
You have failed on both counts. For you have effectively crippled your son by making his life easy. He knows, no matter how badly he screws up, his mother is going to cover for him, make excuses for him, let him borrow her car, and pretty much clean up after him. You are, figuratively speaking, wiping the butt of a grown man and don't even realize it.
So, yeah, if I were your husband, I'd be ticked off too. Because I'm pretty sure this pattern didn't begin when your son came home from college. It started way before that and it's very likely your husband has had enough.
WOW, you'll never believe what he just told me. In response to his email we've had some back and forth conversations and I sent him an email asking if he had expected his daughter to just lay around all week and do nothing. She's home from college on spring break so if he expects my son to work then I expect the same from his daughter. He said that there's a difference between my son and his daughter. His daughter is away at college taking a full course load while my son is only taking one graphic design class. he says there's a major difference between the two. I look at it this way. Not that his daughter is at a major college and my son is taking a class but that they both are in school so they both should be treated the same.
Big difference. A full course load means non-stop studying. Your son is a loafer. You should be ashamed of yourself as a parent.
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