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Anything with "abuse" in the title sounds so severe, but I have been reading about it because someone close to me seems to fit some of the symptoms of being emotionally abused.
She has brought up the phrase because of the reading she's done and also her therapist has mentioned that may be it.
Her husband is generally a nice guy, doesn't try to isolate her from friends/family (in fact, seems to encourage her to be with us), nor does he call her mean names, rather, he is very complimentary to her and about her in front of others, anyway, and she says he is that way when they're together.
What he does do, she says, is "tests" her a lot. As in doesn't talk and then gets mad when she doesn't talk and then says he was testing her to see how long she would go without saying anything (like on a car ride or something).
Or he also gets mad about things that neither she nor I understand and then insist she apologize and say things like "should I treat you the way you treat me." As in, he thinks she treats him badly.
I don't know. I want to be supportive of her and I do think he's not someone I would really want to be with, but I just wonder if "emotional abuse" is really the name for this.
I would call his "testing" bouts of immaturity rather than emotional abuse. She has the means to break the silence as much as he does. Is she "testing" too? Some view silence as the other being upset at them...(just ask my husband...lol). We've gone through this a few times, but after communicating, we both agreed that sometimes, silence is golden!
Emotional abuse is trying to purposely destroy ones spirit...making demeaning statements, calling names, isolation being extremely jealous of them being around others, which stems from insecurity that they have. I've lived that life with my ex. It breaks a person down...and that's their goal.
IMO, I think they should have a heart to heart talk to understand just what it is the other is needing/wanting. No one should feel pressured to talk just for the sake of making noise. Sometimes, a couple can ride for miles and miles in silence and it's OK. On being crabby over little things...maybe he had a bad day?
I wouldn't call it emotional abuse. It's more of a game he plays with her and she doesn't realize it, but when she plays along with it, she feeds him and he continues doing it.
My first husband was like this. I fed into this until one day, I got fed up and started rolling my eyes, etc. He got mad at first but it stopped him.
haha uh ya that is emotional abuse but it also means he doesn't think he has much of a marriage. IMO it seems like he thinks it is all an act and he doesn't have much faith or belief in the marriage.
So either he is sort of not into the marriage and trying to make her feel guilty for dumb reasons, because he isn't truly into her or the marriage, or he thinks she is not into the marriage and is feeling really anxious and insecure because maybe she is sending hints that she doesn't like him anymore. Pretty strange but it looks like the start of a bad marraige.
He is either passive aggressive or she is passive aggressive. Passive aggressive people start arguments and make others feel guilty for really no good reasons.
This guy sounds like a nut job. Perhaps when there is dead silence in the car she should blow a whistle into his ear. Hell, he couldn't say she didn't make a sound.
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