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I was emotionally abused by my Father and my last ex boyfriend. Basically you will know it when it arrives. It sometimes is quite complex. I experienced it as being told I was too stupid all the time. I was constantly being accused by my ex for cheating, called a *****, screamed at with choice words. Another aspect of ea is often passive aggressive. Forgetting Valentines' Day, becoming extremely uncommunicative, calling you names regarding things done in the past.
I would say that this guy likes to put on a show in front of other people then when he gets alone with his wife maybe he doesn't attack her physical appearance but he is sure playing games with her head. What a nut case! Yes, he is abusing her and she should not play his stupid games. This would annoy me more than anything else and I think I would refuse to go with him and let him know why. It is all about control no matter how you catagorize the abuse the abuser is looking to control. This guy is definitely trying to get some sort of control over his wife. She just should not PLAY his dumb game.
Is forgetting valentines day really that big of a deal? I usually forget my own birthdays and stuff...
Yes I am sorry to say forgetting Valentines day is a very big deal if you are in a relationship and say you love the person. That is just the way it is. It shows a lack of consideration and caring, not to mention most women love the romance of it. I would advise not to forget it! Your birthday is one thing, but not hers or Valentines day. You have to be a dog to not remember it.
Anything with "abuse" in the title sounds so severe, but I have been reading about it because someone close to me seems to fit some of the symptoms of being emotionally abused.
She has brought up the phrase because of the reading she's done and also her therapist has mentioned that may be it.
Her husband is generally a nice guy, doesn't try to isolate her from friends/family (in fact, seems to encourage her to be with us), nor does he call her mean names, rather, he is very complimentary to her and about her in front of others, anyway, and she says he is that way when they're together.
What he does do, she says, is "tests" her a lot. As in doesn't talk and then gets mad when she doesn't talk and then says he was testing her to see how long she would go without saying anything (like on a car ride or something).
Or he also gets mad about things that neither she nor I understand and then insist she apologize and say things like "should I treat you the way you treat me." As in, he thinks she treats him badly.
I don't know. I want to be supportive of her and I do think he's not someone I would really want to be with, but I just wonder if "emotional abuse" is really the name for this.
Interested to hear what others think.
It's really hard to prescribe something for you from a short post on CD but from what I have read it sounds like he is playing mind games with her for whatever reason. Either way she needs to dump a guy like that..
And you're missing my point. To me, the concepts of 'relationship' and 'jumping in and out of' are mutually exclusive.
You're certainly missing creme's point. What she meant was there are people who move from one relationship to another (even if they're monogamous and exclusive) without taking any time to heal and to reflect and/or analyze them; thus, repeating the same mistakes over and over. And yes, they are the people who are afraid to be alone. And they're afraid to be alone because they're haunted by their demons they don't want to deal with and use relationships as Band Aid to take them through life without having to face their own problems and shortcomings.
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