Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'm 19 and in college. I have had no interest in family children anytime soon. My H and I married 2 months ago shortly before I had become pregnant. And have had to have an abortion. He has always wanted kids and a family and is prolife and he acted really immature and unsupportive during this. To the point he even threatened leaving me. He wouldn't go with me I had to arrange for a friend to pick me up and had to pay myself. He wanted no part in it and since he's been really mean and I understand he feels hurt about it but there was really nothing else I could do. It's been 2 weeks and I don't want a good begin to go down the tubes already. Advice? What can I do now to help him move past this?
I'm 19 and in college. I have had no interest in family children anytime soon. My H and I married 2 months ago shortly after I had become pregnant. And have had to have an abortion. He has always wanted kids and a family and is prolife and he acted really immature and unsupportive during this. To the point he even threatened leaving me. He wouldn't go with me I had to arrange for a friend to pick me up and had to pay myself. He wanted no part in it and since he's been really mean and I understand he feels hurt about it but there was really nothing else I could do. It's been 2 weeks and I don't want a good begin to go down the tubes already. Advice? What can I do now to help him move past this?
If your beginning was that good you would not be having this issue. Why would you marry someone knowing they want children and you may not?
You cannot *get* anyone over anything it is up to them to get past it or not. From what you have stated he won't get past it anytime soon.
I'm confused - it sounds like you got married because you were pregnant... but then you got an abortion? Why get married in the first place then? Of course, you seem to say you had to have the abortion so maybe it was for medical reasons that you found out about after getting married? Or are you saying you just felt like the abortion was your only option?
It's your right to have the abortion, but it's equally his right to feel differently about it - it was his baby too. This may be something he is not able to get passed. Regardless, it doesn't excuse him treating you meanly because of it, especially if the abortion was necessary for medical reasons. You need to have an adult conversation with each other about your feelings and decide whether you will be able to move beyond this or not.
I don't get your story. You married BECAUSE you are pregnant? Why did you HAVE to have an abortion, you state your husband WANTS to have children??
No we got married first for many other reasons I was not pregnant when we got married. I decided to get an abortion after I found I was pregnant because I am not ready to have kids at this time. I'm 19 in college and focused on getting through school and having a career before I have kids
If your beginning was that good you would not be having this issue. Why would you marry someone knowing they want children and you may not?
You cannot *get* anyone over anything it is up to them to get past it or not. From what you have stated he won't get past it anytime soon.
I want kids actually too. Just not now. I am way too inexperienced for that. We both knew that and didn't want kids until maybe like 5 or 10 years from now.
He is not supporting your abortion because he felt connected to the baby. It was his, too, you know?
I would suggest you tell him exactly how you feel and what you wrote here, maybe he will then understand your decision. Communication is important.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
