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I wanted to go back to work, but for the sake of our son (WHO HAS SPECIAL NEEDS as he has OCD and Sensory Avoidance and Sensory Seeking issues), my FIANCE decided that it was not in our best interest for me to work at this time. We live very comfortably...no cable TV but we do have Internet. There is nothing wrong with having both parents present in the home at this time.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with having both parents at home if you can afford it. 31K for a frugalite is fine, but for an average American it would be a stretch. Since your son has special needs it would also seem more prudent to get a job and start making wise economical decisions since you will be having more doctor's visits than the average. This may come as a shock, but there ARE children who live in Florida who are also special needs. A special needs child CAN live in Florida, or anywhere else for that matter, than God forsaken Fort Wayne, Indiana. Also, many parents with special needs DO work!
For a marriage to thrive the spouses should put each other first. When spouses put the needs of the children over one another that is when resentment builds. Obviously there are some needs for the children that should absolutely come before the parent, but in this situation (even taking into account your child being special needs) I don't see where that would apply.
Ya'll are judging without knowing the whole story...and Fort Wayne is not the cesspool make it out to be. It is a very nice city. Hooters burned down a long time ago (replaced by an Urgent Care clinic) and the strip clubs in question are not present on our side of town but many miles away.
We'all are judging what you told us. Of course you are welcome to add information.
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There is absolutely nothing wrong with having both parents at home if you can afford it. 31K for a frugalite is fine, but for an average American it would be a stretch. Since your son has special needs it would also seem more prudent to get a job and start making wise economical decisions since you will be having more doctor's visits than the average. This may come as a shock, but there ARE children who live in Florida who are also special needs. A special needs child CAN live in Florida, or anywhere else for that matter, than God forsaken Fort Wayne, Indiana. Also, many parents with special needs DO work!
For a marriage to thrive the spouses should put each other first. When spouses put the needs of the children over one another that is when resentment builds. Obviously there are some needs for the children that should absolutely come before the parent, but in this situation (even taking into account your child being special needs) I don't see where that would apply.
Ditto this. It seems like Op would want to start saving for her own retirement.
HE is the one that brought up about me delaying work until our son starts kindergarten. Maybe our son DOES need two stay-at-home parents at this particular juncture. Don't judge unless you know the whole story.
It started off as an attempt to brag. A few people called the brag into question, and here we are.
If you look at her other threads, there's a lot more back-patting and support. "You should tell HIM to move!", etc. She was likely expecting the same here.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Oh, sorry, the Hooters burned down and you're not close to all the strip clubs, I'm guessing North Side, well, it's good its turning the corner. It was a living hell. Heck, I preferred living in Evansville if that tells you anything. Those are the dark ages to me.
I was looking for work and my fiance Dennis brought up (and I agree) that it would be better for me and Thomas if I waited to pursue work until after he started kindergarten. It was like a huge brick was lifted off my shoulders because, although my head tells me that I want to get back in the work force, my heart wants to be home. Dennis was the one who brought it up, and he showed me just how much of a real man he was by putting us first and his aspirations at moving down to Florida dead-last. (Florida has crappy schools unless you live in the rich parts...I have done my research...and we already know about the crappy state of most Oklahoma schools). The schools in Fort Wayne in the NE part (where we live) are rated 7-10 out of 10 and receive an A rating from greatschools.org. The one I want to send Thomas to is about a mile away and rates 10/10. As long as we provide his transportation, I can send him to whatever school in town I want. I like Fort Wayne. Hate their winters, but I have really adapted to this city and their (for the most part) friendly people. But their summers are FABULOUS - usually in the 70s and low 80s and hardly no humidity. I don't mind staying here. It will be at the expense of Dennis's happiness, but he will get over it and what counts is he knows that Thomas is first. I think he came to his senses in that he realizes that once you have a kid, your dreams, i.e., him moving to Florida, will have to be put on hold either temporarily or even permanently.
So your fiancee decided not to move into one crappy area to stay with you in a different crappy area....and this somehow makes him a "real man".
Prior to giving in to the OPs demands, the fiancé was a FAKE man I guess. lol.
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